Shaun Keith Orris, 41, called police at around 2:45 a.m. Thursday to say he was "battered and bloodied" just for asking a question at a bar in Wisconsin.
His question, to other bar patrons, was how they feel about sex.
The owner of the drinking establishment said he asked Orris to leave, and when he refused, a physical dispute ensued that left a cut on Orris' head.
When cops showed up, the owner said that Orris was drunk and asking people if they felt they have the constitutional right to have sex with a goat.
Investigators say Orris went home after the altercation, got a pocket knife and came back, only to be arrested for disorderly conduct and carrying a concealed weapon.
On the way to the hospital, cops say he began screaming that it was a constitutional right to have sex with a goat, then started "uncontrollably laughing."
We're laughing too ... but not for quite the same reason.