It's brutal, but Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag must forego sex on the UK's Celebrity Big Brother ... well, aside from the one scene deemed too hot for TV.
It's a lot harder to get freaky, that's for sure.
"I wanna get naughty," a drunk Heidi told Spencer on the reality show this week. "I want more. I want all of you. It's been too long. I'm in a drought."
Pratt then instructed her to finish her wine.
The spouses of nearly four years don't shy away from PDA (would you expect otherwise), so Spencer smacked that ass. "I like that a lot. Again, again!" Heidi slurred.
"What do I have to do to get more?
Montag then pinched Spencer Pratt's nipples and rubbed her hilariously huge DDD breasts as she danced alone in the living room after he went to take a leak.
When housemate Rylan Clark remarked that he'd never seen the 'Tag get drunk, Heidi said it's probably because CBB makes it so hard to get loose:
"Usually I'm the most fun drunk ever. It's hard here. I don't get to really be myself here at all because it's so intense. Normally I'm probably one of the nicest people."
Later that evening, Heidi Montag climbed into bed with Spencer - in the room they share with the other housemates. "Do you want me to roll on to you?" she whispered.
His response? "It feels like a jiu jitsu move. I'm already locked in."
You may now vomit on cue.