The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Recap: The Secret That Shall Not Be Named

by at . Comments

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills swear "She's Gone Too Far" but in truth, only they know for sure how far she's really gone this time.

We break down what we can of the secret that shall not be named and find out who is the biggest tattle tale in THG's patented +/- review!

Mauricio's Birthday Gift

Kyle's house is getting egged? Disgruntled fan? Perhaps they need to invest in a better security system. Money's obviously not a problem since Mauricio gave Kyle a brand new Maserati one week and now his 16 year old gets her own Mercedes.

Almost more shocking than the car were the girl's shorts. Minus 14. The only way for that tiny scrap of denim to get any shorter would be if she took them off altogether.  

Kyle justifies it all by saying that her daughter just turned 16 and she's a really good kid.  Shouldn't all good kid's get their own Mercedes? Apparently they hand them out when you get your license when you live in Beverly Hills.

But you'd think her parents would at least make her put some pants on before she drove off in it.

Brandi's still talking about her book deal and they're trying to come up with a title.  Minus 10 because I kind of hate the working title, It's Divorce, Not Cancer. 

Brandi Glanville wants something a little more straight forward like Get the F**k Over It. Plus 8 for her directness but something tells me the publisher might go with something else.

Did anyone else notice that Brandi's home looked almost like a normal house compared to the other ladies' McMansions. Perhaps she really does need the money form this book.

Camille Grammer makes another appearance and maybe she could cool it on the Kelsey penis jokes. Minus 15. I'm not the guy's biggest fan but this punchline has gotten old.  Time to move one.

Across town, Lisa's got her own problems. One of her servers ticked off an influential customer.  It sounds like they were both idiots but obviously the server's lucky she still has a job.  But it would have been nice if Lisa had been willing to hear her employee's side of the story. Minus 9.

But Lisa's mind is otherwise occupied as Ken heads off to have hip replacement surgery.  I never realized that he's 16 years her senior. Plus 15 because everything goes off smoothly and it sounds as though he'll make a quick recovery.

At Lisa's tasting party for her friends Brandi is asked what's the back story between her and Adrienne and in true Brandi fashion, she tells all.  The only problem is the viewers don't get to hear the best dirt. Minus 20.

So is Bravo just holding out to make this bombshell into the big reveal or are there legal reasons why this must be the secret that can't be named?

The reasons are anyone's guess but if everyone had kept their mouths shut the story could have died right there…but really, what were the odds of that?

If I'd had to guess I would have pegged Taylor as the first to tattle but it turned out to be Kim.  Minus 22. Was she just ditzy when she shared the news at Mauricio's big event or was it a passive aggressive move against her sister and brother-in-law.  Goodness knows there's still tension between them.

Whatever this secret is, Adrienne calls Brandi a liar and Paul blows a gasket. Suddenly he's screaming at Brandi in the middle of the party.  Wouldn't you love to know what the piece of news was that set him off like that?

Of course none of Kyle's friends seem to have any qualms about making a scene in front of Mauricio's clients.  Minus 18.  Adrienne's yelling about lawsuits and Paul's telling Brandi she's a b*tch as they storm out.  

If they wanted to keep whatever this is a secret perhaps screaming about it at a public event wasn't their brightest move.

Will we ever know what Brandi's bombshell was? Did you think Kim would be the town gossip? And was revealing it at Maricio's party part of her evil plan or just general stupidity at work.

EPISODE TOTAL: -85! SEASON TOTAL: -98!

Tags: , , , , , , ,