The Real Housewives of New York City comes back from vacation and "What Happens in St. Barths Doesn't Stay in St. Barths." We'll break down all the self righteous ranting and why Karma's a bitch in THG's exclusive +/- review.
The ladies make their way back to the city where their trip to St. Barths is rehashed until I thought I'd be nauseous if I heard about it one more time. Minus 12.
But the one thing no one is talking about…Luann and Tomas. As Luann hangs all over her French boy toy everyone wonders what he knows but no one says a word.
Minus 8. I know it's unusually good manners on their part but I'm a bit disappointed that Luann didn't have to own up to her cheating ways.
Luann is still in baby making mode, even while Jacques takes off for two weeks to France. I suppose with the magic of in-vitro-fertilization anything is possible. I'm still surprised Luann isn't pushing for a ring on her finger first.
Of course Luann is the only one who completely sides with Aviva. Carole is compassionate but even she can't wait to get drunk with Heather to try and put that trip behind her. Plus 10. The Godiva and cherry bomb shots looked darn tasty.
Even Carole admits that Aviva can be a little self righteous. A little? Ha! Aviva's cornered the market.
Plus 11 to Heather who compares Aviva to a teacher who slams a ruler when you don't pay enough attention to her. So true.
Speaking of Heather, she earned points with me tonight. Plus 8 for joking that she saw Sonja's boobs and vagina so much on that trip that she felt like her OBGYN.
Plus 10 for saying that, "For somebody who had a miserable time in St. Barths, she sure loves to relive it." So true. If someone could get Aviva to shut up about the whole thing I'd gladly hand out extra bonus points.
What is it with Aviva wondering how anyone could not open their arms to someone who jumped through such hoops to get to the island. I'm pretty sure everyone took the same scary flight. Just not everyone dwelled on it for the entire trip and beyond.
And Plus 15 goes to Heather for finally telling Aviva, "You're being me, me, me, me, me." Let it go and move on already.
Yeah, I think Heather's dreaming if she thinks that's going to happen but it's a nice thought.
But really all of the ladies has some great lines tonight.
- Sonja about Aviva: She's a buzz kill when she's not even here.
- Heather to Aviva: Once you arrived, then all Hell broke loose and the bottom dropped out.
- Sonja about Aviva: Maybe if she paid for her own education, she'd use it.
- Ramona: In my real opinion, I'm usually right.
There's one more small scene that doesn't revolve around Aviva. Sonja and Carole head out and Carole learns what a b*tch Karma can be.
You know how there's always that guy you thought you successfully ditched after a bad date. Well, Carole's bad date came back to haunt her. Minus 8 for Carole. Talk about awkward.
But does Carole really believe that if her cigarettes are pink they aren't dangerous. Minus 9. Please tell me she's kidding.
Then we get to the final showdown. In a surprise turn, Aviva invites Sonja to lunch to tell her that calling her low class white trash just slipped out. Minus 14. That's got to be one of the lamest apologies I've ever hear.
Then she swears she was duped by Ramona. Minus 10. Duped how? Into believe Sonja's white trash? I suppose all roads lead back to Ramona somehow.
By this point I'm thinking of starting a drinking game and having one of those Godiva shots every time Aviva says the words "morally reprehensible."
Aviva can't stop talking about Sonja's lack of character and how she's the only one who will tell her the truth about it.
In all honesty, Sonja's a lush but watching Sonja drink and party is far more entertaining than listening to Aviva pontificate over the moral high ground every week.
Plus 20 to Sonja for telling her she's over it and leaving the table.
Do do you think Sonja went home and knocked back a few drinks? Did Aviva go home and continue to complain about the ladies to Reid? Will the talk of St. Barths ever end?
EPISODE TOTAL: +37! SEASON TOTAL: -255!