The Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: The Jersey Side Step

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It's a big night for The Real Housewives of New Jersey and their families as they do "The Jersey Side Step" right out of the state. Can Melissa play to a crowd? Will the Manzo boys stay sober long enough to get some work done? We recap it all in this week's THG +/- review.

We start off small with Kathy heading over to an ice cream store in Paterson to ask them to taste her cookies but she complains when Rich takes over. Minus 8. If she really didn't want him to interfere she should have left him at home. 

And can someone please inform Richie that it's no longer 1992? He can turn his shirt collar down now. Minus 7.

Melissa Gorga Singing

The Beat Stock concert is fast approaching and we get glimpses of both Gia and Melissa practicing their routines. Before the show Teresa's kids are openly mocking aunt Melissa as Teresa and Joe laugh. Minus 10. If the Guidices were serious about mending the rift between their families they should have stopped the little brats immediately, not encouraged them.

Can someone please explain to me how people who are going bankrupt can afford a personal hair stylist and makeup artist?  I'm really confused.


At least Melissa is honest enough with herself to admit that she's not the best singer. Plus 11. She's obviously lip synching but I can't even deduct points for that. When major stars are doing it, it's hard to expect more from Mrs. Gorga. 

Do you think Joe Gorga believes in his wife's talent or is his encouragement just his way of ensuring his sex life? And oh God, did we really need the crotch shot by the pool?  Minus 12.

When I think it can't get any worse, it does. Later on we see Joe sucking on Melissa's toes. Ugh. Minus another 12. I think I'd rather see the crotch shot again.

The Manzos and Lauritas prepare for the Fancy Foods trade show in Washington, D.C.  Albert's hawking his Brownstone tomato sauce and is considering plastering Caroline's face on the label since to him she represents the traditional old Italian Mom. Then the boys tell her if the pictures don't look good they'll just pull the whole idea. 

Plus 10 because they basically get away with calling Caroline old and ugly without reprecussion.  I kept waiting for them to ask her to hold the jar higher so that it blocked her out entirely.

Manzo Pic

The boys are off trying to sell blk. water with uncle Chris. The boxes say that blk. water is infused with fulvic acid. A quick internet search says that it's basically a derivative of substances from decaying plants and animals.

Minus 9. That sounds like something I buy filters to keep out of my water, not pay extra to have put into it. Hopefully these boys have one Hell of a sales pitch.

I will admit that the packaging looks good and the booth is well done so plus 10 but how much money has uncle Chris put into this? The trade show booth cost somewhere close to $20,000. That van with the blk. Water wrap on it is probably close to $50,000.

And then there's the dinner at The Russian House where Chris gets to watch his nephews and their friends get plastered doing vodka shots the night before their big show. It wouldn't surprise me if Chris paid for that too.

Albie cries that he's doing all this work and not taking a salary but that makes me wonder who is paying the $3,000 a month rent on that apartment they're living in in Hoboken?

Minus 15 because uncle Chris is really the only one with something on the line in this. If it all falls apart I have no doubt that the Manzo boys will just go home to Mommy.

Finally why are uncle Chris and Caroline bashing Lindsey for being a clingy girlfriend? Didn't Chris just say that Albie was the one having a freak out because his girlfriend didn't return a text and wasn't picking up her phone. Wouldn't that make Albie the clingy boyfriend?

Next week the whole crew gets in an RV for five days of alcohol and togetherness in Napa. What could possibly go wrong?

Episode total:  -42  Season total: -179

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....married for some time, and having the kids. Melissa, you go girl. I ain't mad at ya:-)But keep'in it 100%, The fact that you are a very beautiful woman, it would be really cool if Joe wouldn't treat you like a commodity or a product. Because at the end of the day, your his wife. And an equal in your marriage. It's a little degrading and disrespectful to hear him talk under your clothes and his embarrassing attempts to hook up with you no matter who's around (that was cutt'in it close when your daughter walked in on you two). You really need to demand that respect from any body. I don't care how much money he spends on you, your selfrespect isn't for sale. And your not anyone's property Your hubby lost some cool points w/me for say'in that.because I think you guys are so cute together.(ijs) Other then that, "Smoochez" :-)

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I don't understand teresa fans, she is clearly crazy. I can watch both sides of whoever she is talking to and not read into what they might be 'trying' to convey to other, and teresa answers back like she is hearing a totally different conversation. the beeech is nuts

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Isn't it true? The more controversial/relevant they are to the show, the more they get paid? I'm sure they all aren't getting paid the same amount. I'm also sure that if they don't do something to cause controversy, they will get axed. It's seems to be a double bladed sword. They are selling their souls to the devil to keep from getting fired. All of them are strapped for cash now. It seems as though they'll say/do anything to stay on the air?

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@mj don't ever talk about my kids i see ur parents did a good raising u ctfu idgaf what people think about me ur a fucking nobody and always will be

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For all u ppl who think Teresa is so innocent & doing a great job...Go watch season 1 & 2! She has changed tremendously from when she 1st started!! Complete 180! I liked her back then but shes nothing but a liar now &She's freaking jealous of Melissa! She truly needs therapy if she thinks she doesnt have a problem! And Juicy Joe-Barf! He's sooooooo nasty & gross! If he gets 10 yrs, maybe somebody will give him an attitude adjustment! I would feel bad 4 the kids, tho! I do agree, Teresa should have stopped her kids from acting like little brats & condoning their behavior but they only act by watching their parents so it comes honestly!

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Caroline is a jealous troll. No one is perfect except her family. Don't dare get on her bad side. You'll have the wrath of "The Caroline" down upon you. Go take a cold shower Caroline. Nobody cares about you and your opinions. Take care of your own grown adult/kids and keep you nose out of other peoples lives. Stop running your mouth already! POOF! Please go away hateful/spiteful old women. You're too judge-mental of people you call your friends. You are the one with a lot of serious issues/jealousy's. Take a look in the mirror old girl.

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Why get so angry at the kids? It's not their fault how they look or act for that matter. It comes from their genes and the environment they are raised in. I don't think they are ugly or brats though. I think they're cute. I'm sure most of that is for the camera anyway. Considering what they go through, I think they are holding up well. It's not their fault. Poor babies. Teresa is a product of her upbringing also. She's trying to do the best she can.

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f*ck thg/stfu, clearly you have ugly brats of your own and this has hit a nerve. Instead of trolling gossip sites, you should really go back and try and pass the 8th grade. Good luck, you'll need it! Or should I say "Gud luk, you's stoopid bratz will neeeeed it!"

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The fact that you actually think "you's" is a word is disgusting. I mean seriously, at least spell the non-word correctly...anyone with an elementary school education knows that it's spelled "yooz."

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Didn't the six year old call her older sister a stupid whore in an earlier episode? Yeah, calling them brats seems pretty tame. And Richie and those shirt collars are hilarious.

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