Four guys. One girl. Four families. One broken heart.
Things got serious, emotional, cheesy and awkward as always on The Bachelorette as Emily Maynard went to her prospective husbands' places of origin.
Arie, Chris, Jef and Sean each received a hero's welcome and acquitted themselves well on make-or-break hometown dates, but only three roses were in play.
Who got the boot, and who's on to the final three? Follow this link for all The Bachelorette spoilers we know, then read on for THG's official +/- recap!
Over-under on the number of times the phrase "hometown date" is spoken tonight? 17. And we're betting the over. Minus 17 because it'll be close.
Ricki sighting! Plus 20. She turns seven TODAY, so Plus 7 more.
Minus 10 for killing time and recapping all the guys. Snooze.
Chris Bukowski is up first. Are they getting him out of the way? Guy has to be the clear underdog among the top four. Sorry Chris, it's just true man.
"On a scale of one to Polish, we're Polish." - Proudly Polish Chris. Plus 5.
Mmm ... beer. Emily Maynard drinks a lot of it for a girly girl. Plus 4.
She always looks very, very tan ... in Chicago, in early spring, that makes one of them. Minus 3 for maybe trying just a little too hard sometimes.
Plus 6, though for the hair. It's so pretty.
Chris says his folks are pumped to meet their future daughter-in-law. On the same day Emily comes by? Wow, that's gonna be awkward! Minus 10.Guy who talks to his mom for hours on the phone and calls/texts his dad every day: Sweet or not independent enough? Tough call, Emily. Even.
Poor Chris ... dropping the l-bomb for the first time in his life, only to more than likely not get a rose in under an hour and a half. Rough. Minus 9.
Plus 6 for the polka dance party afterward. How can you not love that? Well, if you're us. Not sure if you're the girl being wooed if it's a plus.
Jef's family's Holmstead Ranch looks pretty freaking awesome. Plus 18, for the natural beauty and because he's so much more country than he lets on.
Minus 8 for the skinny jeans, however. Not a good look, Jef.
Of the four guys, we would have ranked Jef Holm last on the list of guys likely to play with firearms on his hometown date. Images are deceiving. Plus 5.
Plus 15 for Emily looking super hot and being a crack shot.
Whoa, that's a lot of siblings! And little blonde kids! Plus 6.
Jef's parents' absence is a little odd - shades of Melissa Rycroft - but his siblings are certainly paternal. One of them also really looks like Emily. Even.
Emily says she'd move anywhere for the right guy and family ... yet she's slow to throw around the l-word. Girl's got her head on straight. Plus 10.
Older bro Steve is putting Jef through the wringer, but still seems supportive. He may be the dark horse, but don't count out the single F. Plus 12.
This letter Jef wrote started off cheesy beyond belief, but wow, talk about putting it all out there. Plus 48 for writing that. Is it dusty in here or what??!
Arie looks "stupid hot" in a race car, according to Emily. So much for this date conjuring up unpleasant memories, seeing as ... moving on! Plus 9.
This guy really drives like he pursues women. Hard. Fast. Okay, that seemed a lot funnier in our heads before we typed it out, so Minus 5.
Emily embraces Arie's career. And just Arie, a lot. Plus 11.
Arie Luyendyk, Jr.'s parents and siblings are as European as you can get. Which is cool. This episode, while fairly uneventful, continues to surprise.
Plus 5 for Arie being multilingual. Minus 12 for speaking Dutch in front of a clueless Emily. Definitely not the warmest vibe in the house here.
Arie's mom openly grills her on Brad Womack and why they broke up. Talk about not mincing words. Minus only 3, because it's a fair question.
Arie doesn't lack for confidence, or apparently love for Emily. This is the third or fourth time he's talked about proposing to her already. Plus 9.
Move over Ricki. Sean Lowe introduces Emily to his little girl ... dogs. Plus 3.
Plus 4 for Emily's maxi dress. Minus 4 for Sean's effeminate-looking t-shirt.
Sean is super genuine, but that kiss in the park was super weird. Minus 5.
"What if they hate me?" - Emily, re: meeting Sean's folks. As. If. Minus 5.
How jealous is Ricki after seeing Kensington's awesome cottage??! Minus 5.
Plus 11 for the still-living-at-home practical joke. Good to see Sean has a sense of humor. "He's really into stuffed animals" was a great quote too.
Sean's dad is as nice as he is. The apple doesn't fall far from that tree. Their heart-to-heart was about as sweet as it gets for male bonding. Plus 19.
When you want something in life, you gotta go get it ... especially if that thing is another kiss from Emily in the passenger seat of an SUV. Plus 4.
Chris Harrison sighting! Welcoming Emily to the Peninsula Hotel, right here in Beverly Hills! Minus 16 for that terrible, obvious marketing plug.
Minus 34 for more time-filling recaps. We just saw this stuff, Chris.
Emily starts to come unglued during her fireside chat when the conversation turns to, well, eliminating someone once they fill up enough time.
Arie gets the first rose, followed by Jef. Then Chris announces the final rose tonight (Plus 20), which she gives to Sean, obviously. Poor Chris.
"Is there an explanation?" - Chris. We feel bad and all, but isn't it kind of obvious? No need to act like you're about to murder people. Minus 10.
Minus 100 for the middle finger out the sunroof that Chris left Beverly Hills with ... but Plus 100 for viewers catching this and commenting!
EPISODE TOTAL: +80. SEASON TOTAL: +124.
Who do you think Emily should choose on The Bachelorette?