The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Recap: Leis, Lies and Lanai

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When the party drama ends, the trip begins as we follow The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills on their Hawaiian adventure. Will the islands survive the cattiness of these intoxicated divas? We break it all down in this week's +/- recap!

The White Party continues after Taylor and Russell are tossed to the curb and Kyle finally stops the waterworks. Plus 10 because I'm not sure how much more of her sobbing I can take.

Plus 8 to Adrienne for sticking up for Camille. Taylor claims her words were exaggerated. Russell swears it's all a lie. Off camera Taylor backpedals and says the allegations of abuse are true. With all the different versions flying around it's hard to keep it all straight.

Taylor Armstrong's Lips

But Minus 15 because it's hard to concentrate on anything with Taylor's lips filling up the screen. Someone ask her to go easy on the injections before Donald Duck gets jealous.

Back at Kyle's the party continues. Does anyone else find the Fatburger tent out of place? I'm all for a good burger but it's such an odd product placement. Minus 10 because it looks like the ladies will push almost anything for a buck.

When the party is over the packing begins and it's off to Hawaii for Mauricio's birthday. 

Oh my God. Jiggy can't go. Will Ken and Lisa survive the trip without their beloved fur ball?

Everyone is relieved that Taylor and Russell aren't coming but will Kim make it? Less than an hour before the flight Kyle calls her sister from the airport. It's hardly a surprise to hear that Kim is still at home. The excuses don't stop. Her license has expired, she can't find her passport, she's looking for her keys. Some things don't change. Minus 8.

Oh, and Kim's alarm didn't go off. Or maybe she was just too stoned to hear it. What's your guess?

Kyle Tweaks

The rest of the gang arrives at the Four Seasons on the island of Lanai. Plus 20. Can I help Mauricio celebrate his birthday too?

With Taylor and Kim out of the picture, Brandi is in the spotlight. The woman has no filter. Whatever pops into her head falls out of her mouth in the same moment but I think I'm with Camille on this one. If you don't take it personally, Brandi is kind of hilarious so Plus 7 for the comic relief.

Of course Kim's new love Ken might not like it when he hears that Brandi says he looks like a gay Bull Mastiff. Plus 8 because I agree he definitely resembles the dog but I can't say I've ever met a gay Bull Mastiff so it's hard to comment on that part.

At the resort, Brandi's drunk and practically groping Lisa's husband, Ken, not that he's complaining. So funny when Kyle calls him out on his sudden interest in learning about the islands. Plus 5.

Of course all of Brandi's attention may have bought Ken an extra birthday present from Lisa this year. So I'm guessing Ken's enjoying all aspects of this vacation.

On the beach Lisa snarks that Brandi's string bikini isn't more than "butt floss" but if anyone call pull that look off it's definitely Brandi. Plus 7 because they say if you've got it, flaunt it and Brandi has no problems doing so.

Brandi and Ken

When Paul shows up in Hawaii he's hoping for a romantic vacation with his wife but Adrienne really needs to loosen up.

She's worrying about the kids and says she has no plans to go in the ocean. Minus 10. She's on one of the most beautiful beaches in the world. Live a little.

Plus Paul had to fly over with Kim and Ken. Poor man. He mentions she spent way too much time in the bathroom. No surprise there.

So next week Kim and Ken finally stumble into the party. Let the games begin.

EPISODE TOTAL: +22. SEASON TOTAL: -290.

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