Teen Mom 2 Season Premiere Recap: Let the Train Wreck Begin!

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Move over Amber Portwood, Maci Bookout, Farrah Abraham and Catelynn Lowell.

The stars of Teen Mom 2 - Chelsea Houska, Jenelle Evans, Kailyn Lowry and Leah Messer - are back for a second season of their own! In last night's Halloween-themed premiere, we saw them at their best and worst ... mostly the latter.

Come along as we break it down THG style!

Jenelle Evans Cries

Jenelle Evans' boyfriend Kieffer Delp is still around. Or should we say, he's back. Minus 20 for the Brunswick County (N.C.) Detention Center releasing him early.

Her mom, who has custody of her son Jace, allowed Jenelle to move in with her only so long as she doesn't see this dirtbag (who is not the daddy). Smart. Plus 9.

Of course, this being Jenelle, she rendezvous with Delp anyway. With cameras. So secretive, guys. Barb will never know. Minus 4 for the paradox of reality TV.

Jenelle to her mom: "You f--king idiot! You stupid bitch, I hate you." Plus 15.

Kieffer: "We deserve a chance to relax, as hard as our lives are." Dude, you're a lowlife miscreant who does nothing but relax, often in DOC facilities. Eh, Plus 7.

Kieffer again, about working hard and saving money with Jenelle: "I'mma keep stacking cake." I'mma give that Plus 6, even if pastry stacking can't pay much.

Sure enough - we totes called it! - Barbara spots Jenelle with Kieffer and all HELL breaks loose. She kicks her daughter out. Curse words are exchanged. Jace sheds a lot of tears. Jenelle effing BODY SLAMS her mom. Good GOD girl. Minus 17.

Meanwhile, Leah has a new career as a dental assistant. Cute scrubs! Plus 4.

Before Corey can celebrate Leah Messer's new gig, he obviously wants to know if "any guys work there." Dude, it's a paycheck at a normal job. Chill. Minus 8.

Leah's mom says trust "is a big thing in a relationship." Apparently one these two didn't have, because we all know they get divorced. Sad, really. Minus 12.

Chelsea Houska Pic

Chelsea kicks it at home, pretending to study for the GED. Lazy. Minus 9.

Watching her style her daughter's hair isn't much better. Minus 9 more.

Her baby daddy Adam tries to worm his way back into her life, be it for sexual intercourse, money or some combination thereof. It's unclear. Chelsea: "I'm going to go with my brain." Good attitude, but that's not saying much, so ... Wash.

The shining light of Teen Mom 2, Kailyn Lowry, busts her ASS. Plus 30.

Working two jobs, attending college full-time and launching a clothing line? That's more than most people without kids can juggle. And she's even on good terms with Jo Rivera, keeping things civil with custody. Mostly. Plus 10.

She lies about plans to take their son trick-or-treating with boyfriend Jordan. We know she doesn't wanna stir the pot, but these are the things that come back to BITE YOU girlfriend. Minus only 5, since she may still come clean.

Plus 17 overall for the cute Halloween costumes this week.

Minus 8 overall for the girls' wardrobes. Jenelle especially.

EPISODE TOTAL: +6!

What did you think of the Teen Mom 2 premiere? Discuss below!

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so with all of the money Chelsea makes, is she still on medicaid and having tax payers pay for her surgery? Can't stand that spoiled heifer.

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To Sheila: wtf is wrong with you? Who says stuff like that? U r a poor excuse for a human being and should be ashamed! Obviously you need mental help and should worry abou that and not about someone elses love life!
The only teen mom that really has issues is Jenelle! I cant get over her choosing that looser over her son! She can do better! Her mom is a bitch and is half responsible for Jenelle being so irresponsible because she should have made her grow up by not doing everything and taking over every aspect of motherhood that Jenelle should have been forced to do. I think she would have stepped up if she had to, but since her mom did it for her, of course shes gonna take advantage of it. I pray she realizes her mistakes and grows up before her son does :( i think she would be a good mom if she tried and her mom let her try.
Chelsea... Adam wont change! Trust me, u can do better!

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why is jenelle disrespecting her mom a plus 15? is that a mistake?

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Wow. Everyone that left a comment here is stupid. All these typos and incorrect grammar.

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I think Leah is a horrible slutty mom, she needs to be concern with puttinh Aliannah in a dam zoo because she is a sorry fat ass midget who looks like a deform penis, LEAH IS SLUT, DAWN SPEARS IS BISEXUAL CUNT, AND ALIANNAH WILL BE A FLUFFER IN A PORN, ALEEAH will be a redneck hick sucking dick in a bar, like her slutty mom!!!

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I am a teen mom myself and as for janelle she needs to be slapped... I would never dare to treat my mom like that or not take care of my son like that. She so puts her bf before anyone and thats a fact. As for the other girls I think they are doing a wonderful job at being moms. Leah may have a baby that has problems but yes i do believe she deserves atleast a lil break from her babies... She is still a teen and having two kids can be stressful!! Very!! And kaitlyn I think that sh is doin the right thing to so what she has a new man jo can F*** off if he dont like it that is her choice and she shouldnt even have to hide it from him...

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Lord, where to begin... Chelsea is still an idiot; Jenelle is still a foul-mouth disrespectful beyotch; Kail... I'm hoping for the best for her. I like Leah but she should've never married Corey if she wasn't sure that's what she wanted.

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@khara They do get money for the show $60,000 and up. Janelle may have to share her cut with her mom. I don't know. A teen mom either matures quickly or turns into Janelle. The middle and high schools have a health class all about sex. It discusses STD's (critters ick) and prevention of pregnancy. However, in most schools contraceptives are not given out. This is a very hot button topic with parents on both sides of the fence. It truly is a parents responsibilty to educated your child on sex. I'd rather have an uncomfortable talk then be a grandparent. Teens know more than some parents want to admit. That is the problem!!!

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cory is doesnt trust her cuz he knows she can get better!! He looks like a tard! Ieah is a super cute girl wht does she see in him?

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I wasn't a teen mom myself and couldn't even imagine what that's like so I think that's my reason watching it..on the other hand I think that teens should be warned better these days, kids are sexually active younger and with the economy like it is not all parents can afford to assist with protection or birth control and so on, I think birth control should be given not high in cost. It's a cruel world we live in and I feel for some of these Teen Moms on this show, also adoption and abortion shouldn't be so frowned upon if birth control isn't free or cheap to afford, hope I didn't step on any toes its just my opinion

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