Teen Mom 2 Season Premiere Recap: Let the Train Wreck Begin!

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Move over Amber Portwood, Maci Bookout, Farrah Abraham and Catelynn Lowell.

The stars of Teen Mom 2 - Chelsea Houska, Jenelle Evans, Kailyn Lowry and Leah Messer - are back for a second season of their own! In last night's Halloween-themed premiere, we saw them at their best and worst ... mostly the latter.

Come along as we break it down THG style!

Jenelle Evans Cries

Jenelle Evans' boyfriend Kieffer Delp is still around. Or should we say, he's back. Minus 20 for the Brunswick County (N.C.) Detention Center releasing him early.

Her mom, who has custody of her son Jace, allowed Jenelle to move in with her only so long as she doesn't see this dirtbag (who is not the daddy). Smart. Plus 9.

Of course, this being Jenelle, she rendezvous with Delp anyway. With cameras. So secretive, guys. Barb will never know. Minus 4 for the paradox of reality TV.

Jenelle to her mom: "You f--king idiot! You stupid bitch, I hate you." Plus 15.

Kieffer: "We deserve a chance to relax, as hard as our lives are." Dude, you're a lowlife miscreant who does nothing but relax, often in DOC facilities. Eh, Plus 7.

Kieffer again, about working hard and saving money with Jenelle: "I'mma keep stacking cake." I'mma give that Plus 6, even if pastry stacking can't pay much.

Sure enough - we totes called it! - Barbara spots Jenelle with Kieffer and all HELL breaks loose. She kicks her daughter out. Curse words are exchanged. Jace sheds a lot of tears. Jenelle effing BODY SLAMS her mom. Good GOD girl. Minus 17.

Meanwhile, Leah has a new career as a dental assistant. Cute scrubs! Plus 4.

Before Corey can celebrate Leah Messer's new gig, he obviously wants to know if "any guys work there." Dude, it's a paycheck at a normal job. Chill. Minus 8.

Leah's mom says trust "is a big thing in a relationship." Apparently one these two didn't have, because we all know they get divorced. Sad, really. Minus 12.

Chelsea Houska Pic

Chelsea kicks it at home, pretending to study for the GED. Lazy. Minus 9.

Watching her style her daughter's hair isn't much better. Minus 9 more.

Her baby daddy Adam tries to worm his way back into her life, be it for sexual intercourse, money or some combination thereof. It's unclear. Chelsea: "I'm going to go with my brain." Good attitude, but that's not saying much, so ... Wash.

The shining light of Teen Mom 2, Kailyn Lowry, busts her ASS. Plus 30.

Working two jobs, attending college full-time and launching a clothing line? That's more than most people without kids can juggle. And she's even on good terms with Jo Rivera, keeping things civil with custody. Mostly. Plus 10.

She lies about plans to take their son trick-or-treating with boyfriend Jordan. We know she doesn't wanna stir the pot, but these are the things that come back to BITE YOU girlfriend. Minus only 5, since she may still come clean.

Plus 17 overall for the cute Halloween costumes this week.

Minus 8 overall for the girls' wardrobes. Jenelle especially.


What did you think of the Teen Mom 2 premiere? Discuss below!

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