Kourtney & Kim Take New York Rekap: Kris Humphries Wants Kids! Like Right Away!

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Sunday on Kourtney & Kim Take New York, newlyweds Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries continued to butt heads, while butt head Scott Disick's risque computer search history ruffled some feathers with baby mama Kourtney.

Scripted, contrived nonsense alert!

What did Kris say to Kim that really hit klose to home? Why did Kourt decide she needs to spice things up? THG breaks down Sunday evening's drama, +/- style:

Kim K. Image

Kim kicks off the third episode of the season pretending to contemplate family. "Maybe it's time to get off the pill and see what happens naturally," she says, seemingly without irony, seeing as there is nothing original about this girl. Minus 9.

Kourtney thinks it'd be Mason to have a playmate. Of course, she knows Kim will never really oblige so she went and got pregnant again herself. Proactive. Plus 17.

Kris: "We can have our own cuter version of Mason." Unlikely. He's a doll! Plus 6.

Momager Kris Jenner of all people makes the valid point that they shouldn't even think about this because don't even know where they're going to live. Plus 8.

Speaking of which: Kris really wants to settle in Minnesota, to which Kim replies, "How am I going to have my career and live in Minnesota?" Minus 25 for Kim being so shallow ... and Kris actually thinking this might happen in his lifetime.

Humphries' rationale on that front: "By the time you have kids and they're in school, no one will probably care about you, let's be honest." LOLOLOL. Plus 270.

Kris also made this point in the season premiere. Does he not realize that with Kim, this is like telling a girl she's fat or old? Either way, Plus 20 for going there.

Undeterred, Kris wants to have kids like right this minute. The bathtub did feature Kim Kardashian nude at this time, which likely had something to do with this reproductive urges ... and his decision to marry her in the first place. Still, bad call. Minus 2.

Kim doesn't want kids right away, after all. Shocker! Minus 60.

Kourtney and Kim Pic

She doesn't want to tell Kris, either, because it will hurt his ego. Telling E! cameras, then filing for divorce after two months? That's all good, though! Minus 300.

On the other side of the apartment the network forces them to live in together even though they're all rich, Kourt "finds" porn on Scott's computer. Minus 28.

"It's a very high-in-demand porn site," Scott says of the unnamed URL that features two guys tagging one girl at the time. "Everyone watches porn!" Plus only 10, because while sort of true, not everyone lets E! film it and/or gets caught.

Minus 6 for not watching the Kim-Ray J sex tape. That would've been choice.

"Maybe things have cooled down," Kourt admits. Eh, it is Scott Disick. Hard to imagine anyone could be hot for that douche for long. Time to break up! Plus 7.

Oops. Forgot about Mason. Too late now! Minus 15.

Scott and Kris totally bond over how the hell they got sucked into this insane family and unending reality show. Disick is obviously better able to cope. Plus 3.

Kourtney decides to let loose and fun, which entails pretending to flirt with a random girl in an attempt to spice things up, which annoys Scott, who clearly had other things in mind when he suggested a threesome, and viewers, who have to watch made-up nonsense for half the episode when all we really want to see is Kim and Kris implode. Minus 80.

EPISODE TOTAL: -196 . SEASON TOTAL: -406.

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Miley-fakes

go away u pigs - booeeerrrr(one can hear vomiting sounds)

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If you HATE the Kardashians you will LOVE the Award Winning Comedy Web Series "Keeping up with the KarTRASHians" watch all episode here: www.kartrashians.tv

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If you people commenting on here have nothing but bad things to say about Kim Kardashian & you ~don't like her~ or ~hate her~ or ~think she's fake~ then why are you watching her show? Then on top of that going on a website that talks about her show & talking bad about her. Get real! Sounds like a bunch of teenagers to me. Go get a life & look at yourself & your own life before you start judging other people. This is why year after year our world/nation gets meaner & ruder & more uncaring towards eachother. so much hate. Love & peace is the way to go. Be a better person & pass the influence of a better person. Usually people who talk bad about other people or hate or want to hurt people are usually wrestling with actually hating themselves. Figure it out & learn to get over past problems or whatever that is making you angry & find that love. This is the best advice anyone will ever hear. I guarantee it. Love not hate, pass it on!

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Scott Dissick is such a loser, he thinks he's Mr.GQ with his purple sweaters, yellow pants. He is a terrible person, father, mate, and human being. It isn't a weakness to be alcoholic, but it is a problem if you think you can "manage" a drink here and there because you have a certain amount of sobriety. Alcoholics should never drink a drop, and the fact that Kourtney is tolerating even one sip of anything alcoholic shows her total ignorance. If she really cares about Mason and herself as much as she claims, she'd put her foot down, and kick this loser to the curb. If he wants to see his son, stay sober, simple as that!!!!

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I'm surprised they didn't talk about the pregnancy before they got married. He hinted that they discussed each got 6 months to pick where they would reside. If that is true you would think she would have known Minnesota would be his choice. @ Jane Smith....you would need over a million signatures for them to even pay attention to that petition. It's more reality than anyone would like to admit. Who hasn't known someone who jumped into a marriage just to have things change? Granted it's done behind closed doors but divorce statistics are very high. You can hate her or him but this is very common. The only difference is you get to see the unraveling of a marriage on a tv show.

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wasn't she just in haiti volunteering? wasn't she at the l.a. food bank volunteering. what do you all do with your free time? if you're so "perfect" how the hell did you end up "reporting" on other people's lives?

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Kourtney and Kim Take New York Season 2 Episode 3 full video http://is.gd/SaqLww

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First Of All,The Kardashians Show Is NOT Scriptedd ! You Guys Are Just A Bunch Of #Haters ! Second Of All,Its Their Decisions ! &&' If You Guys Are Suchh Kardashian Haters,WHY ARE YOU WATCHING THE SHOW !??! Its Not That Hard To Chanqe The Channel ! You Guys Are Just Watchinq It To Hate On Them ! In The Meantime,While You Guys Are Bashinq Them On The Internet &&' Watchinq Their Show,THEY ARE MAKING MONEY &&' CELEBRITY OFF OF YOUR HATE YOU BONEHEADS ! So I Would Thinkk Twice About Doqqinq Celebrities Becuz Its Really Doinq Nothinq But Makinq Them More Known Than Before ! &&' Idqaf What Anybody Says:Im #TeamKardashian !

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Career? What career does this ho have? Exactly what does she do other than sashe around with the huge azz of hers! Is she calling that stuipd readlity tv show a career? Please, I'd rather watch the news!

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Tired of the Kardashians? Sign the petition at Boycottkim ((dotcom)) Over 230,000 signatures!

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