Jersey Shore Recap: Let's Get Bi-Curious!

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Is Deena Nicole Cortese actually bisexual, or just putting on a show for MTV cameras? Unclear. Did she just pull a robbery on Sitch and Vinny? Quite clear!

That was not a Jersey Shore plot line we saw coming. The exposing of Sitch and Snook's smush session and the Ron-Sam reconciliation, however, felt inevitable.

As always, we've recapped all the top Jersey Shore quotes and moments for you below. Let's break last night's episode, "Twinning," THG +/- style!

Deena Girl-on-Girl Action

Snooki wants to grab a glass of wine with Ron before GTL. Lush. Minus 4.

He plans to have "the conversation" with Sam soon, he says. We're already feeling a bit scared, emotionally drained, and excited for the fireworks. Plus 5.

Snook feels Luigi's "weiner" at the gym. He nods and laughs, since he doesn't understand. Or maybe he does, which would be even funnier. Plus 3.

Deena is gettin' some Lean Cuisine. NOTE: Not the frozen dinner. Minus 2.

Mike reminds Snooki he likes her "more than a friend" WHILE HE IS ON THE PHONE calling a chick to come over to bone. Absolutely no shame. Plus 4.

When the twins call after Sitch goes to sleep, Pauly and Ronnie tell them to come over in the a.m., then play it off like they're stalking Sitch. Minus 5, because that's just mean - he's never seen a sober girl in the daytime.

Pauly D and Vinny Love 

No romance on Jersey Shore can ever compare to this bromance. Plus 12.

Sam and Ron decide to get back together! They've changed!!! Oye. Minus 12.

Mike, upon the twins' return to the club the next night: "We have reached a new level of stalker. But the Situation adapts to all different situations." Read: I'm weirded out, but word, I could still be convinced to tap that. Plus 7.

"I wouldn't say I'm a lesbian, but I guess bi-curious. I don't think I'd ever date a girl because I love penis, but ... I have fun." - Deena. To avoid falling victim to a double standard, Plus 7 for being so out in the open and unabashed.

One of the twins climbs in bed with Sitch ... and then Vinny ... and then Deena! Three Jersey Shore stars, one night! Her parents must be so proud! Plus 14.

Sammi, Ronnie Photo

Ronnie and Sammi do seem happy ... for now. We're not optimistic, but Plus 5.

Not quite as happy? Sitch, when he finds out Ronnie just told the other girls about him confessing that he Snooki hooked up. Minus 4 for Ron breaking his trust, but Plus 8 because Mike should know better than to confide in him.

For his part, Ronnie doesn't seem broken up after snitching on a known snitch who's meddled with Ronnie's love life more than once in the past. Plus 6.

"You're a f*cking a**hole!" - Snooki. "Everybody knows the Situation isn't a liar." - Mike. Minus 7 for the lie and the third-person reference combined.

Snooki claims there was no hookup, that Mike merely made advances that she rebuffed. Minus 9, because we're not buying it. One, wasted Snooki can't be counted on to exert self-control. Two, why would Mike lie that he slept with his close friend? He's a sleaze, but too loyal to make up a sleazy lie for no reason.

The Situation, Twins

JWoww says Nicole loves Jionni and they should all move on. Snooki laments that Mike is a douchebag. Both true, but the fallout is still to come. Plus 4.

Single Ronnie had a good run, but one can only be the pimp daddy mac for so long. Now he's regular Ticking Time Bomb Relationship Ronnie. Wash.

The Situation gets angry with Ronnie for breaking his trust. Then ends up back in the sack with a topless blonde. All in a day's work for Mike. Plus 5.

It looks like in the previews for next week, there is a Pauly-Deena fight over c*ck-blocking. Plus 6, because Deena really is one of the guys, isn't she?

EPISODE TOTAL: +43. SEASON TOTAL: +80.

What do you think? Did Mike and Snooki hit it?

 

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i love everybody on this show but i really wish i was on this show becasue i will smushed vinny every day

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Hello, welcome to Denver jerks jk. everyone is lame on your shows

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Someone tell me whats wrong with this post. This dumb chick has nothing but cuss words, run on sentences and misspelled words. Instead of watching a show that is intended for adults why don't you pick up a book. Maybe even get some tutouring.... Guys here is the post.. Aly george August 19th, 2011 10:07 AM hey mike what about telling evryone that you and Snooki had sex. I don't fuckin believe that shit at all and im fuckin 12 years old bitch! so why don't you tell the truth about what really happened and do you guys really think that it is bad that Deena and that ugly bitch that she was making out with is disgusting because i think deena can do whatever she wants whenever she wants and why don't u guys stop saying stuff about sammi and ronnie cheating on each other and other fuckin shit and why don't u stop trying to make them break up!!!!!

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ifSammigetsdumpedagaintellherjustbuyavibrator

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Team Snooki!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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is deena turning into angelina?? Shes being slutty like her? I hope the rommates dont turn against her.

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Aly, if you are 12 years old, you shouldn't be watching this show (which is probably the reason you have a filthy mouth).

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are ronni nd sammie back tagether again???? after how many times

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they r all crazy.

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hey mike what about telling evryone that you and Snooki had sex. I don't fuckin believe that shit at all and im fuckin 12 years old bitch! so why don't you tell the truth about what really happened and do you guys really think that it is bad that Deena and that ugly bitch that she was making out with is disgusting because i think deena can do whatever she wants whenever she wants and why don't u guys stop saying stuff about sammi and ronnie cheating on each other and other fuckin shit and why don't u stop trying to make them break up!!!!!

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