Jersey Shore Recap: I'm the Pimp Daddy Mac of This Whole Place!

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Single Ronnie made a return to Jersey Shore last night, while Pauly and Deena channeled Season 3 Snooki and Vinny with their potential, awkward "romance."

As for Season 4 Snooki, she was having issues with Jionni, and guess who was there to help her through them? This Situation? Not a good situation.

The second episode of the season offered plenty of amusing Jersey Shore quotes, as always, but the major drama of the summer is still to come.

Let's break down the second episode of the summer, THG +/- style!

Pauly and Deena

Minus 5 for the immediate continuation of the "romantic" scene with Pauly and Deena that was in our heads for days after the Season 4 premiere.

Ronnie is on the phone with a girl. Not named Sam. Or his mom! Her name's Hannah, and she's been "helping him get through some stuff." Stuff, he says ... It has a name, you know. A nickname, even: S-W-E-E-T-H-E-A-R-T. Plus 7.

Deena takes a spill as they return home. So predictable. Minus 4.

Pauly totes pretends to be passed out so he doesn't have to hit it or be forced to express overtly that he doesn't wish to hit it. Classic move. Plus 8.

Sunday dinner time! That means a trip to the grocery store, where Deena is STUNNED nothing is in English. In a foreign country?!?! No way. Plus 5.

Jionni and Snooki fight over the phone after she doesn't call home for like six hours. Swooping in to console her? Mike and his HOT green pants! Minus 6.

Minus 2 more for Sitch's creepy knee stroking action.

Serious Male Bonding 

It wouldn't be Jersey Shore without some homoerotic male bonding, hot tub style. Plus 7, because the Vinny-Pauly bromance now includes Ronnie too.

Vinny also takes in a nice view from his bed. Plus 3.

Proving that she doesn't suck at every life skill, Snooki actually wasn't terrible when it came to pizza making at the gang's "workplace"! Plus 8.

JWoww's coffee, however? Minus 4. Still a net plus!

Dancing on bars and downing drinks, Single Ronnie - a.k.a. the Pimp Daddy Mac - is a sight to behold, especially when he does his trademark moves. Plus 10.

Deena tries to break up the inevitable spat between Sammi and Ronnie. You knew it was only a matter of time once the Daddy Mac came out. Minus 6.

Ron brags that he slept with four girls in three nights. Minus 11, because that's gross, we don't believe it, and he had toilet paper stuck to his face earlier.

Essentially a caricature of himself at this point - one simultaneously painful and hysterical to watch - Mike wines and dines a girl as only he can. Plus 9.

 Sitch and a Grenade

Snooki asks if she's prettier than The Situation's latest hook-up. Rule #1, Snook: Don't ask questions you don't really want to know the answers to. Minus 5.

If it's any consolation for Snook, Mike got it in and out of Britney from Florida before you can say ... something Italian. We're saying it's already over. Plus 8.

Minus 10 for us just saying "got it in" though. We just made ourselves cringe.

"Toodles, whore." - Snooki. Minus 2 for double standards and use of toodles.

Plus 4, one for each of Deena's tumbles this week, by our count. What a mess.

Has JWoww lost serious weight or is it just us? Minus 3, 'cause it looks like it.

The Situation tells Snooki that he has feelings for her. Specifically, "you're not just someone I can take home." Literally true. They live together as is! Plus 16.

"I care for you more than a friend... I've grown to love your personality" - Sitch. (!!!) Is he for real with this? Did it just get a little dusty in here? Wash.

Sammi tells Ronnie she's still in love with him. Here we go again. Minus 9.

"F**k me with a spiked bat." - Ron. Okay then. No thanks man. Minus 3.

EPISODE TOTAL: +15. SEASON TOTAL: +37.

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Looks like a funny show....I'll check it out.

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Chele: I am so happy you agree!
"If I had children and saw them behaving and looking like these people, I'd sell them on eBay or throw them out the window of a truck whilst speeding down a busy interstate"
Lol that cracked me up! No but seriously, how can they sleep in that. It is so disguisting! The worst part is, when they 'prank' each other by putting old cheese under their beds. WTF!! What human-being in its right mind would do that? Food?? I can smell it from here, the worst part is that they don't even clean the sh** up.
What REALLY bothers me, is that we aint even talking about kids, they are all twenty-something, Pauly D is freaking 30! (But he is not as disguisting as the others) How can they live like that!!! EW EW. BTW I am happy for your response, that makes me feel less of a clean-freak :D:D

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i love you.......

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So I think they are doing fine this season. I mean they are getting paid enough. Snooki looks great but Jwowws fake lips are awful. Makes me want to go to Italy.

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What is a "Pimp Daddy Mac," anyway? Is that a good thing or is it a bad thing? It sounds bad to me-- "pimp daddy"? Sounds really creepy.One shudders to think of the possibilities.

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Dear Satyark Gandhi, ommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Permit us now to conjure up a very large collective fart that shall ripple forever down our collective pantlegs!Best wishes to your Krishna, and ommmmmmmmmm.

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Would rather go into another room and slam my thumb in a drawer than watch this krap. Seriously, what a colossal waste of time.

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i loveee jersey shore! sammii is soo nicee and dosnt deseve what ron puts her throw! go get a nice man who shall treat u good.vinny and pauly ar so sweet,ron has a serious anger problem! id let ron run on wit who ever,her reliease some day!i think mike dosnt want anyone to b in a relationship..iloveee jerseyy shorreee....

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only sick ppl in tha house

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OMG! I love Jersey Shore, but seriously I can smell them from here! They need to take a bath more often, remove their f**** makeup before sleeping, wash the toilet every day, and clean up their shi* cause that is so disguisting!!!!! What a mess. How can human-beings live like that?? ANIMALS don't even live like that. They need to get CLEAN, get a bath and fix the oily hair. I love their personalities, the show is hilarious and the entertainment/drama is absolutely irrisistable. BUT sometimes they disgust me. Ew. Remember last season with the toilet full of sh**! EWWW. I could throw up. Come on, they need to do better. Stop the tanning, get a bath, remove old food from the kitchen, get some air-freshner and take care of the oily hair. AND deena pls, use some lipgloss instead of WHITE lipstick....