The Real Housewives of Miami Recap: Stick a Fork in Lea Black!

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After each episode ends on Tuesday nights, we vow never to watch these Miami broads again. And yet, here we are.

It's as if we're saying to Andy Cohen, "Show us how much worse it can get. We sit here week after week waiting for this show to measure up to the other franchises, and each time we're disappointed."

I believe this series isn't working because Miami does not appeal to the masses.

The Real Housewives formula is almost flawless. Almost. The production company must be careful to select a city based on what they believe their readers will enjoy.

Beverly Hills was an obvious choice (albeit a little late).

Naturally we adore (and most of the time loathe) our Orange County bimbos and we find the tri-state dopes challenging.

Atlanta and D.C. we could take or leave, but they're stronger than Miami. Bravo has tried to entice us before with shows like Miami Social and we were just bored.

Second time around ain't much better; the women are either vapid and childish, or obnoxiously self-righteous. The strange part is that most of the Housewives are like this, but we just can't seem to get along with the Miami chicks.

Is it because we can't relate? Or is it because they just bug us so much more than the other women? I still haven't found the answer, but I spend each Tuesday wondering why I don't jive with the cast of The Real Housewives Of Miami.

Larsa is becoming more and more unlikable. She tricked us into thinking she was down-to-earth in the premiere, but we quickly caught on after a few episodes.

Larsa is eternally 16 and acts like that awful "popular" girl from high school.

She's catty, vapid and insecure, and seeks out people with similar characteristics. Hence, her friendship with Cristy. Both are examples of women most of us avoid like the plague. Larsa spent a few minutes on camera last night bitching about nannies.

Her conversation was not only insulting, but it bordered on offensive at times. Here's a novel idea: raise your own kids. 

Lea Black Photo

Lea Black belongs in Palm Beach. Miami is too young for her and that cleavage.

She's loud-mouthed and a bit of a know-it-all, which makes her a perfect fit for the social set two hours north. Between the peanut gallery comments at Alexia's pig roast and the green card quips at dinner when Marysol announced her engagement to Phillipe, I knew it was time for the driver to swing round.

Stick a fork in Mrs. Black, 'cause she is done.

Marysol is growing on me. My television co-watcher commented that she's a bit like Adrienne Maloof in the sense that she is reserved and not nearly as ostentatious in personality as her cast mates. While her mother still frightens the daylights out of me, Elsa Patton has become a rather likable character.

I'm still on the fence about the ring.

Cristy received and paid the invoice Lea sent her for freeloading at the charity event, but not before telling her friend how rude it was.

Rude? What's rude is showing up at a charity that requires a donation, then telling the cameras that you did Lea a favor just by showing up.

You're not famous and you have no redeeming qualities of note. You might be a big shot in the Miami social circuit, but to the rest of us, you're just a stuck-up townie with an attitude problem. It's charity. Buy a ticket.

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These Miami women are the most stuck up bunch of bitches AT least with the other housewives they dont act like their S**t dont stink. Larsa Pippen and whats her name Rice think that they are gods gift...Just because you have money doesnt make you a good person!!!!!!Will NEVER EVER watch RHWM!!!

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Adrianna is a wack job, she is so annoying to me, she seems like a Gold digging attention Ho.... She really makes me not want to watch this show.

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It's not possible that anyone could like this show! Lea is so disgusting, she was a low life from Texas on a jury when she met her famous lawyer husband. Now she is a cackling low life Floridan! The only good about her is the money she raises for charity. The mere fact that she has anything to do with that classless Brazilian, Adriana shows you how disgusting she really is.Money doesn't buy class!!! Elsa is grotesque! it makes me sick to portray Miami this way. Miami still has Americans with class and reality!!!

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I don't know who wrote this article, but they are out of line. I like the Miami HW. AT least there was no table flipping, no sisters barking at one another and nonone buying $15,000. rings for a young woman. Ms. Black raised almost $3 miillion for her charity, compared to the 25 thousand raised on BH. Re-think your article and I don't think it is very nice to stick a fork in anyone PERIOD.

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I hate all the ladies except Alexia. I glad to see people are just as outraged as myself, with Larsa degrading foreign nannies as if she 100% American. She would have an accent too if she had lived in her homeland longer. I lost respect for Scottie Pippen after I saw the child he chose over millions of BLACK women. Loser!

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Larsa states, "I'm perfect"...well if you are SO perfect and don't have a job and have someone cleaning your house.....WHY CAN'T you raise your own kids? It's what REAL people do all the time.

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I love this franchise. Far better then Atlanta, OC or New Jersey. Of course no one can top Beverly Hills. I hate Cristy. Larsa has quite the ego. Lea is over the top and needs to stop acting like a momma hen. She was over the top calling Cristy a million dollar a night hooker but Cristy deserved it. My faves are Marysol her mom, Alexia and Adrianna! Go Miami!!! Elsa is a hoot and you have to loce the setting :)

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love all the other housewife shows, but this Miami group sucks big time. What a bunch of boring women, really they couldnt get anybody else to represent Miami !!! And does Lea have the hots for Adriana, it seems that why, she made such a big deal about her getting home at 2:00 in the morning. they all suck

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What?!! Why is everyone so down on Miami? I love these ladies! I find each of the Housewives franchises to be good in their own right. DC had the political thing going on, Atlanta had the black thing, New Jersey had that Jersey thing and I adored New York. Miami is Miami. In the end the are all a bunch of pumped up, catty, pampered (or pretending to be) women who are kind of nauseating. And it's the drama that keeps us coming back. We like the cattiness. We like the fights and the backstabbing. So stop comparing Miami to the OC - it is not. There would never be an Elsa Patton in the OC. RHOM is worth watching just for her!

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I am a Cuban-American woman who has lived in Miami all her life and my friends and I are nothing like these women. We're educated, speak perfect English, do charity work, make our own money (none of us is married to an NBA player or anything remotely like that). This is not a representation of Miami women any more than Teresa is a representation of all women in New jersey. This is taking the most extreme of the stereotype for entertainment. I doubt people would tune in to Bravo to see my friends and I shop at Target! You have no idea how painfull it is to watch - but we do - and we love it. And Elsa is popular because she is a living charicature, that's what makes good entertainment TV. (By the way, nice person who writes this blog, the word is "jibe" as in "I don't jibe with these women". "Jive" is a slang term for language or a certain behavior or swagger.)

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