THG Caption Contest: April 30

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Welcome, readers, to The Hollywood Gossip Caption Contest, where you all try to think and post the funniest caption(s) for the celebrity photo below!

Today's subject? The legendary Jessica Simpson on the talk show circuit. What could she and Ellen be saying / doing? What would make a great caption?

You tell us! Just click "Comments" and send in your caption(s) - as many as you like. We will announce the winner on Monday. Best of luck ... go to it:

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"Ellen, These products are amazing, not only can you stuff your bra with it to give you smothering cleavage, you can use it to wipe the plaque off your teeth so you will only have to brush every three days, like me!" *grins*

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Jessica: "IF YOU USE MY PRODUCTS, IT WILL TAKE USELESS BRAIN MATTER IN FILL UP YOUR BOOBS" Ellen: "FOR CLEVAGE LIKE THAT, ALL EAT THE WHOLE BASKET ! SO WHAT IF I WON'T BE ABLE TO SPELL BASKET "

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I will give you all of these if you stop staring at my boobs.

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Jessica: Sorry Ellen, if I am confusing you , but, "nowingsnow" and Nikki are one and the same person. She got so excited about my products she typed in the wrong name. Ellen: (Thinking to herself) Well I am happy someone is excited and impressed, because I am not!

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Jessica: Well Ellen, now that I have explained everything to you about what is in this basket, what do you think? Ellen: (Thinking to herself) I am thinking, this is not how Oprah stayed "number one" on tv for all these years, once she retires, I will definitely need better "topics" or I am history!!

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Ellen : "How much do they all cost?"
Jessica : "For now I gave you for free, next time you have to pay cash."

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Jessica: Now that I have explained everything to you, the person who wrote these captions below our picture is an out of work writer, who suffers from a speech impediment (stuttering) so she learned to survive the obstacles of life, by writing what she was unable to say. She must be truly amazing huh? Ellen: (Thinking to herself) She sure is, because speech impediment or not, she "read" me like a "book".

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Jessica: Ellen I can come by your house later and go into more detail about each product, is that okay to do?? Ellen, Ellen did you hear me? Ellen{ (Thinking to herself) No lady, you will never be seen coming out of my house, you are simply beautiful on the "inside" it is your "outside" that is scaring the hell out of me.

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Jessica: Ellen, I hope you appreciate this special basket of unique gifts, that will allow you to experience many days of romantic bliss. Ellen (thinking to herself) No, actually I am wondering, who on my staff had the pleasure of placing that "mic" on that "unique set" of gifts, that you are carrying.

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Jessica: Ellen, trust me, there is everything in this basket to provide you with weeks of fun and pleasure. Ellen: (thinking to herself) No , little chicken of the sea lady, you have everything in that "bra" to provide some lucky guy a "lifetime" of pleasure.