Jessica Simpson, The Price of Beauty Redefine Awful

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Jessica Simpson's career has hit a new low with The Price of Beauty, which premiered last night, and that is really saying something considering recent years.

The show, which chronicles Simpson and BFFs CaCee Cobb and Ken Paves traveling around learning what people consider beautiful, was worse than expected.

Jessica Simpson Covering Her Baby Bump

A lot worse. And again, that's saying something!

What resulted is boring at best, and embarrassing at worst, a pathetic display of rude Americans uncomfortable in foreign cultures and making tasteless jokes.

When Jessica Simpson burst out laughing while meditating with monks in a Buddhist temple, that about sums it up. Bad TV has pretty much been redefined.

This line was also indicative of the night: “I thought Thai massages had happy endings. I’m wondering where mine is.” Yep, Jess apparently wants a hand job.

That's half an hour of our lives we'll never get back.

Later, they meet the host of Thailand’s Next Top Model and visit an outdoor market where he insists they sample fried bugs. The Price of Beauty meets Survivor.

Then it was time for the "serious" portion of the program. Jessica, Ken and CaCee meet young women who lost all their facial skin when creams burned it off.

In Thai culture, lighter skin is considered a sign that you aren’t lower-class. Another tribe wraps rings around their necks to elongate them, signifying wealth.

There was probably a point to this in there somewhere, but if so, it was lost by the fact this show is hosted by Sexual Napalm, a.k.a. Jessica freaking Simpson.

The fact that she hosts a show about beauty standards around the world is absurd in itself, given what a shill she is for so many superficial cosmetic products.

Let's be clear, Jessica Simpson is no Heidi Montag. At the same time, is a girl famous only for looking like a stereotypical blonde pinup a positive role model?

Next thing you know, Tiger Woods will host The Price of Marriage.

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Jessica Simpson Biography

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Born
Birthplace
Abilene, Texas
Full Name
Jessica Ann Simpson

Jessica Simpson Quotes

They're just the cutest couple in the world. They are adorable. Anybody would wish to be them and you can only wish them well. Just being around them inspires love and everything I sing about.

Jessica Simpson [on her sister and Pete Wentz]

It’s fun to do a small film that might be released to DVD not because it’s a horrible film, but because it’s an independent film. For people to say Employee of the Month was a flop is ludicrous. We made the money back–that’s not a flop. For people to say The Dukes of Hazzard was a flop–it opened to $30 million! If these movies are flops, why would I still make them?

Jessica Simpson