Perez Hilton is the biggest name in celebrity gossip. Well, the biggest who makes a living writing about it. No one here will dispute his site's influence and popularity.

Still, his drive to bolster his own celebrity is out of hand.

Case in point: His new book, True Bloggywood Stories: The Glamorous Life of Beating, Cheating and Overdosing. Yes. The ultimate insider's guide to celeb gossip.

Yeah, right. It should be called True Stories of Sitting at My Laptop Drawing Semen and Penises on Celebrity Photos and Occasionally Getting My Ass Kicked.

That would be accurate, at least.

Below is the real cover for the book, which comes out Tuesday, though. We're guessing Carrie Prejean and will.i.am weren't asked to write the foreword ...

The teaser for the book says it's "raw and unprotected - Just like celebrity sex!" Classy. It also promises "revealing details most magazines wouldn't dare publish."

We find that a little hard to believe, since when he's not shilling for his own record label, Perez gets all his celebrity gossip from magazines and other websites.

All blogs do this, of course - find stories, report on them, link to sources. It's what they do. Most aren't self-obsessed idiots who claim to be all-knowing, though.

The success of Perez Hilton the site speaks for itself. But if you like it, you're better off just reading it online, rather than paying money for this crap in print.

That is, unless you need his "Steamy details on Twilight dating," "The Annual Perezzie Awards" or Perez's "Top Ten Hollywood Predictions." Then hop to it.