Heidi Montag (or Heidi Pratt, whatever you want to call the silicone spouse of Spencer Pratt) cannot sing. At all. She is terrible. But the Miss Universe pageant coordinators have nevertheless signed her up to perform live at Sunday night's event.

Here's The Hills star striking a fierce, sultry pose as she practices the choreography for what is sure to be an instant YouTube classic at an L.A. dance studio:

All the rehearsal in the world won't give Heidi Montag any talent.

When the dust settles Sunday night, a new Miss Universe will be crowned and Spencer Pratt will be issuing press releases (probably while posing for pictures with the Heidi Montag nude Playboy issue in hand) about his primarily plastic bride.

We can't wait. It's what Jesus would want after all, for her to share her "God-given gifts" with the masses. Click to enlarge more photos of Heidi rehearsing ...

[Photo Credits: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]