Somebody needs to hold an intervention.

The good news, we suppose, is that Kevin Federline is eating well on the $20-$40K per month Britney Spears gives him to watch sons Sean and Jayden.

The Bank of Britney Spears is recession-proof, too, so nobody's gonna starve. Steaks for all, from now until the Circus star loses her popularity (never).

The bad news? He's probably not going to make it to age 50 at this rate. Heck, he had a life expectancy of 55 before this recent absurd weight gain.

Seriously. The pregnant man was slimmer than K-Fed, who is now sporting two chins and counting. Check out the FedEx man's obesity in action ...

Kevin Federline has to be tipping the scales at a deuce and a half at least.

Victoria Prince, it's time you step in and help this man. You are a former athlete. Encourage him to eat a salad or go for a jog once every few years.