Kevin Federline Will Die

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In 26 years, that is. 2032, baby. Mark your calendars!

At least that's the assessment of the wannabe music critics and comedians at Blender magazine. In its October issue, the terrible publication estimates when "your favorite pop star" will kick the proverbial bucket.

31 and Proud

Taking into account Mr. Britney Spears' age, height, smoking habit, alleged love of alcohol, weed and reported foot odor, Federline is predicted to buy the proverbial farm at 55.

There's also the risk that scorned former lover Shar Jackson, twice K-Fed's baby's mama herself, will cap his ass.

Gerontologist Dr. Demko writes in the issue:

"Kevin Federline will also need the common sense to ditch smoking, booze and drugs, which will give him 16 more years to enjoy Britney's money and watch his four (and counting) kids grow up."

Or he can step up those bad habits and die sooner! That would be awesome -- we really don't feel like writing about this dude for 26 more years. Just kidding. It's fun. And we wouldn't really wish death on K-Fed.

His music career, however? Or Paris Hilton? That's a completely different ball game.

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Kevin Federline Biography

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Born
Birthplace
Fresno, California
Full Name
Kevin Earl Federline