Meghan Markle's terrible family is at it again.
First, Samantha Grant was roasting Meghan and Harry's Christmas card. Such a class act.
Now, Thomas Markle is whining about being "ghosted" by Meghan -- and begging the Queen to intercede. Watch:
Thomas Markle appeared on Good Morning Britain, presumably so that he and Piers Morgan could have a which-of-us-is-worse contest.
"I have been ghosted," Thomas laments with the most hilarious-yet-accurate phrasing he could have possibly found.
"I am very disappointed by it," he announces.
Continuing, Thomas expresses bewilderment: "I am not sure why it is happening."
Imagine seeing a sunburnt guy laying out in the sun, wondering why he keeps getting sunburns.
It's because of what you're doing right now, idiot.
"I [have] been reaching out," Thomas claims.
"I have been trying to reach out for several weeks," Thomas reports.
"Every day [I] send a text," he says. "I just haven't got anything back."
There is a more than decent chance that whatever number he's contacting isn't being seen by Meghan, at Meghan's own request.
"I just keep asking for her to respond back to me," Thomas whines. "And I haven't got any response back."
"I have sent letters," he adds.
What's next? Messenger pigeons? Telegrams? Skywriting?
In addition to appearing baffled as to why his total inability to shut up has caused his daughter to ghost him, Thomas says he wants in.
"There has to be a place for me," Thomas imagines.
He wants to be in Meghan's life, even though every one of his actions says otherwise.
Thomas apparently thinks that their familial relation should somehow excuse his behavior, saying: "I'm her father."
He wants to be involved with future generations of the family, too.
"I will be the grandfather to the children," Thomas points out.
Biologically, he will be their grandfather. Socially? Not if he keeps giving interviews and blabbing to anyone who will listen.
"All I can say is that I'm here," Thomas says.
"She knows it," he continues. "And I've reached out to her."
In the past, he tried passing off a letter on Doria Ragland, Meghan's mother, to give to Meghan.
These days, it looks like Doria isn't taking his calls, either.
Thomas says that he's hurt "and I need her to reach back to me."
"I love her very much," Thomas claims.
At one point in the long, long interview -- of which we have only included several minutes, for your sakes -- he addresses Meghan directly.
"I love you very much, you're my daughter and I'd really like to hear from you,” Thomas pleads.
“Whatever differences or problems we have," he argues. "We should be able to work them out."
"We're family," he says. "Please reach out to me."
He asks for help from more than just Meghan, however.
Hilariously, Thomas even tries to address the Queen herself to intercede on this matter.
"I would think that she would want to resolve family problems,” Thomas says. “All families, royal or otherwise, are the same."
They're really not.
"And," Thomas argues. "They should all be together certainly around the holidays."
It is when addressing the Queen that Thomas shows his true colors.
Implied in his words is the promise that, if Meghan is simply forced to yield to his demands and give him whatever access he wants, he'll hush.
That would be a welcome break from the scandal that his constant whining causes.