Yes, okay?!? Can we put this to bed (no pun intended) already?
Porsha Williams has finally come out and said yes… she did it.
By which we mean the following:
Yes, Porsha Williams did him.
Over the past several days, the Internet has been buzzing about the events depicted at Cynthia Bailey’s bachelorette party, which was the main focus of The Real Housewives of Atlanta this week.
Because the ladies of the ATL got together after months of isolation and partied it up with a stripper named Bolo.
Kandi Burruss had been hyping up this bachelorette bash to the point where it was bound to fall short of expectations.
But no, it exceeded them.
What do you expect from a woman who proudly maintains her own sex dungeon. Bring your A Game or nothing, baby.
The first 20 minutes of this week’s installment were as risque as anything to ever air on Bravo – which is saying a lot.
And then there was what the cameras didn’t show! The warm-up act we saw paled in comparison to the after-party.
Some time after midnight, the cast sent the crew home and taped off the remaining cameras in their rental house.
And that’s exactly what has everyone buzzing.
Kenya Moore has claimed that Porsha Williams slept with Bolo the morning after this party, hilariously alleging on air:
"When I tell you it was a certified freak-hoe show, I heard someone saying, ‘F–k me harder. F— this p—y harder.’"
Supposedly, Bolo obliged.
Kenya went on a weird detective mission, as if bedding Bolo were some kind of scandalous thing (unless one is married, of course, which Porsha is not), trying to find out who was moaning at 6 a.m.
Porsha confessed that well, like all of us, she just wanted to see what the stripper was packing in his pants, acting all hot and bothered that Moore dared to assert she went to bed with Bolo.
Except, well… she totally went to bed with Bolo!
In a midseason trailer, first published by E! News, Kandi Burruss reads about this scandal on celebrity gossip website Page Six.
This prompts the topic to get brought up again, with Williams finally exploding at Moore at a dinner and shouting out the truth:
"I f–ked Bolo!" she yells mid-confrontation with Kenya.
"I f–ked everybody!"
Is this really an admission, though? Or more of a defiant mockery of all the speculation out there about her this week?
Because there’s been a lot.
From there, the drama and emotions only get heightened as we get various looks at Porsha squaring off against Marlo Hampton.
Marlo, of course, did a complete 180 and went from Kenya’s mortal enemy to her best friend over the course of one conversation.
There’s also talk about Kandi’s pregnancy… Drew Sidora’s family troubles … and LaToya Ali getting accused of "f–king a pastor."
The latter remark results in what is certaiin to be one of the most memorable Real Housewives quotes of all-time:
"You weren’t looking for God, you were looking for some dick."
Well…. okay then!
Let’s just say that this season of the flagship franchise has put all doubts to rest about the show being past its proverbial prime.
We’re just hoping there’s no repeat of the reunion in which Porsha beat the ish out of Kenya and nearly got thrown off the series.
On the more comedic side, there’s also Halloween fun and a cast trip to New Orleans that promises to be uproarious.
The Real Housewives of Atlanta airs Sundays at 8/7c. on Bravo. Buckle your seatbelts, because it’s about to go down.