We have all heard the reports that, allegedly, Brandi Glanville boned Denise Richards at one point before their falling out.
In this post, you can watch that teaser for yourself as Denise’s denials trail off into tears and she ghosts her castmates.
Brandi Glanville returns in the midseason supertease of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.
She and her friend Denise Richards are having a huge falling out that drives a wedge between Denise and the show.
According to Brandi, Denise wasn’t the only one who could announce "I am f–king Denise Richards!" as she did earlier this season.
And she wasn’t talking about Denise’s husband, Aaron Phypers.
We’ve all read the reports about how Denise allegedly stormed off of the set after news broke about her alleged fling with Brandi Glanville.
Some reports called it a "lesbian affair," but since neither woman identifies as a lesbian, that’s not really accurate.
They don’t need to take on new identity labels if they don’t want to, but the story is that they hooked up — possibly more than once.
But now, we’re hearing Brandi tell the Housewives what went down (phrasing) in her own words.
"Denise and Aaron have this whole open thing," Brandi claims to the other ladies at the table.
This conversation takes place before Denise arrives, and it is not entirely clear what gets the ball rolling on this conversation.
Entertainingly, some of her castmates are staring blankly at the table as they listen, signaling their discomfort with hearing Denise’s life exposed.
It’s the sort of face that retail workers make when a customer tells them unsolicited personal information about how an angel saved their life or whatever.
We see Brandi playfully slap Denise’s butt, in close proximity to Aaron.
Denise replies by saying "Brandi," though without context we cannot tell if she was being playful back or genuinely asking her to not do so.
(Plenty of friends consensually pop each other on the butt regardless of sexual orientation or gender or relationship status)
But what Brandi tells the ladies next is a little less innocuous.
"I f–ked her," Brandi says of Denise, speaking very clearly.
She then describes how she "woke up the next morning."
That, Brandi says, is when "she said ‘Aaron can never know this.’"
It is unclear if some of the audio was cut and spliced together — the episode itself may make things more clear.
Brandi’s shift in tone seems indicative that sentences may have been merged for the teaser.
But more worrisome is that Brandi says that Denise told her that if her husband learned of their alleged boning, "he’ll kill me."
Now, Kyle opens her jaw in surprise and that is an alarming phrase.
It could be just a saying, but after fans heard Aaron appear to threaten to hurt Denise by crushing her hand, viewers are worried.
"What the f–k?!" Denise is then seen exclaiming, her eyes watery with tears.
Everyone else looks on uncomfortably, as one might when a woman discusses an alleged affair.
Frankly, people are also going to feel uncomfortable when two friends accuse each other of lying — especially about sex.
"That is not true!" Denise insists, presumably speaking of Brandi’s affair claims.
You can tell that there is a real urgency to her words.
Generally, people who hear that someone claimed that they slept together just laugh off the allegations.
That Denise gets so tearful and upset doesn’t necessarily mean that she’s lying and upset that her affair was exposed, however.
Ultimately, her tears mean that she’s upset, but don’t tell us what is making this particular claim so emotional for her.
Clearly, however, something is up.
We then see Garcelle Beauvais speaking to Kyle and others.
She is asking where Denise is, because they were supposed to meet up and she seems to have ghosted.
The other Housewives, either in context or because the show is supported by pillars of drama, are visibly worried.
Dorit seems to be almost trembling as she presumably tries to contact Denise.
(Real talk, between mixing audio and cutting between scenes, it’s almost impossible to confidently identify any scene’s context)
Still, the vibe is definitely that the other Housewives are baffled and confused as well as concerned that Denise is a no-show.
We then see a new scene with absolutely zero context.
Here, Garcelle tells Lisa Rinna "you are the villain of this movie."
The implication is that this is part of Denise’s drama, but exactly what has caused Garcelle to accuse her of villainy is unclear.
Lisa and Denise have been friends for decades.
We can also see that she does not like hearing that she’s the bad guy … but maybe we’re just reading into it.
We somehow doubt that Garcelle and Lisa were going over scripts together and that Garcelle was describing her upcoming role.
Meanwhile, back with Denise’s drama, she demands that they stop filming.
Denise holds up her hand like she’s trying to get a robot on Westworld to stop talking.
She then verbally begs Bravo to not use this footage.
In fact, she may be begging editors and producers to not use this storyline at all, cutting footage that did not even feature her. Fat chance.
Denise walks away, giving Bravo an ultimatum — that they can keep Denise or keep this footage, but not both.
That’s … not really how being a Real Housewife works.
If you want one important topic excluded from the show, put that in your contract at the beginning of the season.
Otherwise, you’re a public figure and a reality star — your business being aired kind of goes with the territory.
Then, at the end, we see an ominous scene that we cannot quite explain.
Lisa suggests that this situation is a "lesson learned."
In an intense, meaningful tone, Denise replies "Oh, I’ve learned a lesson."
What does it all mean? We’ll have to wait and find out.