Botched is honestly an amazing program. It's usually either a story about a deranged doctor or a patient who has some serious issues (Remember the guy whose nose could come off?). But sometimes there are problems that no surgeon can fix.
Sometimes, though, people have issues extending far beyond whatever drives them to get inadvisable cosmetic procedures, and beyond whatever went wrong with those procedures.
Like this woman in the video below, named Tiffany, whose obsession with Donald Trump and his family led her to get 13 surgeries in a single year to look like Trump's ideal woman: Ivanka.
Well, in an attempt to look like her.
You would never mistake one for the other.
The woman's name is Tiffany, and it is very difficult to imagine someone mistaking her for Ivanka Trump.
Tiffany says that she has had thirteen procedures during the past year in an effort to forge herself into the First Daughter.
Excuse us -- in an effort to architect herself into the First Daughter.
That's the way that the real Ivanka talks.
As you'll see in the clip below, the doctors are super alarmed to hear about this.
Tiffany does explain that she was only put under three times (she illustrates this by holding up three fingers, which is weird and we'll talk about that in a moment).
The doctors discuss how it's possible to have multiple small procedures during one session of general anesthesia, which is clearly what Tiffany has done.
They ask what brought this on, and she mentions that she started getting the surgeries about four months after her ten year marriage ended.
As the doctors explain, it's not uncommon for people to have what are essentially rebound surgeries, though they don't quite phrase it that way.
We think that this woman has more issues than just getting over her marriage, though.
Tiffany says that she is completely "committed" to looking like Ivanka Trump, though they don't discuss that in the video.
With technology where it is now, that is just not a realistic expectation.
Just a reminder, folks, this is what the real Ivanka looks like:
It's funny that this woman's name is Tiffany, because Trump actually has another daughter who is named Tiffany.
If you forgot, don't worry -- Trump forgets, too.
By the way, this woman's issues clearly go beyond cosmetic procedures and also well beyond her adoration for Trump.
In this super cutesy way, she holds up three fingers -- like a child or maybe a girl from an anime.
Her mannerisms and the way that she very deliberately blinks to look "cute" speaks to some serious maturity issues.
This woman was married for a decade.
We don't know Tiffany's age but, even if she got married in high school, she's at least old enough now to rent a car (25 years old, folks).
She's probably well into her thirties.
This is not ... becoming on her.
To be clear, not everyone who's a fan of Trump is as completely whackadoodle as this woman.
Similarly, not everyone who supports Trump is a Nazi or white nationalist like those who rallied in Charlottesville over the weekend.
Admittedly, Trump's remaining supporters are willing to overlook a great deal of racism and sexism and inconsistent messaging and a whole host of other things that horrify most of the country, but that's another story.
And, hey, at least Steve Bannon's been booted from the White House.
That probably won't change anything significantly, but let's enjoy that nice feeling until the next disaster strikes.
But, though this footage was surely captured months ago, Tiffany is probably still 100% on Trump's side.
In this video, you'll see those strikingly immature mannerisms that we talked about.
Her style seems like something that someone would wear as a Halloween costume to portray Ivanka, but it doesn't feel like what Ivanka would have worn if she'd been going on Botched for whatever reason.
(Maybe to get a chin since her father deprived her and her siblings of one -- sorry)
But let's not talk to Tiffany about Ivanka's feature or she might try to get more procedures after she gets whatever she wanted fixed, fixed.