On 90 Day Fiance Season 9, Episode 11, more couples were hurtling towards the altar.
Patrick and Thais’ romantic trip takes a downward turn when she tries to go for a surprise wedding.
Then, Ariela’s bestie Leandro — who is also her ex-husband — shows up to join her and Biniyam for a celebration.
Bilal and Shaeeda have to recover from the ferris wheel prenup debacle, and it’s her turn to surprise him.
Then, Emily and Kobe are finally getting things on track with a new bed and a (second) ring.
Jibri has expressed a lot of doubts and hesitation, so his family sits down with him and Miona to have a talk.
Crushing family news reminds Guillermo of the grim reality of being an immigrant, while Kara can only offer him emotional support.
Finally, the gulf between Yvette and Mohamed widens as he calls her a bad influence. He insists that he would raise his child in his faith, with no other choices.
Patrick Mendes and Thais Ramone
Things have been a little tense, so Patrick has plans to reignite the spark of their romance away from John and from the featureless, colorless house in Dallas.
Let’s go to Vegas … tomorrow!
Patrick opts to take Thais to Las Vegas. It’s very spontaneous, which may in part explain Thais’ odd assumption later in the episode. It’s also where Patrick’s family moved while he was growing up, and where his brother and his brother’s husband live now. Notably, Patrick alluded to this move earlier in the season, while explaining why he does not have the same very thick Massachusetts accent that John has.
Thais is excited
It is always interesting to see what the non-American partner on this show thinks about different things in America. Many Americans think of Las Vegas as a giant, horny mall located in the middle of a scorching desert — and that includes what fans would say. To Thais, though, the city seems “beautiful” and “fancy.” Fascinating.
Seeing is believing
Thais seems just as enamored while visiting Vegas, so this isn’t one of those moments of disappointment that we so often see on this show. Thais is over the moon.
The trip starts off very well
If Patrick’s hope was to send sparks flying away from his brother, then everything is going according to plan.
Thais meets Matthew and Carlos
Matthew is Patrick’s younger brother. Growing up in extreme poverty meant that he and John and Matthew shared a single bedroom for many years of their childhood. It’s important to him that Thais like Matthew, and she does. Carlos doesn’t say much (or doesn’t say much that editors thought was important), but Thais was happy to meet them both.
Whoops!
Thais hadn’t intended to let this slip, but she casually reveals that her father does not know that she’s planning to marry Patrick on this trip. Remember, her dad thinks that American men just want to use and discard Brazilian women, but she has made sure that Patrick won’t realize that her dad doesn’t like him.
Clearly, Patrick is disturbed by this
So far, this is the one thing that Thais has not been honest about. She’s reluctant to tell Patrick that her dad doesn’t like or trust him, and instead frames this as simply him being overprotective, which is partially true. Meanwhile, it’s clear that Patrick is one of those people who puts so much value in his own family bonds that he has trouble understanding other people’s family relationships.
She HAS to tell her dad
Patrick straight-up tells her that he’s not marrying her before her dad knows, which she had revealed was her plan — to simply tell him after. Thais knows that he won’t give her his blessing, but Patrick clearly doesn’t understand her reluctance and may be taking it personally.
Thais does call her dad
However, she just shows him where she is — leading him to respond with contempt, it seems — without revealing her wedding plans with Patrick.
Thais hatches a plan
She would like to marry Patrick here and now. Clearly, there is a cultural misunderstanding, where Thais is imagining that Vegas weddings are glamorous or “fancy” instead of … well, strongly associated with impulsive decisions.
Surprise wedding!
Thais and Patrick go to a “mystery” location that turns out to be a wedding chapel, and she wants him to marry her on the spot. This, she thinks, is the key to making everyone happy.
“This is crazy”
In Thais’ mind, this would be a grand, romantic gesture, but Patrick’s intense discomfort is plainly visible in his eyes. He explains to her that he dreams of having a real wedding with her. He also says that this is “how you marry a stripper,” which is not a particularly nice thing to say about strippers, even if we understand his meaning. Thais doesn’t get it, and clearly feels rejected. Deep down, this is more of a cultural misunderstanding than anything else.
Ariela Weinberg and Biniyam Shibre
Ari meets up with Leandro, who viewers met last year while watching The Other Way. He is from Argentina, and he and Ari were married for a decade. They didn’t grow to hate each other, but their lives took them in different directions. They’ve both moved on since divorcing, but Bini — like a certain segment of viewers — doesn’t trust him, and resents his relationship with Ari. Maybe this is fair, maybe this is a case of a serial cheater assuming that everyone else will also cheat.
Insecurity shows up in funny ways
Biniyam has opted to be overly friendly but also very affectionate with Ariela during this lunchtime meet-up with Leandro. Ari is just behaving normally — well, normally for her.
Ari does neg Leandro a bit while praising Bini
While describing Biniyam’s MMA fight, she refers to when Bini also put Leandro in a chokehold back in Ethiopia. Not Leandro’s most dignified moment.
Not even that settles Bini’s nerves
Apparently, Ariela moving to Ethiopia, giving birth there, and now bringing Bini to the US still isn’t enough to earn his trust.
Also, it’s time to celebrate the Ethiopian New Year!
This is apparently a religious celebration in Bini’s culture, involving holy water (a lot of that seems to come up). and due to the lunar calendar involved, takes place in September. Ari’s family will be partaking, and Leandro — who spent a decade as part of the family — is also invited.
The food looks amazing
Biniyam explains that there is an Ethiopian tradition of feeding one another as a sign of respect. Bini makes a big show of feeding Leandro a too-large bite.
But Leandro will be going with the family to help Ariela prepare for her wedding
This means being there to support her while she tries on dresses, as tradition holds that the groom cannot be there. Biniyam seems unfamiliar with this, and he is feeling insecure about it.
Bilal Hazziez and Shaeeda Sween
After Bilal blindsided Shaeeda with prenup documents while she was already dizzy and nauseated from the height of the ferris wheel, the day did not magically improve. The ride home — returning to Bilal’s sister’s house, as they’re still in Atlantis — is deeply awkward.
Nefertari reveals that she’s designing Shaeeda’s wedding dress
After so many dresses were almost-but-not-quite-right, she figured that a custom order would be best. Meanwhile, she asks Bilal how things are.
Things are not great, actually
Even after hearing Bilal’s version, where showing Shaeeda the surprise prenup was really a favor to her, Nefertari acknowledges that this was the wrong way to do it.
Time to talk to the birdies
Shaeeda’s sisters, Sajdah, Baiyina, and Judi, speak to her in a group video chat. Prenups are more common in the US than in some other countries, but there is also an added layer of complication when it comes to international marriages. Shaeeda’s sisters note that he may see her as coming after his wealth — especially since he did not have a prenup in his previous marriage.
They have a suggestion
Prenups are supposed to be a two-way street. Since Bilal has been so dodgy and evasive about plans to have kids, she should include a plan to have kids in their agreement. For example, having kids by the time that she’s 40.
Meanwhile …
Downstairs, Bilal is saying that marriage is about love and a relationship, but it’s also a business decision because of the finances involved. Yeah, we guess? He is very clearly afraid that Shaeeda will leave him, as others he has loved have.
Then, time for a surprise
Shaeeda speaks to Bilal as they are packing up to leave Atlanta. She’d like for his attorney to add a component to the prenup — a provision that they will have kids by the time that she is 40. Bilal is visibly taken aback and just … super evasive, which seems to be how he responds to surprises.
Naturally, she’s not getting any answers now
Instead, Bilal just scolds her for zipping one of their travel bags too sharply, and they leave. Nefertari hopes that the two of them can get along, but her hopes for them are not enough on their own.
Emily Bieberly and Kobe Blaise
Emily and Kobe are going mattress shopping. A new bed is an expensive purchase, and Emily is the only one of them who is currently working, but they’ve decided that it’s worth buying a bed that can fit their family. Kobe is eager to, um, try out these mattresses.
But that’s not all …
Secretly, Kobe has sought out the help of Emily’s family to pick out an engagement ring for her. He only has about $4,000 to his name. Kobe also doesn’t know anything about rings. But, her father David and her sister Madeline are there to help him.
It’s a big purchase
David has previously expressed his anxieties about Emily and Kobe’s economic future, but he’s supporting his future son-in-law anyway.
Kobe can’t believe the prices
Seeing a $7,000 ring takes a moment for him to process. In his home, Cameroon, that kind of money could let someone buy some land and start a business — potentially transform their life. In the US, it’s less than just about anyone pays in rent for a year.
Finally, Kobe makes his selection
The ring, modeled by the lovely Madeline, is about $1,500, but he is offered a discount that shaves hundreds of dollars off of the price.
Romantic date night
Later, we see Kobe and Emily on a sushi date. They are both overflowing with affection. It’s sweet.
Surprise!
Kobe managed to pull off a major surprise, slipping the ring into the champagne (thank you, wait staff) for Emily to find.
“Will you marry me?”
Kobe proposed to Emily in China, two years ago. But this time, he has a real ring.
Beautiful!
Emily knew that Kobe didn’t know much about rings, and she also was uncertain about putting pressure on him. But he did a fantastic job — with a little help from her family.
Way to set the mood!
What better way to end a happy date night? Sadly … it was not to be.
Back home …
Emily was surprised, but her entire family was in on it. At home, they were waiting with champagne. Emily showed off her ring to everyone.
But Emily has a confession
See, she had bought a contingency ring, just in case. Sooner or later, she’d need to tell Kobe before he saw these episodes. Unfortunately, she chose tonight to tell him.
Alright, I’m out
Unwilling to even open the box and look at Emily’s ring, Kobe — who clearly has hurt feelings — excuses himself to go to bed. Presumably, this means his own bed. Ouch.
Jibri Bell and Miona Bell
Jibri’s awesome grandmother, Cheyne, is joining the family for dinner. She’s hoping that she can be a calming presence for her grandson as
Miona wants a man who’s sure of her
She thinks that Jibri is acting weird, and that it’s because he’s listening to other people. That means Daveed, but also his family.
Is this snitching?
Jibri has told Mahala that he is not onboard with the beach wedding that Miona wants. He has also admitted that he wouldn’t marry within these 90 days if the visa deadline weren’t approaching.
Yeah
Jibri admits that this is stressful. He also acknowledges that his parents, Mahala and Brian, just want to prevent him and Miona from getting hurt.
Miona points out that they’ve overcome a lot
Most couples don’t have to deal with the realities of international romance. She thinks that they’ve dealt with more than most people, which goes to show how solid their relationship is — despite the obstacles.
Also, they love each other
Yes, they have disagreements. Yes, they are grappling with various challenges. But they’re not miserable, and being together is worth it.
Does Jibri feel pressured?
This is something that Jibri has expressed to his parents, noting that she said that she would leave him if they don’t get married — because she can’t wait forever. But apparently it’s the first that Miona is hearing of it.
Yikes, Jibri
Jibri starts listing Miona’s faults, as apparently her desire to be with him and her being “picky” about her wedding makes her “like an entitled Millennial.” That kind of dismissive insult usually comes from old rich people complaining about people wanting human rights and living wages. Has any decent person ever used the phrase? Regardless, that is weird talk coming from a Millennial. Jibri is one.
That’s too much
Mahala sets a boundary — she wants Jibri and Miona to be able to express themselves, but draws the line at sitting there while Jibri insults his fiancee. That is a very reasonable rule to make. Meanwhile, Miona sits there and resists the urge to cry.
Kara Bass and Guillermo Rojer
Guillermo’s mother is in Venezuela. He has two brothers in the Dominican Republic. One of those brothers, Jose Joaquin, has been very ill for some time.
If you’ll recall …
He was too ill to film with Guillermo, Kara, their friend, and Guillermo’s other brother when Kara flew down to the DR earlier this season. Jose Joaquin has been in renal failure for some time.
Guillermo can’t visit him
The K-1 visa means that he can’t travel. It will be many months before he is able to do that. All that he can do is turn to Kara for comfort. While this season’s narrative has tried to paint Kara as a villain here and there, she is truly not living up to the role. She is Guillermo’s solace in this dark time.
Unfortunately, the news gets worse
When we next see Kara and Guillermo, they received a call at 4AM. Jose Joaquin had been improving, but he has now passed away.
It at least comforts Guillermo that Jose Joaquin gave this romance his blessing
It really highlights that it’s not just the comforts of home that people give up when they move to another country. They can miss the passing of loved ones.
Yvette Arellano and Mohamed Abdelhamed
The two go to the gym to work out, giving Mohamed a chance to remind viewers of why Yve puts up with him — those arms and tiddies are on display. At first, their banter is pretty cute. Then, they bring up a serious topic: having a kid.
Yve says that Mohamed would make a good dad
Meanwhile, he knows that Yvette is unlikely to conceive, but says that this is fine — either way.
If they do have a kid …
Mohamed is not the first parent to loudly and proudly declare that they will raise their child in their faith, without giving them a choice. This is also not exclusive (or universal) to Islam. But Mohamed is in an interfaith relationship.
Hang on a second …
Yve brings up that she’s not a Muslim (reminding him, since he needs reminding, that she has no plans to convert), so what if their hypothetical child is more interested in her spiritual beliefs than in his faith?
To Mohamed, there’s no question
He can’t control an adult child, but apparently plans to give his kid no choice in the matter until adulthood.
It gets worse
He doesn’t want Yvette to “confuse” such a hypothetical child with these pesky “other ideas,” even though Yve would also be the child’s parent.
End of discussion?
Like we said, Mohamed is not unique in this very toxic and controlling mindset. Peopel of many faiths — or of none — are sometimes determined that their child will share their beliefs no matter what. One wonders what the value can be in having a belief that you did not choose for yourself.
DUDE
Mohamed very directly tells the camera that letting Yvette raise a child would lead to (gasp!) someone who grows up to date and maybe even drink. If you think that the implications of that — both in terms of control of a future child and how he views Yve — are bad, well, it gets worse.
He thinks that she’s a bad influence
One has to wonder why he would be with a woman who he thinks is so wicked and wrongheaded that she cannot be trusted to raise her own child. What do they even have in common?
Yikes
Saying that someone has “too much freedom” is seldom good. It is considerably worse in the context of openly judging and condemning your fiancee.
By the way?
Mohamed says that if he couldn’t raise a child to be Muslim, if his child were for whatever reason not of his faith, he’d rather not have one.
Yvette wants her child to have choices
Calling this an unrealistic “perspective,” Yve expresses shock … but for some reason is still with him. Girl, we can all see his shoulders in that gym outfit, but it takes more than a hot bod to make a good partner.