Taylor Swift: Who Should She Date Next?
by Hilton Hater at .It's depressing, but true:
Taylor Swift and Calvin Harris broke up in the late spring of 2016.
We really thought these two would make it, having dated for 15 blissful months before the DJ pulled the romantic plug.
Alas, another Taylor Swift relationship has fizzled out before our sad eyes.
But dry those tears, Swifites! We have some ideas on who Taylor should date next, as we refuse to give up hope that the superstar can someday find her One and Only...
1. Nick Jonas
He's the right age. He can relate to her job. He's dated his fair share of celebrities. And Swift could do A LOT worse than those abs!
2. Karlie Kloss
She's already close to Swift. The two already get along very well. Perhaps it's time for Taylor to try a member of her own team, considering how opposing team members have treated her.
3. Ben Affleck
Might an older suitor be more appropriate? Someone more mature? Someone who has already done battle with Superman and who, therefore, could handle pretty much anything Swift throws his way?
4. Tyga
What? They are both musicians! Common ground, people.
5. Sergey Brin
The co-founder of Google got divorced in 2015. If Swift ever wants to settle down and start a family, she'd never need to worry about money ever again with Brin.
6. Kit Harrington
We're pretty sure he isn't dating Rose Leslie any longer. He's very easy on the eyes and Swift could pump him... sexually. And also for so many Game of Thrones spoilers!
7. Prince Harry
Together, they could rule the world. We mean this almost literally.
8. John Boyega
New to fame, following his turn in Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Swift could jump on a rising star before he takes off. Sexually, we mean.
9. Andrew Garfield
Andrew Garfield is awesome! He's over his relationship with Emma Stone and, we hear, open to dating another celebrity. Calvin Harris proved that Swift does have at least some luck with non-U.S citizens.
10. Johnny Depp
He's single now, following Amber Heard's decision to divorce him and... oh, right. Nevermind.
11. Zac Efron
Efron is newly single himelf, ridiculously hot and really funny in those Neighbors movies. What are we missing here?!?
12. Tim Tebow
He's the safest bet on the board, that's for sure.
13. TBD
Let ABC help Taylor determine her next mate. That is: Taylor Swift should be the next Bachelorette! Why not, right?!? Traditional dating has not worked for Taylor to this point. What's the harm in mixing it up?
