Ryan Edwards' Tinder Hookup Tells All: He Went Soft and Laid There Lifeless!!

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So, yeah. Ryan Edwards ...

It's just not going great.

If you stop and think about it, the troubled, turbulent Teen Mom OG star had just gotten a chance to turn his life around entirely:

He's fresh out of rehab with a new baby son Jagger and a wife, Mackenzie Standifer, who for some strange reason still loves him.

But the guy just can't seem to get it together. No sooner did Maci Bookout's ex get out of rehab then he got on ... Tinder.

Oh yes. And now it looks like he's ruining everything. Wait until you read the details of his online hookup, and its aftermath.

1. A Genuine Disaster

A Genuine Disaster
Yeah, so Ryan here doesn't seem to be doing too hot.

2. It's Just Sad

It's Just Sad
It's a shame, because he just spent 90 days in rehab and returned home to a loving wife and their brand new baby boy, but he's already screwing up again.

3. The Bright Side

The Bright Side
If there's one good thing about him these days, it's that there's a chance he's sober -- according to people who have seen him in the past few weeks, he looks happier and healthier than ever.

4. Awwww

And in the Christmas photo Mackenzie shared, he does look good.

5. Unfortunately ...

Unfortunately ...
But Ryan just can't give up being creepy on Tinder.

6. Sounds Fair

Sounds Fair
And this time, it may actually cost him his marriage.

7. Ryan, Ryan, Ryan

Ryan, Ryan, Ryan
Earlier this week, we heard a report that Ryan was back on the dating app -- when the conversation moved to text messages, Radar Online confirmed that the phone number belonged to him.

8. Smooth

Radar shared screenshots from the text exchange, and things start off with a little chit chat and discussion of a meet-up, but when the girl asks him if he smokes, he answers with "No I used to do H and I've been to rehab 3 times since I got out of the army so I don't do sh-t anymore."

9. Makes Sense

Makes Sense
Obviously he's never been in the army, but things got even weirder when, right after telling her he doesn't smoke marijuana, he asks "You f-ck with blow." Because his friend has some, though, not because he does.

10. No Thanks

No Thanks
Later he tells her that he's bored, and she tells him to send her a pic -- you can probably guess what kind of pic he sent. By the way, she told him that he had a "long" one, so go ahead and live with that information for the rest of your life.

11. Poor Mackenzie

Poor Mackenzie
There's some more dirty talk, but at one point, Ryan writes "I don't think you wanna deal with my girl," meaning Mackenzie. He breaks the news that he is married, but he claims "we are not together."

12. Well ...

Well ...
The woman then asks if his wife is "crazy" because "lol I don't wanna be murdered for trying to get some dick."

13. Uh Oh

Uh Oh
But it sounds like she got over her fear of being murdered ... because now she's claiming that she and Ryan actually hooked up.

14. So Creepy

So Creepy
"I did not acknowledge that I knew who he was," she said, before launching into a pretty detailed account of how their encounter went down.

15. Take It Back

Take It Back
"We started making out," she began, "and then I gave him a blow job. He told me to sit on his face."

16. At Least He's Consistent

At Least He's Consistent
If you'll remember, this fits with leaked texts from a previous Tinder experience - in those texts, Ryan told another girl that he wanted her to sit on his face. You like what you like, right?

17. Disaster Strikes

Disaster Strikes
She said that he's "good" at oral sex, and after that was done, "he flipped me over and then started to have sex with me. A minute later he went soft. It was embarrassing."

18. So Hot

So Hot
She did what she could to get things going again, but she said that "he laid there lifeless and didn't make any noise."

19. Come On, Ryan

Come On, Ryan
Perhaps the most horrifying detail of this alleged tryst is that "He didn't use a condom. There was no hesitation or second thought. It wasn't something he was prepared with at all."

20. Run, Mackenzie

Run, Mackenzie
"If he's doing it with me he could be doing it with other people," she added. "He was desperate to come over, so I believed him when he said he was separated."

21. Easy, Killer

Easy, Killer
If you wanted to know any more details (we know you didn't!), the woman claimed that Ryan isn't much of a talker in the bedroom, although he did call her "killer" a few times. What a charmer, huh?

22. The End

The End
"Then he disappeared off Tinder," she alleged. "I haven't tried to text him."

23. What Now?

What Now?
So did things go smoothly? Did this woman get murdered by Mackenzie for trying to get some dick?

24. Trouble in Paradise

Trouble in Paradise
Nope ... and that's because it sounds like things may be over for good between Ryan and Mackenzie.

25. Right, Right

Right, Right
Another source tells the celebrity gossip site that the couple has been "arguing a lot," and that Ryan "hasn't been home since Sunday night."

26. Interesting

Ryan just posted (and deleted) a picture of his friend on the toilet for reasons only he might understand, but the toilet looked to be in a hotel room, so he could very well have been kicked out of the home.

27. Clarification

Mackenzie's parents' home, that is - she moved in there when Ryan went to rehab, and Ryan moved in there when he got home.

28. The FIRE

Mackenzie has also been sharing cryptic quotes on Instagram, things like "Some women fear the fire, others simply become it."

29. Something to Consider

Something to Consider
It's important to note that none of this has been confirmed, and that there's no real way to confirm it unless Ryan or Mackenzie address this story, which doesn't seem to be terribly likely.

30. On the Other Hand ...

On the Other Hand ...
Is the story believable? Absolutely, every single bit of it. 100% believable. We just can't confirm it, that's all.

31. Ugh

Merry Christmas, Edwards family! Sorry about, you know, everything!

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Ryan Edwards, Mackenzie Standifer
Teen Mom OG, Teen Mom
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