90 Day Fiance viewers have seen Manuel storm away from Ashley in a huff before. Now, he’s doing it in front of her friends.
On Season 10, Episode 9, Ashley has to pick up the pieces … or decide if she really wants to.
It’s hard to understand your partner’s behavior when he refuses to speak to you.
Ashley Michelle and Manuel
Last week, Manuel stormed away from the table and decided to just walk home. Why? Because he resented that Ashley’s friends were asking somewhat basic questions. One of her friends, Solly, goes after him. Meanwhile, Ashley is processing that Manuel is just openly embarrassing her in front of her friends now. “I think Manuel is very used to getting his way,” she tells the camera. And she acknowledges that he is at times very “unreasonable.” Many viewers would agree with both statements.
Aaaaand yikes
Ashley tells the camera that Manuel’s favorite thing to say to her is “you’re talking too much.” She admits to her friend at the table, Alysia, that Manuel is unaccustomed to being questioned. To the camera, Solly says that Manuel petulantly storming out confirms his suspicion. “That he’s kind of a man-child,” Solly says. Many viewers have observed the same.
At home, Manuel is watching soccer
Initially, he ignores Ashley when she speaks to him. Then, he whines that he’s watching soccer. When Ashley finally gets him to at least look at her, he then asks what’s up. As if he didn’t just storm away from a sit-down with her friends and disappear into the night. What he did was rude and potentially unsafe. Not a winning combo!
Why does he always run away when there’s conflict?
Manuel says that Ashley wanted him to talk to people who don’t understand him. That’s true! But one, they’re her friends. And two, the whole point of talking to them is to help them understand him. That’s how meeting people works. As Manuel complains about Ashley talking about “his life” to her friends (she reminds him that it’s “our life” because they’re getting married), it becomes clear. Manuel seems to feel self-conscious, possibly about relying upon Ashley. Instead of just saying that, he lashes out — including at her. After he says that he doesn’t want her talking about him, Manuel says that he doesn’t “want to argue” and goes back to watching soccer on his phone.
That’s not great!
Ashley points out to the camera that this is a larger issue. One, because it fits his pattern of being a jerk and refusing to talk through issues. Two, because it’s not just him wanting nothing to do with her friends. Manuel also seems to want her to have nothing to do with his family. Can she marry a man like that? Ashley’s asking that question.
What is a “garbage plate” exactly?
Because the vibes are not so great after Manuel stormed off, Ashley takes him out to eat. They visit a hip local place and Ashley orders “garbage plates,” which are just a group of flavors and ingredients served together rather than separately. For some of us, this would be sensory hell in which we might struggle to enjoy the flavors. For Manuel, the problem is different.
Food is a big deal!
Manuel admits that he spent a lot of time in the bathroom during his first few weeks in the US. Obviously, many Americans have said the same when vacationing in Central America. This is actually pretty standard. Your body digests familiar foods well, and might struggle to adapt to new foods. In Manuel’s case, he misses fish, fish, and more fish from Ecuador. It’s important to remember that what almost all Americans consider “Mexican food” and “Chinese food” is the creation of immigrants. Immigrants who found themselves in a new place, making food for new people, and with access to new ingredients. Many cultures around the world rely heavily upon fish. In the US, fish is much less common. Stereotypically, younger people eat sushi or poke, and older generations lean towards fried fish.
Manuel wants ceviche and rice and plantain chips at the wedding
Ashley looks up their plane tickets, as they plan to wed in Florida. Round trip, for both of them, will be just over $600. Manuel reacts to that with dismay. Ashley explains that the cost of living in America is a shock to him. Part of it is the normal adjustment to a different economy. The other part, however, is that part of him is always thinking about how much more power those dollars would have for his family back home. It’s all very complex.
Heart to heart
Ashley takes Manuel to the beach at Lake Ontario. After convincing him that this is not the sea, she listens to his concerns. He thinks about life in Ecuador and how hard it is for his family. And he misses them, of course. The wedding in Florida sounds too expensive to him, especially given how far those dollars go in Ecuador. Now that Manuel has finally communicated his feelings rather than just make demands and storm off, Ashley understands. Who knew?
Compromise!
Ashley suggests that they send his family $100 a month. Which means that she will send it; Manuel cannot work at present. Then, she says, they’ll discuss raising that number after the wedding expenses. Manuel feels happy that Ashley is listening. He praises their relationship. It’s nice to hear him say something positive and with a good attitude.