Leah Messer: I Was in a Real "Fight Club" and Beat the F-ck Outta Some Bish!

You know what they say, right?

Another day, another really shocking and generally horrific excerpt from Leah Messer's bombshell memoir Hope, Grace & Faith.

The Teen Mom 2 star has revealed a lot of stuff leading up to her book release next month, and honestly, it's all been insane.

Like, actually unbelievable.

Just when we thought things couldn't get more jaw-dropping, The Ashley's Reality Roundup just got a brand new excerpt, and it's ...

Well, it's certainly not something we would have expected, that's for sure. But it's insane, like we said. Let's get into it, people!

1. Goodness Gracious

Right, so yeah. Leah is releasing her memoir on May 5. It's called Hope, Grace & Faith, which are three things that are important to her as well as the middle names of her three children.

2. But Really

And if you've been reading all the excerpts that have been coming out leading up to the release, you know that it's going to be just the wildest book ever.

3. Standing Out

A lot of the previous Teen Mom memoirs to date have been kind of tame, or they've just gone over information we all already knew in order to make some money for the celebs. But not Leah's! This is a tell-all that tells ALL.

4. Wow

So far, Leah has revealed that the miscarriage she had with her first pregnancy with Jeremy Calvert was actually an abortion that she got because she thought she might want to get back with her first husband, Corey Simms.

5. Double Wow

She's admitted that her drug addiction was so bad that she basically blacked out for a couple of years - not remembering scenes that she later saw unfold on Teen Mom 2 - and that she once was on the brink of suicide.

6. Triple Wow

And then there was that awful little story about how her mom once pressured her to have sex with a boy when she was a young teenager during a depraved game of "Spin the Bottle."

7. A Thought

The excerpts have all been so crazy that we're starting to wonder what stories Leah could possibly have left that she's saving for the people who actually by the book, and this latest little selection is no exception.

8. Uh

Because in the section of the book we're going to be talking about today, Leah discusses that time she got arrested for assault (!!!) and how she was so good at assaulting (??) because when she was in elementary school she was in a fight club (!!!!!!!!!!).

9. Here We Go

Settle in, friends, because it's about to get weird.

10. OK Girl

Leah starts this part of the book by writing that when she was younger, “I was tougher than I looked…we used to be part of what I can only describe as an elementary school Fight Club."

11. Honestly

Yeah, we didn't call it a fight club just to be cute or whatever, that's actually what she says it was. A fight club. In elementary school.

12. Details

She explained that there was some random empty log cabin at her school (because West Virginia, we'd wager) and that was where things went down.

13. Like You Do

“Every day at recess there would be these prearranged fights," she recalled. "It was totally under the radar, but also highly organized.”

14. Ugh

It was so highly organized that the kids actually placed bets on the fights. Just stop and imagine all of this for a minute, because it is truly something special.

15. Of Course

She wrote that “You’d be down on the ground wrestling, pulling hair, punching and kicking each other, doing whatever you had to do to stay in the fight until one of you finally gave in."

16. LEAH NO

“I was actually undefeated, and then on my third or fourth fight, the girl I was up against got hurt and we all got in trouble.”

17. It's All Over

“I tackled her and took her down," she wrote, "but as she was squirming around on the ground, she hit her kneecap on the wooden wall of the cabin and it split open."

18. The End

"Suddenly, there was blood all over her knee and all the kids that had been watching and cheering us on instantly scattered - that was the end of my junior wrestling career.”

19. Oh Hey Robbie

But Leah raised her fists once again in high school when a girl dared to come onto her boyfriend at the time, the infamous Robbie - he's the guy that she slept with when she was with Corey and later Jeremy, effectively ending both marriages.

20. FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

Leah wrote that when she told her mother and her grandmother about the situation, "their response was that I needed to fight this girl." We'd expect nothing less from her mom after what we've already heard about her in the book, but it's started to look like her granny is a mess, too.

21. Yup

She proved that with this next bit in which she explained that “My grandma even came down to the school one day and pulled me out of class to tell me that I needed to kick her ass right then and there, or I’d be in trouble with her."

22. Easy, Killer

It sounds like she'd already been in some fights before in high school because she said that she'd been warned about it, and it even sounds like she didn't really want to throw down. But Grandma was serious.

23. What on Earth

“I got my grandma to calm down so I could go back to class," the legend continued, "but her attitude was basically, ‘You need to stand up to this girl and if you can’t do it in school, then you better do it when you don’t have school.'”

24. Snapped

A few days later, she happened to see the girl in the hall at school, and “Something inside me just snapped and the impulse to fight completely took over."

25. Natch

“This time, I didn’t give her a warning or time to run away. I just walked up to her and punched her in the face."

26. Sigh

"She was definitely shocked," Leah wrote, "but it only took her a second to fight back. And then it was just an all-out brawl."

27. Yikes

"At some point, we must have fought our way back into the classroom because I remember having her leaned over the top of one of the computers and hitting her over and over again."

28. What a Nightmare

“It was like all this rage that had been simmering under the surface had finally boiled over and I couldn’t stop,” she continued. “That primal instinct to protect what I had took over and nothing else mattered."

29. Just Why

Can we just take a moment to remember that she's talking about a high school boyfriend here? Justifying a nasty fight like this by saying that "that primal instinct to protect what I had took over" sounds just entirely too dramatic for something like this.

30. Ridiculous

In the end, she said that it took two male teachers to pull her away from the girl, but that was the least of her troubles.

31. WHAT

“I had beaten the girl so badly that she ended up in the hospital and her family pressed charges against me for juvenile assault,” she revealed.

32. Small Miracles

“I was suspended from school for three days, I had to see a parole officer once a month for six months, and my grandma had to pay the girl’s hospital bill.”

33. Well

And that's that story.

34. So Strange

It's kind of difficult to imagine, isn't it? From what we've seen of Leah over the years on the show, she doesn't seem like the fighting type, much less the type to fight so hard she put a girl in the hospital.

35. Hmm

But she definitely had some weird obsession with Robbie, enough that it ruined both of her marriages, so maybe he really does just bring something primal and crazy out of her.