Jenelle Evans on Husband's Abuse Allegations: He Probably Didn't Do It, Dude!

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Let's be real, Jenelle Evans has never been the brightest crayon in the box.

Remember when she actually, honest to goodness believed that her lawyer could get her out of jail time because she had a Kesha concert to attend?

Like, yes, that was the reason she got all those feathers in her hair, and Kesha was her idol, but ... really, girl?

That was several years ago, and you'd think that she'd have taken the opportunity to grow up at least a little since then.

But it simply has not happened.

Let's take a good, hard look at Jenelle's latest scandal, and her response to it.

Just for fun, but also to come to terms with the fact that there is literally no hope left for humanity ...

1. David Eason = Bad News

David Eason = Bad News
OK, so Jenelle has been with David Eason for a couple of years now, right? And it's important to remember that Jenelle has never, ever dated a good guy. Probably because good guys aren't so interested in girls with over a dozen mug shots who have also done heroin on national television.

2. David's Crimes

David's Crimes
Before getting with Jenelle, David was accused of assaulting his heavily pregnant girlfriend, and also of strangling her shortly after she gave birth to their child. He's also been charged with crimes like breaking and entering and larceny.

3. Red Flags

Red Flags
In fact, until just a few weeks ago, David was considered such an awful person that he wasn't allowed to see his own son. His ex filed an order of protection that made it illegal for him to contact the kid, and he almost went to jail for violating the order when he saw his son in a grocery store and approached him for a hug.

4. ... More Red Flags

... More Red Flags
As if all that wasn't bad enough, Teen Mom 2 fans quickly developed a hatred for David after he was shown being overly aggressive and mean with Jenelle's two sons. We saw him get angry at Kaiser, who was barely a toddler at the time, for not behaving, and we also saw him call Kaiser a "screaming little bitch."

5. Just Red Flags as Far as the Eye Can See

Just Red Flags as Far as the Eye Can See
Things are so bad between David and Jenelle's sons that we've heard that Jace has told his therapist that he's afraid of David. He even told Jenelle several times that he didn't want her to marry him.

6. Poor Babs :(

Poor Babs :(
Another awful thing about David is the way he tries to alienate Jenelle from her mother, Barbara. He's insisted that she call her by her name instead of calling her "mom," and Barbara has said that he's the worst guy Jenelle's ever dated. Which is saying a lot.

7. "FEED ME!"

In another particularly upsetting moment on Teen Mom 2, we saw Jenelle and David do a photo shoot ahead of their wedding while Kaiser, Jace, and David's daughter Maryssa were playing nearby. Kaiser, who'd just turned three at the time, was curious about the camera, and when he dared to approach it, David stormed up to him, grabbed him by the arm, and carried him over to a swingset. After that, Kaiser began crying inconsolably, screaming "FEED ME," but Jenelle and David just took more photos instead.

8. A Wedding, Yay (?!?!?!)

A Wedding, Yay (?!?!?!)
Despite all of this, Jenelle went through with marrying this guy in September. But that wasn't the only eventful thing that happened in their lives in September ...

9. Doris Speaks

Doris Speaks
Also in September, thanks to some court documents filed by Nathan Griffith's mother, Doris, we learned that Jenelle and David had been investigated by child protective services earlier in the year because their daughter, Ensley, was born with marijuana in her system.

10. Innocent Ensley

Innocent Ensley
We also learned that on at least one additional occasion, case workers visited their home and smelled marijuana in a room in which tiny little baby Ensley was spending time.

11. ANOTHER Custody Battle

ANOTHER Custody Battle
Unfortunately, Doris can't really do much to help Ensley, but as Kaiser's grandmother, she has more of a chance of helping him out. That's why she's filing for custody of that precious little boy.

12. #FreeKaiser

According to Doris, she wants Kaiser to live with her because he's not safe living with Jenelle and David. She's claimed that Kaiser told her David punched him in the head, and that Jenelle regularly locks him out of the house to play by himself out in the woods.

13. Seriously, Someone Save This Kid

Seriously, Someone Save This Kid
Nathan is supporting his mother in her attempt to get custody of sweet Kaiser -- he's also claimed that Jenelle and David almost let the boy drown when they were out on their boat without lifejackets.

14. Just Tragic

Just Tragic
So to recap real quick, David is the worst, Jace is scared of him, Doris insists that he's been violent with Kaiser, and we've seen plenty of issues with him on the show with our very own eyes.

15. Balloon Stabbing

Balloon Stabbing
Oh, and did we also mention that this is a guy who, when MTV refused to serve him alcohol, thought it was acceptable to pull out a knife and start stabbing balloons? Because that happened.

16. And Now ...

And Now ...
So why are we bringing all this up again? Because it was all brought up again on Monday night's Teen Mom 2 reunion show.

17. Gross

While Jenelle was talking to Dr. Drew, David was watching backstage. She began to get upset at Dr. Drew's line of questioning -- not because he was being hard on her, because it was a sensitive subject -- and David began to get upset in a different way. He called Dr. Drew a "f----t," and told Jenelle that he was leaving. She went with him, and as they pulled out of the parking lot, he almost ran over a producer.

18. Nathan to the Rescue

After that, Nathan and Doris spoke with Dr. Drew about how much David's behavior bothered them. Doris repeated the story about Kaiser telling her that David punched him, and she confirmed that she is seeking custody.

19. Stellar Defense

Stellar Defense
After she realized that people couldn't stop talking about her segment at the reunion, Jenelle released a statement that read "I doubt my husband would punch a kid in his face." Strong denial, right?

20. Not Making It Better ...

Not Making It Better ...
She added that "For weeks I asked Doris every time Kaiser came home and if there was marks she always got super offensive in texts when I would ask her what happened to my son."

21. Sigh

In David's defense, Jenelle said that he is just "super protective over me and gets very upset if anyone makes me cry. So for Dr. Drew to ask me stupid questions about David is ridiculous because the real problem is Nathan here. David did not want to go back on stage because he has super bad anxiety and doesn't like Dr. Drew. This isn't David's job this is mine. I came, filmed, did my part, left."

22. Uh ...

Uh ...
Reading her statement, it seems clear that one, she's not too terrible concerned about the abuse allegations if she only "doubts" that David would hit Kaiser, and two, since both she and Doris are acknowledging that Kaiser has had marks on him, someone is abusing him.

23. No. Just no.

No. Just no.
Just do better, Jenelle. It really, sincerely should not be so hard to just do better than this.

Wait! There's more! Just click "Next" below:

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Jenelle Evans, David Eason
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Jenelle Evans Slideshows, David Eason Slideshows
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