Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are splitting up, and somewhere Jennifer Aniston is filing her nails and whistling.
Pitt famously left Aniston – whom he married in 2005 – after hooking up with Jolie on the 2003 set of Mr. & Mrs. Smith.
Ever since, the media has pegged Aniston as the poor, deserted wife who couldn’t give Pitt what he needed.
Hah! Aniston is still super-hot, still super-employed and married to Justin Theroux.
She’s fine.
The internet imagined Aniston’s reaction to news of the divorce filing, and it was spot-on.
When The Barista Asks If You Heard
“Yeah…can I have my coffee?”
Call Yo Friends
@laurenduca: .@Pontifex “What do you think Jennifer Aniston is doing rn?”
Hi, There
@Max_read: “jennifer aniston has been upgraded from “fine” to “great” in the first reassessment of her condition since 2005.”
Cah-Losure
@andilavs: “Actually, I think I’ll have a bagel this morning. With cream cheese. And a margarita.” – Jennifer Aniston, probably.
You Know She’s Scrolling Through Twitter RN
@missklonk: “The most disappointing thing about the #brangelina split is #JenniferAniston doesn’t have social media to enjoy all the memes about her.”
The People Have Spoken, Brad
@Kwayanyways: “Let’s make September 20th, the international #JenniferAniston day #BrangelinaIsOver.”
They’re Over?
On the outside, she’s sympathetic. On the inside, it’s a different story.
What Aniston, Courtney Cox and Lisa Kudrow Are Doing Tonight
@MeganBigMouth: “Meanwhile, #JenniferAniston is a little busy and barely has time to say I told you so. #brangelina.”
NOT YOURS, BRAD
You didn’t want this 11 years ago, remember? NONE FOR YOU!
Pitt May Have Cheated On Jolie…With His Co-Star!
borrrrrriiinngggggggg.
How You Doin’ On This Fine September Day, Lady?
@jigsleepuff: “Well well well… #TeamJennifer #JenniferAniston.”
Vindication, Thy name is ANISTON
Everyone is SUPER excited for Rachel Green.
My Ex’s Wife Is Leaving Him
I KNOW.
Who Split Up Today?
“Oh…that’s too bad.”
Will She Take Brad Back?
Not bloody likely.
How Do You Feel Today, Jen?
Pretty? Vindicated? Pretty vindicated?
Hugh, Can We Talk About The End of Brangelina?
Ok, fine. We’ll go find Hiddleston.
Tough Luck, Brad
SELF WORTH!
What Jen’s Been Doing All Day
“Court, hold that thought. Kate Hudson is beeping in.”
It Feels Good To Laugh
“Remember that time you were married to Brad Pitt?”