Over the course of his impressive NFL career, Arian Foster amassed over 6,500 yards rushing and scored 54 touchdowns.
But whatever. Who cares about how many yards the running back averaged per carry?
Foster is claiming on Twitter that he can kill a wolf with his bare hands.
How?!? What does the former All-Pro claim to be this animal's one major weakness?
Scroll through the hilarious Tweets below, get inside Foster's unique head and decide: Could he really kill a wolf all by his lonesome?!?
It's Called "Wild" for a Reason, Right?
This hilarious stream of consciousness started with this simple Tweet/concern.
... I ain't scared of no wolf!
Here's the Thing...
... a wolf has no thumbs. Foster was adamant about this playing a key role in his kill.
I've dealt with angry pitbulls in my past. I totally got this.
He Ain't Got No Bite
Not after I give his jaw a solid wallop or two.
They... do... not... have... thumbs.
Thumbs Are Not Overrated
Heck, they may even be underrated.
Prepation is Half the Battle
Isn't that what the Boy Scouts always tell us?
By the Time He Figures Out What Hit Him...
... I'll have actually hit him!
So Many Things in My Favor
Seriously. Almost too many to list.
Don't Give the Wolf So Much Credit
No way did he take AP Bio.
How is no on getting this?
And eff everyone who doesn't believe in me!
Wolves are Not Smart
Humans are intelligent. This is the difference, people.
And Foster is a borderline Hall of Famer. The wolf would scarcely get five percent of the vote.