Better safe than sorry, right?
This saying can be applied to numerous situations, but perhaps none more appropriate than when it comes to the well-being if your child.
Take Bryan Elliott, for example.
A software engineer and father from the Philadelphia area, he told The Huffington Post that his wife, Amy, was going through old emails recently when she came across something Bryan once wrote to a babysitter.
She was watching the couple’s son, Jack, for the first time and Bryan wanted to be certain that she was prepared for any situation.
And we mean ANY situation…
A Not-So-Quick Primer
“I remembered how lost Amy and I were when we brought Jack home on the first day, and figured I should write something detailed and straightforward without being too boring to read,” the dad explained to The Huffington Post.
What If He Cries?!?
See… Elliott explains that he was aiming for the “if-then” approach of operating manuals: “Just the idea of looking at an infant as a device — sort of a squishy Tamagotchi — is absurd enough to be funny. And I write a lot of technical documentation for work, so that’s the direction I kind of fell into.”
Skills to Remember
HA! Just shove the binky in his mouth. Nothing to it.
Pee vs. Poop
Don’t laugh. These are important distinctions.
It’s a Dirty Job!
But someone has to do it!
In Case of Diaper Emergency
Oh, yes, all parents can attest: this definitely happens.
Fluffing Out the Gussets?
We’re not sure if that piece of advice would be helpful to us or not.
What to Actually Do With Him
The options are limited, but still. Important to note.
It’s more than just alliterative, it’s beneficial in the long run!
Dance Like No One is Watching
You’re probably better than the baby, anyway.
Play That Funky Music!
Elliott concluded that he hopes people who see his email get “a laugh and a little peace of mind – particularly for soon-to-be parents.” Why? “Amy and I were terrified for much of the nine months prior to Jack’s arrival. I hope that, by giving soon-to-be’s something this concrete and a little funny, they’ll gain a little more confidence in their ability to deal with the unending nightmare of child-care.”