Farrah Abraham always does wild and wacky things that don't really make too much sense for those of us with multiple brain cells.
That's just her, you know?
But sometimes, every once in a while, she crosses a line.
And that's when she goes from being dumb and pitiful but still entertaining to just flat out nuts.
Lucky for you, friends, this is one of those times.
Farrah has never been that emotionally stable, right?
But that's not necessarily her fault.
As we've seen on MTV over the years, Farrah's family is pretty out there -- and some of them are also abusive, considering the fact that her mother, Debra Danielsen, hit her twice in the early seasons of Teen Mom.
We've seen how weird those relationships are, and we've seen Farrah cry several times over some serious abuse in her childhood that to this day, she's never talked about.
Don't Forget Sophia!
Farrah also got pregnant at 16 and raised the kid alone since the father, her sometimes-boyfriend Derek Underwood, died in a car accident before she gave birth.
What we're saying is that this girl has been through a lot, and none of it has really set her up for success.
And when it comes to her love life as an adult?
It's been an absolute disaster.
We saw her date a few guys on Teen Mom back in the day, but the guys never stuck around for long -- usually because of her own terrible attitude, to be honest.
When she released her sex tape, she tried to pretend like it was an actual private tape she made with her boyfriend, famous porn star James Deen. Literally no one bought it.
Then Simon Saran came into the picture, and he definitely stuck around the longest.
Except they did break up and get back together quite a bit, and with their constant bickering and that whole situation where Farrah bought herself an engagement ring that was supposed to be from him even though he wasn't into it ... no one would call their relationship healthy.
What a Turn
She's been on some dates since she and Simon split for good in 2017, and lots of people seem to think that she's been working as an escort for wealthy men overseas, and that's why she's always travelling.
Considering all of this, it's pretty clear that she's probably never had a healthy relationship. Not a one, in all her years.
But for some reason, she thinks she's qualified to work as a couples and sex therapist.
Here's the video where she explains everything.
Make It Stop
She says that she's been giving so much "Farrahpy" on Ex on the Beach -- really, that's what she's calling it, "Farrahpy" -- that she feels confident enough to extend her services to all of us.
And so if you're interested, she's offering one hour Farrahpy sessions over on CamSoda, the cam girl website she uses to masturbate on also.
Oh, Farrah ...
We did you a solid and went to CamSoda for more information -- it's essentially a porn site, so it's very NSFW and you'll have to get your Farrahpy on your own time -- and here's what she's selling.
For one, she used this cheesy picture, and she really is calling this whole mess Farrahpy -- it's trademarked and everything.
Farrahpy is "private 1-on-1 sex and relationship therapy only on CamSoda with me! Farrah Abraham."
"I've dated around the globe," she writes, "and worked with some of the best sex therapists in the world myself. From VH1 Couples Therapy, along with my TV show journey with top celebrity therapists in Los Angeles, real life sex and who better to get your groove back with than with me Farrah Abraham!"
She says that "Couples, individuals & even family groups are welcome," and that "confidentiality is taken with compassion."
What a Gift
"My ability to communicate honestly and my openness sexually allows for groundbreaking live sex therapy sessions via webcam aka Farrahpy," she continues.
"My real life tips are best experienced in realtime where I can help couples get comfortable with each other and explore new ways to enjoy themselves in and out of the bedroom."
You can pay $10,000 for an hour, or $5,000 for 30 minutes, and you can request your very own Farrahpy session today.
What a Plan
So it really sounds like Farrah is charging thousands of dollars to watch people have sex, right? That's what this all boils down to here.
She says that her tips are "best experienced in realtime," and she's going through this adult site
We suppose people with $10,000 to throw around could just ask her for advice without taking their junk out, but hey, you might as well get your money's worth, right?
But unfortunately, judging by the comments on Farrah's Instagram post, nobody's too interested in Farrahpy.
"Nobody should take any type of 'therapy' from you," one of her followers told her.
Another person wrote "Seriously? Don’t you have to have some sort of degree to do this? Not sure you are qualified."
One commenter told Farrah "Lmfao girl u shouldn’t be giving therapy you need therapy my girl," and we can't say this person is wrong.
Even fans are taking issue with Farrahpy -- one said "This is in no way criticizing you but what if someone with mental health issues thinks they don’t need traditional therapy because they’re booking sessions with you? No hate, all love. I had to ask."
They Have a Point
So many people pointed out that this is a terrible idea, that she's not qualified to even give advice, much less charge people thousands of dollars for it and call it therapy. Some even pointed out that what she's doing could be illegal.
But you know Farrah -- when has she ever cared about anything more than she's cared about getting paid and getting attention?