Duggar Intimacy Guide: Make Yourself Available to HIS Needs. Always. Joyfully. [UPDATED]

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First, there was Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar popping out a small army of young fundamentalists.

Then there's the recent backlash over Jinger's wardrobe ... and Jill Duggar's brazenly kinky sex life.

It's clear that, despite an aversion to front-hugging or wearing pants, the family is no strangers to sex.

The distinction is that for the Duggars, sexual activity happens only within the confines of marriage.

This is fairly well established. Beyond that, they have all sorts of advice - both good and appalling.

For couples hoping to keep their marriages strong and enduring, here's what they have in mind.

[UPDATE: It seems not all Duggars agree on the best way to spice up a marriage -- and this may be causing some problems within the family!]

Take a look:

1. Jim Bob Duggar and Michelle Duggar Share a Drink

Jim Bob Duggar and Michelle Duggar Share a Drink
Michelle Duggar and Jim Bob Duggar enjoyed a drink together in what some would call a shocking public display of affection.

2. Attend to HIS Needs

Attend to HIS Needs
Michelle thinks that it's a wife's duty to attend to her husband's needs -- from food to his wardrobe to the marital bed. And she thinks that keeping up with those needs is the secret to a healthy marriage.

3. But only one of those services is exclusive

But only one of those services is exclusive
"Anyone can iron Jim Bob’s shirt, anybody can make lunch for him," Michelle has said. "He can get his lunch somewhere else."

4. Her advice continues

Her advice continues
"But you are the only one who can meet that special need that he has in his life for intimacy," Michelle's advice goes. "You’re it. You’re the only one." Interesting -- we're not sure if that worked out so well for Anna.

5. Be "Joyfully Available" to Bone

Be "Joyfully Available" to Bone
Michelle advises women -- well, wives: "And so be available, and not just available, but be joyfully available for him."

6. Service with a smile

Service with a smile
"Smile," Michelle instructs. "And be willing to say, ‘Yes, sweetie I am here for you,’ no matter what."

7. No matter what??

No matter what??
Michelle says to oblige "even though you may be exhausted and big pregnant and you may not feel like he feels." In the kink community, that's known as "freeuse" and it's not for everyone. Especially for those who are "big pregnant."

8. Michelle thinks it sends the right message

Michelle thinks it sends the right message
According to Michelle, making yourself available no matter your personal needs says: "‘I’m still here for you and I’m going to meet that need because I know it’s a need for you.’"

9. Well, it's worked for her

Well, it's worked for her
If you just ignore your own needs and attend to someone else's, of course they're going to be happy with you. But how does that work for other members of the Duggar family?

10. How about Jill?

How about Jill?
Jill has also shared some downright NSFW details about how she keeps her marriage to Derick Dillard alive. Here's what she's had to say on the subject.

11. Have fun with it

Have fun with it
Birthing out a small army of Duggar grandbabies takes up your time, but Jill and Derick recently went off on a sexy getaway together.

12. And they used some tools to set the mood

And they used some tools to set the mood
On a recent romantic trip, Jill revealed that she and Derick had brought along the Kama Sutra -- a legendary guide to lovemaking. They had also brought a massage oil candle, some skittles, and a "Bedroom Edition" game scorecard.

13. Also, she says you should bang all of the time

Also, she says you should bang all of the time
Jill talks less about reducing yourself to be a slave to your lord husband's needs, but she does advice keeping up a regular sex life. As for a number? Jill suggests trying to bone around 3-4 times a week.

14. And then there's saving yourself

And then there's saving yourself
The Duggars are infamous for their ideas about "saving" oneself for marriage, but some of that continues even after you get married and can finally experience the carnal thrill of front-hugging.

15. What does that mean?

What does that mean?
Simply put: no masturbation, which can work easily for some couples and not at all for others. Jill's suggestion is: "Be open with your spouse about your desires and change things up to keep it exciting!"

16. Not all clothing has to be skirts

Not all clothing has to be skirts
Jill, like a number of her sisters, has enjoyed wearing actual human clothing like pants since escaping the clutches of her parents by getting married. But some of her clothing is, if you can believe it, even more seductive than jeans.

17. That means sexy lingerie, folks

That means sexy lingerie, folks
Jill is totally onboard for lingerie -- it's just for her husband's eyes only.

18. Sometimes, keeping things spicey takes work

Sometimes, keeping things spicey takes work
"But like a fire, sometimes, and more so during some seasons than others, you need to be intentional, proactive, and work hard to keep the fire going," Jill says, using an interesting analogy.

19. But you can't always do it alone

But you can't always do it alone
Jill has expressed an awareness that marital problems, including problems with intimacy, can't always be tackled alone. If communication efforts fail, counseling exists.

20. It seems to work for them

It seems to work for them
Despite constant backlash from fans for asking for money for their dubious "missionary trips" to Derick's transphobia scandal that got him promptly fired by TLC, Derick and Jill are still married. It's either the fact that they keep it fresh in the bedroom or the fact that their families and subculture tell them that divorce is not an option no matter what.

21. So what does Amy Duggar have to say?

So what does Amy Duggar have to say?
Unlike her J-named cousins, Amy exists further from the fringes of society and many fans may feel that they can relate more to her than to her cousins, no matter how much they love them.

22. Amy and Dillon have shared their thoughts

Amy and Dillon have shared their thoughts
"Keep it fresh, keep it wild," they suggest. Vague but it sure sounds promising!

23. Dillon says to make it special

Dillon says to make it special
"Every now and then, got to make it a thing, right?" he suggests. "I can’t do it repetitively because it gets too built up, she’s used to it."

24. He admits that there's a downside to that

He admits that there's a downside to that
You're constantly trying to top yourself ... hmm, unfortunate phrasing. You're constantly trying to OUTDO yourself, as Dillon explains: "Then it’s like, how am I going to top that now, right?"

25. But it's clearly worked

But it's clearly worked
These two are happily married and clearly enjoy their lives together. Amy loves that Dillon loves to massage her. Good for them.

26. It's working REALLY well

It's working REALLY well
Amy didn't get pregnant by herself, folks. Which is a great reminder: if you're NOT part of a fundamentalist fertility cult, it's a great idea to remember that all of that marriage-saving boning can easily leave you buried alive in babies.

27. UPDATE: Sometimes at Odds

UPDATE: Sometimes at Odds
While the Duggars are all in agreement that God put us on Earth so that we could breed like rabbits, it seems there's some disagreement with regard to how it should be done.

28. The Dillards vs. the Duggars

The Dillards vs. the Duggars
It's been rumored that the Dillard and Duggar families are no longer on speaking terms, and fans think the feud might be a result of Jill's risque sex tips.

29. The Schism

The Schism
The beef between the two families is so serious that they celebrated Thanksgiving separately, despite living just a few miles apart.

30. But Is It All Because of Jill's Sex Tips?

But Is It All Because of Jill's Sex Tips?
It seems we'll find out soon enough! Derick Dillard has promised to publish a memoir about his recent experiences with the Duggars. Folks, this could get good!

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Duggar Family Quotes

When you've missed [sex] for seven days, you look forward to it even more! - Michelle Duggar

Anyone can fix him lunch, but only one person can meet that physical need of love that he has, and you always need to be available when he calls. - Michelle Duggar on saying yes (yes, and more yes) to sex