Have you heard the good news?
It looks like Teen Mom 2 terror Jenelle Evans has finally up and left that swamp monster she married, David Eason.
Yep, after all the horrible things he's done, both alleged and proven, she somehow gathered enough sense to leave.
We would love to celebrate this long-overdue piece of news, but unfortunately, David is making that a little difficult.
Because - surprise! - he's being true to form ... and by that we mean he's being a great big creep about all of this.
This friggen guy.
The Unhappy Couple
Honestly, Jenelle should have left David ages ago. It would have been even more ideal if she never married him, and in a perfect world, she never would have met him at all, but we can't change the past, can we?
Besides, it takes a lot for an abuse victim to leave their abuser, so it's hard to criticize her for the timeline here. Because if there's one thing we've learned about David in all the time we've known of him, it's that he's an abuser.
We've heard all the reports about how David was allegedly violent with Kaiser, and we've even seen the photos of the marks on his backside which Nathan Griffith claimed were from his abuse.
We've heard the 911 call from Jenelle in which she cried to the operator that he'd knocked her to the ground so hard that she thought he broke her collarbone.
There was even a second 911 call from Jenelle in which she said that he was being violent and destructive, and that he even destroyed their front door.
What else ... we've seen the court documents from his ex in which she claimed he was abusive to her while she was pregnant with their child, that was awful.
So Many Bad Things
There was a recording that was leaked during the custody trial over the summer where he could be heard verbally abusing her ...
... And of course that custody trial happened after he beat and shot her dog.
Such a History
So yeah, there are plenty of reasons for Jenelle to leave David.
Sad But True
One big one that we haven't mentioned yet is that he's pretty much what cost her her job on Teen Mom 2 -- her extremely lucrative job, and probably the only good job she could ever have, considering her history.
Hey, Whatever Works
It seems like that's the one that finally got her to cut David loose.
Last Friday, Jenelle literally left David to fly to New York by herself. She took Kaiser to her mom's house, left Ensley with David, and went to take a meeting with MTV executives.
The rumor is that there's interest in having Jenelle return to the show in some capacity -- whether that's as a full-time cast member, an occasional guest star, or something else entirely.
She hasn't officially been re-hired yet, as far as anyone knows, and she didn't film anything for the reunion that was also filmed in New York last weekend, but something does seem to be in the works.
And MTV has made it extremely clear that they have no interest whatsoever in working with or around David ever again.
What a Way to Go
So is that why they split? Yeah, looks like it.
From what we've gathered from David's social media accounts, Jenelle STILL hasn't come home yet.
Over the past few days, David has made posts like this one, in which he seems to be so devastated that he can't even eat.
And this one, in which he blames Jenelle for never admitting any wrongdoings.
Come On Now
And this one, in which he's delirious because he simply cannot sleep without Jenelle by his side.
So Much Shame
And this one, in which he says that Jenelle is simply too ashamed of her actions to come home.
Jenelle, meanwhile, hasn't made an direct statements about the situation, but she did tweet "I love all of you... whether u know it or not. I hear what you are saying. I get it."
So is this it? Are things really over between them?
So Many Things
We're still not sure, but we do have new information!
Here We Go Again
So David, as you may remember, lost his Instagram account last year after he shared a video of himself shooting an assault rifle and tagged Trump in it. He made a new account a few months ago for that knife business he's trying to get going, but it hasn't been the same.
But yesterday, he regained control over the person account ... and he wasted no time in crying over Jenelle.
He posted this on his story, alerting his followers that it was time for him to "drink beer and forget."
A True Hero
It's a little concerning that he's talking about getting so drunk he forgets all his problems when it seems like Jenelle still isn't home, but we imagine that good ol' Maryssa is caring for her like she usually does.
But then this morning, he posted a photo of Jenelle with Ensley, and his caption?
"The most perfect sight I've ever seen! If I had to live without these two I wouldn't want to live at all."
In the time since he posted the photo, he edited out that last sentence and turned off the comments.
So Much Nope
So this is all really just terrible, right? David's been talking about how he can't sleep or eat without Jenelle, and now he's talking about how he doesn't even want to live without her?
As far as we can tell, one of two things could be going on here. One being that none of this is real, that they're both just making it look like they've split until she can get a guaranteed spot on Teen Mom 2 ...
And two being that this is his way of trying to manipulate her, to guilt her into coming back with him.
Either way, the things he's saying now really don't sound genuine. If he really is just trying to be sweet and pitiful to get her to come back, it's probably just a matter of time before he turns to threats and humiliation -- he'll show his true, gross colors soon enough.
What a Mess
We can't say we've ever been jealous of Jenelle for any reason, but man, we certainly don't envy her for having to deal with this.