90 Day Fiance: The Other Way Season 4 has slowly introduced us to this season’s cast.
On Episode 5, we’re seeing more of the downsides to some of these relationships.
A few of them are everyday issues — normal life stress and differences. Others are throwing up red flags left and right.
Take a look at our Season 4, Episode 5 recap below, starting with Daniele feeling that Yohan has broken her trust.
Daniele Gates and Yohan Geronimo
This trip to the Dominican Republic is nearly over. Daniele hopes to find an apartment before she returns to New York, because her plan is to move back to the DR on a permanent basis. She and Yohan have also agreed to keep his butcher shop open for another nine months and see if it can turn a profit.
Remember Sophy?
She is one of Daniele’s yoga students. They have known each other for about five years. Previously, we saw Sophy bring up the term “sanky panky,” essentially a hot guy who works in resorts looking for an affluent tourist. So yes, she has had her doubts about Yohan’s intentions. She worries that Daniele wants to see the best in Yohan and is “too trusting,” so the goal is to meet Yohan and get a feel for the guy.
Yohan wants to have kids
Sophy has two adult children (truly she does not look old enough to), so it naturally comes up. Yohan is interested in having kids … the natural way. In her early forties, Daniele’s odds of conceiving are lower, and she worries about “manifesting” a pregnancy only to be unable to carry it to term. She would rather use a process like IVF to eliminate some risks, while Yohan is more interested in a “natural” pregnancy.
Yohan does not currently have any kids
Sophy very bluntly asked if there were a chance that he might have some and not know about it, but he said no. Then he acknowledged that an ex had been pregnant. Then, Yohan added that she had undergone an abortion. What’s interesting about this is that it was news to Daniele — his wife.
Make no mistake, Daniele’s issue isn’t about the abortion
She affirms to the camera that she is 100% pro-choice. Instead, she explains, her big issue with this is that Yohan had previously told her that his ex had “lost” the baby, as in a miscarriage. Those are not the same thing. Little white lie? Maybe. Not really Daniele’s business what his ex did with her own body? Probably. But Daniele is big on honesty and feels that Yohan has broken her trust.
First, Daniele and Yohan have an errand to run
They stop by a botanica, which Daniele struggles to describe. It’s basically an herb shop. She buys over $200 (USD) of essential oils, while insisting that these spiritual practices are not witchcraft. (She seems to be splitting hairs pretty thin, but whatever) Yohan does not want to use any of her spiritual solutions to bless his shop, due to his evangelical Christian beliefs.
Then, they have to talk about honesty
Yohan at first thinks that Daniele is bringing up his past, and asks why it’s even relevant to their lives now. It’s not — not really, anyway. But Daniele says that it’s not about the past, it’s about what he told her during their actual relationship.
Abortion is a voluntary procedure, while a miscarriage is often a tragedy
Daniele’s desire to become a mom has made her sensitive to this topic. But her big worry is about honesty. Yohan didn’t tell her the truth before, even if it’s about something small.
That’s a sticking point for Daniele
Yohan knows that she has dealt with major dishonesty from exes. Remember how she took a few years off from dating before meeting Yohan? Well, one of her exes had an entire secret family that he didn’t tell her about. So yeah, even a little white lie makes her worry about other lies.
Yohan does not see what he said as a lie
Of course, it’s not clear if this is a mindset issue — of two things being the same thing, or something else. There could be a communication nuance issue since she is not a native Spanish speaker. And it also feels like this could just be about stubbornness. Daniele observes that Yohan sometimes acts like a brick wall when they have a disagreement. He gets defensive and won’t budge.
Daniele feels like Yohan has “broken” their trust
It might feel like she’s not choosing her battles, but Daniele has explained why this is a big deal to her. And it’s a bigger deal, arguably, that she and Yohan can’t seem to just talk it out reasonably without escalating.
Yohan asks if they should just break up then and there
They’re married, so that’s no simple split. Daniele explains to the camera that it feels childish that he’s threatening a split because she confronted him over a lie. She decides to head back to the hotel for the night.
Debbie and Oussama
The couple with the broadest age gap in franchise history will soon reunite! Debbie is packing her things for Morocco. Right now, she’s only bringing some things for the trip. Debbie plans to keep her townhouse for her children, and she’ll have her son, Julian, send more of her things over once she and Oussama are settled in to their new, married life together.
Now, we get to meet Oussama!
By our count, he is the very last member of the cast whom producers have introduced. Sometimes, this points to a shorter storyline. Other times, production just wants to keep viewers guessing. Anyway, Oussama is 24 years old and he comes from Khemisset, Morocco. He is a poet and an artist.
This is how he describes his hometown
Is he complimenting Khemisset or insulting it. Both? He could be saying that it’s a peaceful place to die, a good place to retire, or that it will bore you to death. Totally unclear.
He loves cats (he loves every kind of cat)
Oussama appreciates that cats have “silence.” He feeds many. In fact, at one point, he’s talking to the camera and a cat just shows up behind him, walking into the frame and photobombing. A producer event comments on it. It’s … actually very sweet and endearing? We felt prepared for many things about Oussama, but we did not feel prepared to like the guy.
Remember when Debbie explained that he’s a “farm person” in an earlier episode?
Well, she wasn’t kidding. It’s a small farm with a few cows, a dozen or so chickens, and one donkey. And Oussama explains that he lives there and works his family’s farm instead of traditional employment because it’s sort of soul-crushing to have a normal job, and robs him of his ability to express himself through art. Many people can relate to this.
Speaking of art
Oussama reads a poem that he wrote about Debbie, talking about how she enriches him with nourishing vitamins in a way that makes the sun jealous.
He says that age is just a number
It’s so nice to hear that line from an adult who is dating a (much older) adult rather than from a man who knows way too much about the age of consent laws in different states and countries.
Oh but of COURSE he’s hiding something from her
Oussama has not yet divulged to Debbie that he’s not ready to marry her yet. She’s leaving her home goodbye to live with him, and he’s getting cold feet about the wedding? He’d better have a very good explanation.
Neither of Debbie’s children approve
Even though Julian drives her to the airport, he finds her whole plan foolish. Her daughter, Sandy, calls during the drive to double down on disapproval. But Debbie is doing what she wants.
But it’s still a big deal, and she has her own doubts
Debbie heads off for her flight, wondering what awaits her on this trip to Morocco. It will be interesting to see her reaction when Oussama confesses that he’s not ready to marry her.
Gabriel Paboga and Isabel Posada
We saw Gabe’s sweet reunion with Isabel and with her kids. Now, however, they need to focus on building their life together in Colombia. Gabriel has his own business, selling underwear with built-in-packers to transmasc customers. And now that he’s no longer in Florida, he needs to figure out a new supply chain so that he can make and ship the product.
He’s feeling stressed out at the moment
Isabel explains to the camera that Gabe is feeling the pressure, and he’s just too anxious to talk to sometimes. It’s actually really important for partners to see each other at their worst. If Gabe’s worst is just panicking in the car while trying to figure out business stuff, then that’s great! Not easy to be around. But there are people who insult their loved ones when they’re under pressure, and nobody needs that.
Gabe picks out the fabric himself
It’s sounding like he’ll be using this material to make the underwear itself. We have seen him making the actual packing material separately. He and Isabel look for elastic for the waistline, too, so even if Gabe isn’t doing all of the actual sewing, these really are custom products. It’s cool to see this side of the process! Most of us think very little about where our clothes come from.
Isabel is, in theory, Gabriel’s assistant
But he admits that she’s basically taking charge while they do this. She’s clearly good at it. Isabel admits to the camera that, with the stress that Gabe is feeling, it might have been faster if she’d run this errand alone. It’s fun watching how they work together. We’ve seen some couples get truly toxic while trying to work together. Not these two!
Jen Boecher and Rishi Singh
We previously saw Jen lose her cool after sitting there and processing the layers of deception that Rishi has planned for his family. Nobody likes a “friend” introduction to someone’s family when they’re dating, even in high school. Well, Jen is a grown adult and about to meet her fiance’s folks (she has met some of them before). However, she has decided to give it another chance.
Rishi brought her an outfit
Because they are not being intimate (again) just yet, he gives her space to change. Rishi now worries that Jen will “walk away in the future” if the two encounter “some more difficulties.” Jen explains that the threat of an arranged marriage haunts her, but he says that his family does not have “a bad heart,” so he doesn’t believe that they’ll actually do it.
Rishi’s friend Sanjeet visits
Jen knows Sanjeet, Rishi shares. And he believes that the presence of a third person will help to make his family less suspicious.
Jen looks great!!!
Rishi is the one who picked out and brought over the outfit, and it does look phenomenal on her from top to bottom.
Sanjeet has some bad news
He says that he doesn’t think that Rishi’s “introduce her as a friend” gambit is going to work. This will look suspicious regardless, and Sanjeet also lets it slip that Rishi’s parents are actively looking for a wife for him. That rubs Jen the wrong way.
Rishi should have told her
He also tells her that this has only been going on for a couple of months. But actually, no, that’s not the truth, Rishi. Jen’s annoyance will only grow when she discovers that Rishi has once again refused to tell her something.
Rishis’ family is polite and welcoming
Jen makes awkward conversation. Remember, we have no idea what Rishi (and producers) have told his family about why the cameras are there. Most people who appear on this show know about the relationship to some degree.
By the way, Sanjeet was right
Though no one in the family knows that Jen is Rishi’s fiancee, or even that she is moving to India, his sister Priyanka admits to the camera that she finds it … odd … that Jen is visiting like this. Simply put, no one comes home to meet the family in their culture.
Jen makes polite conversation about Rishi’s mom’s search for a wife for him
This is when Jen learns that she has been searching for a wife for him for two years. That is the duration of their engagement. So yeah, Jen is feeling a little irritated, and not at her future mother-in-law.
It’s another piece of dishonesty
Jen just wants Rishi to be completely honest with her, instead of telling her what he thinks that she wants to hear.
Kris Foster and Jeymi Noguera
Nooooo, this season has one of those awkward translation devices! We have seen them make relationship problems genuinely worse, so that’s not great. It turns out that Jeymi and Kris had no problem communicating online, but it’s harder in person. Reading English and understanding spoken English are different.
Anyway, Kris wants to go shopping
She wants to go to some sort of weapon store. Part of it is because Kris worries about their safety. She has heard of criminals targeting Americans in Colombia (true, but that seems to mostly be in resorts, right?). Also, there was a time when someone punched Jeymi in the face and stole her phone.
There is also a cultural aspect
We might not understand it any more than Jeymi does, but she has always had weapons. She comes from a small Alabama town with the population of a large high school. Apparently, that comes with an extensive knife collection.
And Kris is after a knife today
She points out a tactical knife. Jeymi had no idea what to expect, as she had been imagining some sort of pocket knife.
What an expression!
Jeymi agrees that Kris can get the knife — partners should always agree on things like weapons in their home, for many good reasons. She does ask that it not be in the bedroom, which is very reasonable. Kris agrees.
Context!
Remember that promo that seemed to show Jeymi calling Kris a “psychopath” during this outing? Well, it was misleading.
She worried that the clerk would think that
Always a good idea to remember that promos and teaser trailers seldom offer context.
Kris tells Jeymi that she got her first knife like that when she turned 8
That is … kind of sad to think about, actually.
Jeymi’s response is fantastic
“Great! I got a Barbie,” is going to live rent-free in our heads for a while.
Nicole Sherbiny and Mahmoud Elsherbiny
After they spent so much of their first night in conflict, things were better when they woke up.
Nicole is in the bathroom
It is not a bathroom that most Americans would expect. The floor around the toilet is also the shower floor. After showering, Nicole must squeegee the water into a drain. She feels self-conscious about how much time she spends in the bathroom. One of the many perks of getting their own place would be her getting to spend a normal amount of time in the bathroom for her morning routine without impacting anyone else.
Nicole also begins to cry
She talks about how she feels a little homesick, and about how she’s sad that she and Mahmoud were already fighting. The homesickness is so normal — even people moving much shorter distances under much less emotionally fraught circumstances sometimes cry. Moving is stressful. But the other stuff … is Nicole ever going to be happy living with Mahmoud, or living in Egypt?
With encouragement from his mom, Mahmoud keeps checking on Nicole
In their room, he talks to her about her sadness. It doesn’t seem like he fully understands. Meanwhile, his mom is not being shy about paying attention. One can really see why Nicole feels a little overwhelmed living in his family home.
The two leave the house
When Nicole wants to stop by a diner, Mahmoud admits that he’s not sure if the diner allows women. That is … something to process. Though it’s good to remember that the United States had restaurants for men only until several decades ago — around the time when banks first allowed women to open their own bank accounts. Anyway, the person at this place assures Mahmoud that Nicole being there is no problem.
Mahmoud elaborates on how going out has a gender divide
He says that his friends go places to hang out and be themselves, which they apparently cannot do around women. Nicole asks if she can meet his friends. This is, she notes, very normal for American spouses.
Mahmoud finds it an odd request
He does not know if his friends will go for it. They might think that speaking to her would be disrespectful towards his marriage. Mahmoud does acknowledge that this is not true for all of Egypt, but it is for him and his friends. In Cairo, he notes, men and their wives might go out to hang out with friends together.
Mahmoud agrees
He doesn’t seem to realize that Nicole would like to make friends in Egypt. She didn’t get to before, and she left her existing friends behind in Los Angeles. But, to his credit, he agrees … just this once.
“And never ever ask that again”
Okay, that made it weird
Dinner actually goes well!
Nicole meets Mahmoud’s four close friends. Things seem awkward at first, but they break the ice a little. Nicole asks them some normal questions, like how they know Mahmoud (they grew up as neighbors) and what they thought when he told them about his desire to marry her.
That one was tricky
Mahmoud translated, but he didn’t include the part about having only known her for 30 days beforehand. Does he feel embarrassed? Or is this about one of his friends having a similarly short engagement?
One of Mahmoud’s friends also wants an American wife
Mahmoud jokes that American women are “crazy,” quickly assures Nicole that he doesn’t mean her, and Nicole ends up feeling anxious and wishing that she hadn’t suggested this. Awkward.