90 Day Fiance: Happily Ever After? stars Larissa Lima and Colt Johnson are very divorced, and fans are relieved.
Larissa has moved on with her new boyfriend.
Despite allegedly being a nymphomaniac, Colt has been taking time for himself and spending time with his mom.
Except that ne now appears to have a special woman in his life.
At least, that's what fans are assuming based upon a "very sexy" hint that he shared.
Take a look:
Colt Johnson has a girlfriend!
At least, that is what fans are assuming based upon the "very sexy" content that Colt just shared on social media.
He and Larissa are done
After Larissa's last court date, she and Colt do not actually have to see each other again. Their divorce was finalized months ago.
Even their careers are no longer intertwined
It's been weeks since they filmed the 90 Day Fiance: Happily Ever After? Tell All, so they likely won't have to appear on camera together ever again -- unless they choose to.
Colt's been pretty single for a while now
He did have one date, actually
Remember Coltee's divorce party?
He and Larissa both held divorce parties at Crazy Horse III, a gentlemen's club in Vegas. A woman named Samantha Harris "won" a contest to be Colt's date.
She did not have a good time
Eyewitness accounts described Samantha looking bored at best during Colt's celebration. It probably didn't help that he allegedly drank so much that his friends had to carry him out. (To be fair, it was his party!)
But what's this now?
Colt has some news to share with fans, and he put it out there on social media.
Coltee went shopping!
He purchased some lingerie and he wanted to make sure that all of his fans and followers knew it, so he posted it to his Instagram Stories.
It was "Very Sexy"
It says so right on the bag. Notably it says that it's a push-up and Brazilian panty.
When he was with Larissa, we suppose that all of the panties were "Brazilian." (Because she's from Brazil ...). Okay, a terrible joke, but not the worst one made about this.
Isn't it a little later for Mother's Day?
90 Day Fiance blogger John Yates made a TERRIBLE joke about Colt's unhealthy, codependent relationship with his mother, Debbie. An awful joke ... that we were morally obligated to show you.
Okay, but real talk
Loving your mother is great. Living with your mom, because of finances or to take care of her or whatever, is a normal thing to do -- up to a point. The way that Colt seems to treat his mom as, on an emotional level, a surrogate partner is what fans find so unhealthy.
Speaking of unhealthy
We just want to make it 100% clear that this lingerie is 100% not for Larissa. They are very much done with each other and out of each other's lives, hopefully forever.
Not even therapy could fix what was broken
Their relationship was deeply toxic, in a way that was more than the sum of their parts.
Debbie said it best
Larissa and Colt never needed to be together in the first place
So who is the new woman in his life?
Colt didn't share any names. He didn't even show a partial face. You may recall that his castmate, Jonathan Rivera, slowly teased his girlfriend's existence for weeks, showing her in masks and disguised by filters, until he revealed her face on Wednesday, June 12. Is that what Colt plans to do next?
Suffice it to say that it's not Samantha Harris
Her latest social media activity is about wanting tacos, not dangerously undercooked meat. Fun fact: Samantha actually follows Larissa on Instagram. Interesting to see someone go on a date with a guy and start following his ex wife. Maybe she was just entertained by the drama -- we certainly are.
Whoever it is ...
We wish her and Colt the best of luck. Sometimes, two personalities mesh really well. Other times, they fall apart.
And Colt's new GF will have an additional challenge
She won't just need to get along well with Colt. She'll also need to win approval from Debbie. That may be challenging, though Debbie may be happy to see anyone walk through her door if it isn't Larissa.
Speaking of Larissa
She appears to have issued a response of her own to Coltee's panty purchase
Wearing small pieces of flattering fabric is gender-neutral
As you can see, Larissa's young, hot boyfriend Eric(kee) really fills out his speedo in Larissa's Instagram Stories.
Maybe it's just a coincidence ...
Or maybe Larissa wants to remind her fans and followers that she's totally unconcerned about Colt's current romantic life.
She can't address it directly
Remember, her divorce agreement means that she and Colt are forbidden from speaking ill of each other. Which means that they effectively can't speak about each other at all. Larissa isn't allowed to bash Debbie, either.