90 Day Fiance: The Other Way‘s second season is winding to a close.
On Season 2, Episode 21, multiple stars and their parents and in-laws found themselves not seeing eye to eye.
First, Ariela’s mom all but begs her to come home with her before her own departure.
Sumit invites his parents, planning to tell them his wedding plans, but they only agree to the visit because they want to take him away from Jenny.
Deavan and Jihoon get the apartment ready before Deavan’s parents visit.
Tim gives Melyza news that could mean the heat death of their relationship.
And Brittany meets with Yazan and then with his brother, this time with a translator.
This is how she finds out exactly how dire things are … and that Yazan’s life has been threatened.
Ariela Weinberg and Biniyam Shibre
Once again, it’s time for Ariela tot ake her mother to the airport. Janice is reluctant to go and leave her daughter and grandson behind, especially after witnessing the conflict with Biniyam’s family.
Janice is alarmed
To the camera, she confesses that she’s more worried about leaving Ariela behind now than she was before, when Ariela was pregnant.
She begs Ariela to speak her mind
“Honestly, do you really want to stay here?” Janice asks before she departs. “You gave up a lot to come here. If you have any doubts, don’t hide them. Let them come out…We will help you in any way that we can.”
Ariela insists that it’s worth it to live as a family
“I would cry if I weren’t just so exhausted,” Ariela admits. “Am I making the right decision about where to live? I don’t know. But I definitely want Avi to be with his father. That’s no question.”
Another early morning
It’s the day of the baptism (if you’re keeping score, this is the billionth thing on which Ariela has stated her preferences and then caved to Biniyam), and they are up in the pre-dawn darkness.
This is SUCH a big deal to the Shibre family
While Biniyam’s sisters appear to have a literal belief that this baptism is the only thing that will keep baby Avi from eternal torture, at times it sounds more like Biniyam simply does things because his family expects it and he hasn’t really considered doing things another way, because he seems to find behaving other than expected to be ridiculous. That said, we’re seeing this through the lens of the camera.
It’s a mass baptism
We guess that the workaround that Biniyam’s aunts promised to get Avi baptised with Ariela having to convert was that it was a mass baptism. Ariela is feeling deeply awkward at another religion’s gathering, which is a pretty much universal experience.
Biniyam jokes about her discomfort
We are NOT saying that Biniyam is stupid, but he has a tendency to act as if any other way of doing things is silly or someone else’s problem, which is probably why he consistently ignores Ariela’s point of view. He provides emotional comfort but refuses to change — from being a better communicator to opening up to the idea of compromise. It’s a little frustrating to watch.
Baby sandwich?
There is an Ethiopian custom in which a newly baptised baby is wrapped in bread. Unlike a few other things that have come up in this relationship, this is a harmless and even charming custom that doesn’t harm or infringe upon the rights of anyone. Also, after watching it, I’m now craving enchiladas.
Biniyam’s family was overjoyed
Remember, to them this is more than just a cultural expectation, as at least some members of the Shibre family want the baptism out of sincerely held religious beliefs.
Um … condescending much?
We’re going to give Wish the benefit of the doubt and assume that English being a second language is why she sounds like she’s praising a well-behaved dog when she talks about Ariela.
Jenny Slatten and Sumit Singh
Jenny is where we left her last week — crying after being warned by Sumit’s brother, Amit, that she will never be accepted by their parents because of her age.
It’s awkward
It’s not that we don’t all understand Jenny’s tears, and we’re sure that Amit and Sharee do, too. It’s just deeply awkward.
Sharee has a good suggestion
She advises Sumit to tell his parents about his plans for the ring ceremony and marriage, simply because it will be worse if they find out indirectly.
But it won’t be easy
Amit knows that this news will cause a fight between Sumit and his parents, who are refusing to budge on their condemnation of this romance.
Sumit takes their advice
For that reason, he tells Jenny that he wants to postpone the ring ceremony until after he informs his parents.
Okay …
But Jenny is tired of waiting and she is apprehensive. The last time that she saw his parents, they were storming into the apartment to take Sumit away.
Sumit is in good spirits
He acknowledges that, logically, he should be afraid, but he’s focused on positive thoughts and trying to be optimistic about his parents coming to visit.
Tough crowd …
Sumit’s mom, who appears to be the president of the I Hate Jenny Club, says that they did not want to come visit their son because of Jenny.
“We don’t like her”
To be clear, their dislike of her is because she’s old, and because they mistakenly believe that she violated their hospitality by having sex with their (adult) son when she visited India seven years earlier.
They DID decide to visit
But Sumit’s mom explains that their agenda is that they want to take Sumit to live back home with them — every 32-year-old man’s dream.
Sumit quashes that right away
Jenny cannot understand the words being said, but she’s there for the family meeting as Sumit assures his parents that he is not going to come home to live with them.
He just wants them to be happy that he is happy
His mother cannot stop being controlling, and says that she will never be happy with his “wrong decision.” By all rights, that should be her problem and only her problem, but she’s trying to make it his, too.
They can’t stop him
Earlier, they believed that his parents could stop him from marrying. Now, they have found an alternative route to marriage to which his parents cannot object.
“There is no law above parents’ law.”
This brainrotten nonsense that Sumit’s parents are spouting is a great example of the difference between cultural differences — what people eat, how they dress, what holidays they celebrate, what languages they speak — and moral right and wrong. Asserting that you get to control your adult son’s life because of the happenstance of being family occurs in many cultures, and it’s always wrong.
He wants their blessing to marry her
“Over our dead bodies” is wildly dramatic, and Sumit’s mom isn’t the only one flipping out over her son’s love life.
Sumit’s dad weighs in
He tells Sumit to find a 100-year-old, clearly arguing that Jenny’s age makes her ridiculous for a partner.
They’re SO bent out of shape over what people think
Sumit’s parents whine about how others will think less of them if her son’s wife is this much older than he is. Once again, this is them choosing to have a problem and then choosing to make this their son’s problem.
“I can’t do this to this family”
Jenny cannot understand the words being spoken, but the tone and facial expressions are unmistakable. It’s not going well. As the yelling and crying continue, Jenny gets up and walks away, feeling a misplaced sense of guilt over what is happening to that family and saying that maybe she should just return to the US.
Deavan Clegg and Jihoon Lee
We continue with the uncomfortable experience of watching this doomed marriage play out on screen. Deavan is shown asking Jihoon to help tidy up because her mom is coming over. Is she supposed to be a “nag” in this edit? Like we’ve seen 90 Day Fiance stretch to give stars villain edits before, but “hey let’s do some cleaning before my mom comes over” is an almost universal human experience.
Elicia arrives
Deavan’s parents arrive at the house, and Elicia is visibly relieved to see how much better it is than the weird efficiency that Jihoon showed her much earlier in the season.
Jihoon wants to involve everyone in a tradition
Since they’re having a second wedding (remember, they are already married), Jihoon walks them through what’s essentially a ritual of exchange for a new couple before they are married.
Squid masks!
We’re sure that, as was commented, these masks — worn traditionally to ward off evil spirits — do not smell great. But let’s not forget how goofy many traditions in the US would sound if we had to explain them to someone with no frame of reference. Hollow pumpkins start to smell less than stellar after a few days, too, and I’d *love* to hear most people try to explain their Christmas decorations.
Jihoon brings a box
The Hahm box is full of objects that are supposed to be auspicious for a marriage.
Then he has to go find Deavan
It’s a game of hide-and-seek featuring masks made of dead squid. Amazing. Deavan even jokes about how Jihoon has just traded her for a box of goodies.
The fitting
Deavan admits that she is still nervous because she’s unsure if her mother actually approves of Jihoon as her partner or not, even though they’re already married. Jihoon’s mom seems to finally approve of her, so she’s hoping that Elicia will match that.
Success!
“I support the marriage for you and the kids, and I think Jihoon is going to be fine,” Elicia says. Unfortunately, her prediction about her son-in-law would not ultimately pan out.
Tim Clarkson and Melyza Zeta
Tim confesses to Melyza that he has to leave Columbia and return to the US. He has been unable to get work in Columbia, as he would have to convince a company to not only hire him but to sponsor him for a work visa, so he needs to return home while he still has money for a ticket, basically.
Melyza is hurt
We know that apparently some viewers struggle to follow Melyza’s feelings because she expresses them using her big-girl words instead of by screaming, crying, or throwing things, but she is clearly unhappy even though she acknowledges that this is not solely Tim’s doing.
He swears that he’ll return
This is not him making excuses to drag things out and he’s afraid that she’ll see it that way, that she’ll think that after this he’ll find another excuse.
They both have misgivings
As a result of Tim’s cheating and Melyza having dated while they weren’t together, they both have real insecurities to deal with and will likely fear that the other will date while they are away. That said, they’ve patched things up so well now that this seems unlikely. Goodbye is not a breakup.
Oh, Tim
Tim goofily tries and fails to pack a bunch of framed photos, and instead gifts them to Melyza to keep.
This is hard
Tim tears up. He loves Melyza and he’s going to miss her. He also knows that they’d be together and likely married already if it weren’t for one stupid night when he cheated, causing their romance to do a reset.
This is hard for both of them
“I’m not moving back to run away from you. I’m moving back so I can run back to you,” he has promised Melyza. He also acknowledges that he brought more hope with him when he moved and less of a solid plan.
Melyza had hopes, too
Now they’re going long-distance for a little while, and it seems like they may have missed their moment.
They kiss goodbye
Well, it’s a pre-goodbye. Tim is tearful when he actually boards the plane.
Only then do Melyza’s tears flow
This girl is so relatable sometimes, only crying after he has boarded the plane as she laments their situation to the camera.
Brittany Banks and Yazan Abo Horira
Brittany and Angela meet up with Yazan for dinner. Because he worries that some of what he says will get lost in translation, they bring a translator, Adam, to make sure that the nuances are all conveyed.
His family has kicked him out
Yazan explains through Adam that the reason that he has been acting the way that he has is because of the bewildering amount of pressure that his family is applying to him.
Here’s why he’s impatient to marry her
Continuing as they are, he fears, would lead to them disowning him, and being with her at all — even if they married then and there — might have the same result.
WHOA
Brittany, much like Britney Spears in “Oops … I Did It Again,” literally did not ask Yazan to sacrifice his relationship with his family for her, and she never would.
But Yazan is willing
He vows to her that he will do anything, sacrifice anything to be with her on a permanent basis.
Angela says goodbye
After spending a week in Jordan to visit Brittany, Angela is packing her bags to head home. She says that she does understand why Brittany loves Yazan.
Brittany is in a weird place
She is simultaneously worried about Yazan and his family AND concerned that maybe he is using his family situation to get her to overlook the inexcusable way that he has spoken to her.
Brittany meets with Obaida
Yazan is a member of 90 Day Fiance’s unofficial “hot stars with hotter brothers” hall of fame, and Obaida wants to talk to Brittany — with Adam in tow — to give her a perspective that Yazan will not or cannot. Notably, Brittany is so leery at first because she is unsure of how Obaida views her.
Brittany doesn’t want to be a problem
She explains to him that she loves Yazan and wants to be with him but does not want to destroy his family ties.
It’s so much worse than she knows
Obaida admits that he is afraid for his brother. While what his father said was an expression used in anger, Obaida has concerns that some of their very conservative family members might literally inflict physical violence upon Yazan over this relationship.
Brittany had no idea how opposed they were
He explained that the fear is that Yazan will marry Brittany and then suddenly become more Western and less traditional. (Spoiler alert: this is literally exactly what Yazan wants, which is one of many reasons why he is not dating local girls of whom his family would approve)
This is devastating to hear
No one wants to ruin their loved ones’ familial relationships, and Yazan has truly not conveyed the whole of this to Brittany, so she’s learning it from Obaida. It’s understandable that Brittany cries when she learns the situation.
Obaida offers words of comfort
He reassures her that Yazan loves her, which is really not her worry.
She is desperate to fix this
But Obaida tells her that merely pretending to convert to Islam to appease the family is no good, as Islam is a faith of conviction — you don’t just put on a hat that says “Muslim!” and go about your business, so she wouldn’t be fooling anyone. And, as Yazan’s uncle pointed out, there’s no point converting if it’s not what you believe. So Brittany is left to wonder how to fix this mess that she didn’t even cause.