90 Day Fiance: Asuelu Tackles Tammy to Save Kalani!
by Simon Delott at .90 Day Fiance: Happily Ever After? Season 6, Episode 14 showed ominous foreshadowing and some explosive fights.
Kalani was worried that things would go poorly when Asuelu's family came to visit.
But she can't have imagined how heated things would get - or that the fight would turn physical.
Meanwhile ...
Michael goes to the clinic for a life-changing fertility evaluation, and Angela plans the next step.
Brandon and Julia's apartment-warming party goes awry when Julia drops a bombshell.
Libby is thrilled that her dad is Team Andrei, but she knows that his big plan is going to be a disaster.
Jovi and Yara's date night proves to be a trainwreck and has a catastrophic ending.
Mike and Natalie aren't just separated, they're on very different pages about whether to make things worse.
Mike's mom does offer some advice, but he's not ready to take it.
Tiffany and Ronald go to couples counseling ... with a pastor who happens to be Ronald's uncle.
Things do not go well.
1. Kalani Faagata and Asuelu Pulaa
With Lesina and Tammy in town, Kalani admits to the camera that she feels like "the devil" is at her doorstep. A flowering description of the tension, based upon bad experiences and violent threats from past interactions.
2. Tammy is still Tammy
Arriving at Kalani's parents' home, Tammy immediately begins discussing the house's size and that of the yard, like an appraiser. It's clear that she's saying that Asuelu (who very notably did not purchase that house) has the money, directly or indirectly, to participate in the multigenerational pyramid scheme that Lesina has demanded of him in the past.
3. Things stay amicable for a bit
The families dine together in relative peace ... until of course someone has to change that.
4. Lesina wants money
Asuelu's mother tells him that she's returning to Samoa the following month, and wants him to send her money while she's there. As has been stated before, there are some customs of helping one's family in Samoan culture, but Kalani's dad is also Samoan and says that Lesina's characterization is ... a little self-serving. "Help" is not the same as "payments on demand." There is also worry that Lesina will give away this support and ask for more money, as she has done in the past.
5. Asuelu decided to break the tension
He has them do a gift exchange, which leads to a lot of laughs until he gives Kalani a conversation-starter -- a baby blanket. This was in poor taste (and may have been planned by production), but there's no way that anyone involved realized how far this would go.
6. What do you mean you don't want to have nine kids?
Lesina is seemingly baffled that Kalani isn't eager to have a third child when they already have two young children. Asuelu has said that he would, ideally, have seven children, which seems farcical -- not only in terms of childcare required, but because he and Kalani do not have anything close to the substantial source of income that this would require.
7. Lesina starts pushing scary tradwife ideas
She says that she grew up under a cultural expectation that she would abide by her husband's wishes, which is why she had NINE children.
8. And what about it?
As Kolini points out, that's Lesina's choice (well, sort of), but that doesn't have anything to do with Kalani or what she decides to do with her own uterus.
9. This is not what Asuelu wanted
As Tammy and Lesina grow hostile towards Kolini (apparently, they're allowed to make demands of Kalani all that they want, but the minute that Kolini defends her sister, she's overstepping?), Asuelu asks them to cool it.
10. Instead of cooling it, things become heated
Lesina starts pushing for Asuelu to find a new wife, one in Samoa who will obey him and encourage him to obey Lesina. Suddenly, everyone is standing and voices are raised. With Tammy's multiple violent threats in mind, things are looking bad.
11. Asuelu to the rescue?
Seemingly without saying much of anything, he steps in front of his wife and herds (and half-tackles) his mother and his sister out.
12. BYE
There are probably more diplomatic ways to avert an incident of violence, but no one can question that this was effective.
13. Lesina is furious
While Tammy mostly looks shocked, Lesina screams "we don't like you anymore" through the closed door behind them. Is she speaking to Kalani or to Asuelu?
14. Angela Deem and Michael Ilesanmi
Michael is nervously waiting at the fertility clinic to test his sperm.
15. This could be life-changing
Part of the issue is that Michael does not masturbate, at all, apparently on religious grounds. That's his choice to make (yes, masturbation is good for you, but nobody has to do it), but it does mean that providing a semen sample will be a unique experience.
16. Angela is going along with all of this
She doesn't want to have a baby -- she wants to enjoy her new body instead of going through with a ridiculous plan to have a child who would be several years younger than its nieces and nephews. But she wants to keep Michael happy, and since yelling and screaming at him isn't doing the trick, she's going to try dishonesty instead.
17. Angela is her usual sensitive self
She laughs out loud while he meets at the clinic, even saying that there must be something wrong with him since he hasn't had a wet dream (nocturnal ejaculation) in months.
18. Why did we have to see this part
Michael lets Angela and the rest of us know when he nuts, so now we have to live with that for the rest of our lives.
19. Angela remains Angela
Michael just had his first-ever self-induced orgasm but Angela sounds like she's in the mood for one of her own. Thanks for the nightmare fuel.
20. Later, Angela goes clothes-shopping with her daughter
Angela and Skyla go to find clothes since Angela's don't fit anymore. She is down several sizes and nearly 100 pounds at this point. Since apparently she doesn't know about purses, she'll need new bras in which to store things, we guess.
21. She tries to bribe Skyla
Angela offers to buy Skyla an outfit if she'll go with her to the fertility clinic, but she promises that it's not that she's trading a set of clothes for Skyla's egg -- instead, she hopes that the clinic will tell her that she cannot safely do a pregnancy at her age, giving her an excuse to give Michael a hard "no."
22. Brandon Gibbs and Julia Trubkina
There's something special about your first shopping trips for a new place, especially if you've just moved in together with a friend, a partner, multiple partners, or some combination. It's like an oddly public intimacy. In Brandon and Julia's case, the intimacy is even more public, because they're shopping on camera as they get supplies for a small housewarming party.
23. AJ arrives first
AJ introduced Brandon and Julia, and greets them both with hugs. If we had to guess, we'd say that it's probably been a while since they got to hang out at this point, given the pandemic.
24. Julia's a big fan of AJ
She compares him to Cupid, though without knowing the Roman God of Love's name off of the top of her head, she describes "flying" and then mimes shooting a bow and arrow. Adorable.
25. Melanie and TJ ... have a more complicated history with Julia
While we're sure that a lot of their conflict is played up for the camera, Julia has insecurities about Brandon's past friendship with Melanie. Meanwhile, it's a testament to how secure Brandon is about his marriage that he's fine inviting total smokeshows like TJ to hang out around his wife, but that's neither here nor there.
26. Julia is trying to take it in stride
In the past, she was embarrassingly jealous about Melanie, and Melanie also asked some unkind and intrusive (but also likely requested by producers) questions about Julia's intentions.
27. Julia has plans for the apartment
They've just moved in and have a lot of unpacking to do, but Julia wants to buy a pole to practice dancing. That could be a great idea, though there are viral videos of poles that were not installed correctly, so ... be careful, Julia.
28. She also wants a CRIB?!?!
Julia drops this bombshell and takes everyone off guard. 27 is barely at an age where it's considered normal for Millennials to have kids, but it's less about age and more about her and Brandon's stage in life. They've escaped the nightmare farm for only like 40 hours and she's talking about trying for a baby.
29. Julia gets this a lot
She characterizes people's hostile reactions to her having a baby already. On the one hand, it's understandable that she's sick of people's opinions. On the other ... well, their opinions make sense. That said, this is solely up to Brandon and Julia.
30. Theirs are the only votes that count
However (and thankfully), Brandon is vetoing this. He unfortunately decides to joke about "checking the condoms" for holes. Sabotaging birth control would be reproductive coercion, which is a form of sexual assault. Joking that your wife would do something that evil to you is ... not in great taste.
31. Julia excuses herself
She slips into the other room to watch TV, but encourages them (albeit unhappily) to continue their party. Awkward.
32. Elizabeth Potthast and Andrei Castravet
Elizabeth asks Andrei to help with the dishes, which of course leads to him negging her about how she thought that she was an "independent" woman. Fun fact: a major relationship red flag is when a man weaponizes ideas like women's empowerment in arguments, such as to get out of doing chores. But we guess that when you're married and have a kid, you've ignored enough red flags that one more doesn't make a difference. Yikes!
33. Anyway, Libby goes to meet her dad
Dining indoors at a restaurant is a baffling choice, especially considering how long ago (thoroughly pre-vax) this was filmed, but Chuck says that it just opened and is an "authentic" Italian restaurant. Those of us who have eaten in Italy know that this could be very good or very bad, but we're impressed by the courage of any restaurant that opens DURING a pandemic.
34. Chuck is very much Team Andrei
He considers his foul-mannered son-in-law an asset to the family business, and feels that Becky, Jenn, and Charlie are JEALOUS -- which is almost exactly what Andrei has been saying. So either Andrei's right about all of this, or Libby's siblings are right and Andrei is just really good at manipulating Chuck. Regardless, Libby is thrilled to hear it.
35. Chuck has a (horrible) idea
Remember how the disastrous yacht get-together went? How about the extremely hostile family reunion where everyone went home separately? Oh, how about the cake-splattering birthday party? Chuck is convinced that what the family needs is a cookout, where everyone will be in the right mood. Sure, Chuck.
36. Disaster
Libby says that things are so bad that she'll fully understand if Andrei goes off on her siblings, and that this is going to be a fustercluck. She's right.
