90 Day Fiance: Happily Ever After? Season 5, Episode 15 had a lot of endings.
We finally get to see the conclusion of Elizabeth's wedding and how things went with Charlie.
Angela raced home as her mother's health worsened.
In Vegas, Colt tried to talk to his mother about butting out of his relationships ... and it did not go well.
Syngin prepares to say goodbye to his family, but they have another suggestion.
Larissa is recovering from surgery and then debuts her new boobs to her friends.
And things get better for Kalani and Asuelu for a little while ... until Asuelu puts their whole family in danger.
Elizabeth Potthast and Andrei Castravet
Last week ended on a cliffhanger as Andrei took a clearly drunk Charlie outside at his reception. Charlie had insulted Andrei in a wedding speech. Ultimately, it's clear that there is some jealousy and resentment at play, and the alcohol made Charlie give it a voice. Fans had wondered if Andrei and Charlie would physically fight -- Charlie, at least, seemed to want that.
Charlie was even rude to his family
He insisted that he was going to "protect" his dad, though Chuck explained that he's actually being disrespectful. Charlie thinks that Elizabeth is somehow stealing her dad's money? People can be downright deranged over the possibility of inherited wealth.
Jenn did her best
She explained to the camera that she was reasonably certain that she had talked her drunken brother out of trying to fight the groom ... that night, anyway.
Andrei spoke to Chuck
He actually said "I'm sorry" to him, which is HUGE for Andrei, whose undeserved sense of pride has clouded his judgment and impacted his actions for years.
He tells Elizabeth the news
She spent an awful amount of time at the reception worrying that Andrei and Charlie were both causing problems. Even her father assured her that, no, tonight, Charlie was the instigator and Andrei was exercising good judgment.
Charlie was an embarrassment
In addition to his own friend, Andrei's buddies, including Marcel, kept him occupied to mitigate the damage that he could do.
It didn't stop most of the guests from having a good time. Many of them didn't even seem to notice. Of course, as Jenn speculated, Charlie seemed to get more worked up as he saw how nice the reception was, so what made the reception such a good time for so many others seemed to be the source of Charlie's misery. The ACTUAL source of his unhappiness was Charlie himself. Envy looks so ugly.
But tonight isn't about Charlie
It was about Elizabeth. Despite her fears that her husband will never truly get along with her family, she and Andrei had a mostly great time.
Angela Deem and Michael Ilesanmi
Angela has received heartbreaking news -- her mother was unresponsive and had to be taken to the ICU. So she is packing her bags to fly back to Georgia.
She has some help
Michael, who of course is now her husband, is helping her to pack and is lending emotional support to his wife.
She has a flight to catch
Angela is afraid that her mother's poor health will mean that she doesn't get to meet Michael -- and right now, she's afraid that she herself might not get back in time.
The fear is real
She is not blaming her daughter, but -- like so many of us who have had loved ones in a health crisis or worse while we were away -- she is haunted by guilt that, had she been the caretaker, her mother might be in better health.
Michael is shaken, too
He doesn't know when he's going to see Angela again. They were just married days ago and now she'll be away -- likely for many months.
TLC puts up a card
Angela's mother was alive when she returned to the US to see her. Unfortunately, ten days later, she passed away.
Angela is working to cope
She wishes that her husband were there for emotional support. Even if she files for a spousal visa and gets a best case scenario, that will be over half a year away.
Michael does talk to her
He encourages her to be strong, both as she misses him and as she grieves her mother.
Colt Johnson and Debbie Johnson
With Jess out of the picture, the unsettling vibes are stronger than ever. Working together to clip a cat's nails is a normal family activity, but so much of their dynamic is just ... off.
They order food
Colt is trying vegan mac and cheese for the first time (it's neat to try new things but I am so picky about my mac and cheese that I'd want to try it off screen first, to be honest). This is when we learn that Debbie has no idea how to pronounce "vegan," despite several attempts.
Colt gets serious
Confronting his mother, he asks her to try to take a step back from his relationships and not interfere the way that she has. Without acknowledging that the real problem in each of these failed romances was, well, Colt himself, he explains to her that he needs for her to butt out a little in his future romances. (We agree, if only so that Colt no longer has someone else to blame when his relationships collapse)
Debbie does NOT like this
Obviously angry, she insists that Jess was just trying to use him for a Green Card. This is patently absurd, to the point where we can only imagine Debbie thinking this if she just assumes that no woman would date Colt without an ulterior motive. Oh, Debbie.
He wants to be treated like an adult
Colt explains his position to his mother, suggesting that the things that she does for him, like laundry, are maybe doing him a disservice -- or at least making him look bad to girlfriends and to viewers. (Colt is older than I am and, as someone who hasn't had his laundry done by someone else since the Bush administration, I agree that it's time for Debbie to step back) Debbie tells the camera that it'll be a cold day in Hell before she does his laundry again. Wow, you can really see why he was so hesitant to bring this up. She is LIVID.
Jess even addressed this
Sunday night, she took to her Instagram Stories to shoot down Debbie's absurd claim. The same was said of Larissa, and it didn't make sense then, either. Colt did the same thing with both of them, sending pics of his willy out all willy-nilly. Neither of them would have cared if they weren't really trying for a relationship with Colt. If anything, being cheated on is kind of a relief if you're just in it for a Green Card -- you get more time to yourself!
Jess also shared this
Okay, this made me laugh way too much.
Syngin Colchester and Tanie Maduro
Syngin is in South Africa and preparing for his trip home to "cold" Connecticut. The summers in Connecticut are hot and humid and the winters are mild unless you're far from the coast, and Syngin sits there wiping sweat from his forehead while insisting he's "enjoying" the hideous sunlight and heat. Some people are climate masochists.
They'll be home soon, but ...
He and Tania have had multiple arguments in front of others, and it's really putting a further strain on their already rocky marriage. They are having serious compatibility issues.
Syngin's family has their worries
His mom in particular talks to him about whether or not he wants to keep up with this marriage, because otherwise he is wasting his time and energy and Tania's, and that's not fair to either of them. Honestly? That's true. I like this couple and I'm rooting for them but I am also baffled that anyone would try to keep a relationship going if it becomes difficult for even an instant. What's the point?
Syngin says no
He thinks that if he cuts and runs, he will simply be repeating old habits of not taking things seriously or settling down. Is he just using this as an excuse when he really just means that he loves Tania, or is he straight-up saying that he's going to stay married to prove to himself that he can maintain a commitment? The love thing is fine ... don't stay married just to prove a point.
He needs to reach a decision
His mom suggests that if he decides that he doesn't want to stay married, he could save time, money, and emotional pain by remaining in South Africa. But that's a no.
That's not to say that everything is going well
Syngin is the first to admit that they're having communication issues. It sounds like they have a lot of work ahead of them.
Larissa Lima and Eric Nichols
Larissa is still resting after her plastic surgery. She underwent a nose job and a hefty boob job in February. Boyfriend Eric has been tending to her.
Time to check in ...
Larissa and Eric go for a checkup with the plastic surgeon, who explains that, as he had warned her, the boobs hurt the most because the implants are so comically massive. They are under the muscle, so the soreness will be intense for a while.
Eric makes some weird analogies
"I realized I took a bigger bite than I could eat, but I'm still going to finish my plate," Eric says. "I'm going to try to get her back to where she was, is what I'm going to do. I'm not going to stop in the middle of the frickin' danger zone when there are bullets flying and just quit." Okay, real talk? We kind of think that producers asked him to come up with a few analogies, and he did, assuming that they would play just one. Instead, they played several.
We get his meaning
He's trying to say that he's not going to break up with Larissa just because tending to her post-surgery is a lot of work. He and Larissa have a tremendous amount of love for each other.
Two months later ...
Larissa unveils her new boobs and new nose, having recovered. And she and Eric have invited friends Carmen and Hannah over to see them.
Larissa has an ulterior motive
She says that she hopes that knowing that Eric has been tending to her for months will help them to see that he is a good person.
Look at their faces!
They are blown away by her new rack. Larissa also spills that she and Eric sleep in different rooms, because they both need their own space "like cats." Honestly? More couples should try that if they think that they might like it.