Behold, 17 unbelievably unsuccessful attempts to be sexy from the Internet. At least what they lack in hotness, they make up for with humor.
Unintentional comedy, yes, but comedy just the same.
We hope some of these are in jest, but we're guessing not all of them can say that. Or any of them, given the current state of humanity ...
Toilet Paper = SO SEDUCTIVE
Nothing will get you fired up than a cute girl posing on the throne with a roll of two-ply.
When you're ready come and get it, na na na na ... I'll be STANDING IN THE TOILET.
Just not the way she intended.
Car Wash Fail
Sometimes it's just not meant to be.
If this doesn't turn you on, just wait until he pulls out his other ... never mind.
Nothing screams sexy, strong woman like striking a pose after a natural disaster.
That's dirty, but only in the literal sense.
Pretty much always the antithesis of sexy, but never more than right here and now.
Not quite as terrible as June Shannon overall, but "Wrecking Ball" didn't really do it for us that way.
Nothing says sexy like posing for a lingerie selfie with your toddler by your side.
Work That Pole
Better luck next time.
The Ultimate Turn On
Does my recorder arouse you?
Sexy Fat Dude
Admit it. You'd it it.
Make it rain.
Whoever's kid this is, he is either insanely lucky or scarred for life.