13 Reasons Angelina Jolie is the Antichrist

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Did you know that Satan has an alias?

Oh yes, it's "Angelina Jolie."

She also goes by Beezlebub, Evil One, Leviathan, Lucifer, and so on and so forth. By any name, she is the Antichrist. Don't believe us?

The proof is in her whole life's work ...

1. She was into knife-play at 14 years old

She was into knife-play at 14 years old
When Jolie was a mere 14 years old, she would engage in knife-play with her live-in lover. She said, "You're young, you're drunk, you're in bed, you have knives; shit happens." She claimed she was all about that S&M life, and she and her boyfriend would "scratch" each other with the knives.

2. She's done every drug under the sun, but slams Pitt for pot and alcohol

She's done every drug under the sun, but slams Pitt for pot and alcohol
In an interview with the Sunday Times, Jolie advised the paper that she'd "tried every drug under the sun," including heroin and cocaine. Hypocrite much?

3. Girl's in deep with the Illuminati

In perhaps the most horrifying, non-sensical video you've ever seen, Jolie discusses the Illuminati, nipple twisting, being tied down or going "mad," and sacrificing her pet snake. We don't know where she's going with this, but it's scary as hell.

4. She wore her ex-husband's blood in a vial around her neck

She wore her ex-husband's blood in a vial around her neck
Vampirism? Hemophiliac? Anemic? Antichrist? We don't know, but that time Angelina Jolie wore Billy Bob Thornton's blood in a vial around her neck was pretty damn creepy, wasn't it? It was also reported that when the two divorced, Jolie asked for five of her own vials of blood back so that Thornton wouldn't be able to "curse" her. Yikes.

5. She reportedly keeps her kids' bloody bandages

She reportedly keeps her kids' bloody bandages
According to a report by In Touch, Jolie saves her kids' used bandages and puts them in a jar. Who knows why. Maybe to hex them when they're misbehaving teenagers or something, we don't know, but if that's true, it's terrifying.

6. That weird electric attraction between her and her brother

That weird electric attraction between her and her brother
In perhaps the most inappropriate brother-sister relationship in Hollywood, Angelina Jolie has always been thisclose to her look-alike brother, James Haven. If the above photo weren't indication enough that things are a little strange between the two, she's been pictured kissing him fully on the mouth - for long periods of time - in the past. Maybe she's just that egotistical that it's as close as she can get to making out with herself. Gross.

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Angelina Jolie Biography

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Born
Birthplace
Los Angeles, California
Full Name
Angelina Jolie Voight

Angelina Jolie Quotes

I'm very happy. Unlike most women, I love being pregnant... You just feel like everything about your body is there for your baby.

Angelina Jolie

Yeah, yeah, we've confirmed that already.

Angelina Jolie [after being asked if she's having twins]