This morning's Bachelor in Paradise scandal is so salacious ridiculous, we had no idea how to title our article in its aftermath ...
... and these 13 rejected ideas for headlines just had to be preserved somehow. Because Corinne. And Because DeMario.
If you missed it, Bachelor in Paradise shut down filming when producers complained about a sex act between the two stars.
Corinne, from Nick's season of The Bachelor, and DeMario, from Rachel's season of The Bachelorette, got. it. on. Hardcore.
Too hardcore for producers, who reportedly sent the ENTIRE cast home amid reports that she forced oral sex on him. Really.
There was nudity and "fingering" involved ... and Jackson reportedly couldn't perform for a number of reasons. Or so we hear.
Follow the link above for the (disputed) details, then scroll down for all the different ways we could've/should've headlined it.
Corinne Olympios Nude: Good for Internet Searches, Bad for Uptight Producers
Seriously. Girl is like a gift from the web traffic gods.
Rachel Lindsay, Nick Viall Rejects Ruin Spinoff, Stars Dodge Respective Bullets
It's true. Nick and Rachel's decision-making looks better and better these days.
Bachelor in Paradise? More Like Corinne’s Vagina in DeMario’s Face!
Bachelor Rejects Screw Over Rest of Cast ... Sort of Literally!
Not literally, as DeMario reportedly couldn't get it up. But you get the idea. The rest of the cast paid the price for the sexual hijinks of this duo.
DeMario Jackson Unable to Perform Despite Corinne Olympios' Junk in Face, Bachelor in Paradise Production Halted Indefinitely
Performance anxiety (and/or alcohol abuse) happens to the best of us.
DeMario Jackson Left Flaccid, Traumatized by Bachelor in Paradise Misconduct
And you thought his girlfriend ambushing him on The Bachelorette was awkward.
Corinne Olympios FINALLY Goes Too Far on Bachelor in Paradise
Too click-baity or not click-baity enough we thought. Couldn't decide which.
DeMario Jackson: Unable to Achieve Penetration, Verify if Corinne Olympios' Vagine Truly Platinum
Missed opportunity on so many levels.
Corinne Olympios Just Made Even MORE Enemies By Doing THIS
If Corinne's goal or definition of winning was to make the entire franchise hate her, sabotaging Paradise production is a step in the right direction.
Corinne Olympios Thrusts P---y in DeMario Jackson’s Face, Bachelor in Paradise Producer Calls Timeout
Somehow we don't have a problem believing this happened.
Bachelor in Paradise Contestant Tries Too Hard to Get Attention, Laid
Who would have ever guessed this girl in particular would be involved in such a stunt?!
DeMario Jackson's Penis Pretends it Never Met Corinne Olympios After Botched Boning
His ex-girlfriend can relate.
Bachelor in Paradise Shut Down After Corinne Olympios Forces DeMario Jackson to Perform Oral Sex
That one we could've actually used. Very good summation.