ABC Announces New Cast Of Dancing With The Stars 37195

Feeling nostalgic for the days when you plopped down in front of the tube to see Emmitt Smith trounce Jerry Springer in a the Paso Doble?

Well, it’s time to meet the next round of washed-up celebrities-turned-dancers and re-familiarize yourself with the circumstances of their pseudo-fame.

And the new Dancing With The Stars cast-members are…

Laila Ali, Billy Ray Cyrus, Heather Mills, Clyde Drexler, Joey Fatone, Shandi Finnessey, Leeza Gibbons, Paulina Porizkova, Ian Ziering, Vincent Pastore and Apolo Anton Ohno.**

You might recognize Laila Ali as the daughter of boxing great Mohammad, Billy Ray Cyrus as responsible for the most annoying song in creation and Ian Ziering as unattractive hunk “Steve” from Beverly Hills 90210.

But as for Heather Mills—frankly, we’re just not sure whether an 80’s porn career, quickie marriage to Paul McCartney or losing your fucking mind actually qualifies you as a bona fide former celebrity.

**Names in “bold” for comedic effect.