Kids say the darndest things. Parents then turn around and Tweet the funniest things about those things.
Sex Ed
That would be an interesting item on the course curriculum.
Frozen in Hell
“Let It Go” is definitely playing on repeat.
PARK!
Great moments in safe words.
Just Pretending?
[nods]
82 Percent
That may be conservative.
Fingers Smell Like …
… you can guess, and if you’re a parent, relate.
SNEEZE THEM!
Sometimes kids get words wrong and the result is even better than if they’d gotten them right.
Tiny Dictators
There’s no negotiating with them. There is only the terror of not filling the sippy cup fast enough.
Circle the Block a Few Times?
If only …
Close Enough
Eh, clothes are clothes.
Free Cats and Dogs!
Would be so cool.
Let It Go
Raise your hand if this is you? Yep, we see you over there. (Also typing this one-handed, FYI, because “LET IT GO! LET IT GOOOO!!!!….”)
You Don’t Want to Know
You really don’t.
I’ll Tell on You
They start early.
Fetch!
You know you do it.
Were You Born With Those?
It’s a fair question.
The Firehose
Olivia Wilde has been initiated into the secret society of Boy Moms. And her son has, uh, initiated himself.
RRP5D
Sounds about right.
Cheap Babysitter
Next time you complain about your cable bill, just consider the real potential.
Sticks or …
They do sound similar.
Suave 2 in 1
Hey, whatever works.
Can You Skip That?
If only.
Used Food
Ick. Who wants that.
Tolerance
Must be taught early.
Rabies
Shares similar symptoms with fatigue.
Whine and Wine
Oh, how those words are intertwined.
Dad of the Year
It’s a go-to.
Consensual Massage
Lessons all kids must understand.
Chapstick 2, Vegetables 0
For those keeping score.
No, But DO YOU?
Nobody puts Olaf in the corner, you dig?
Think Faster
Think faster, parents. Geez!
Which is Harder?
The answer might surprise you there.
No, Seriously
Not a rhetorical question. Someone please tell me if you know.