We don’t know these people personally, but certain last names just don’t need to be paired together in a wedding announcement.
Eaton Cox
We know what’s on the menu after the reception! (Sorry)
Fillerup Standing
Not sitting or lying down.
Kumon Topomi
Comment rendered unnecessary.
Looney Warde
Gives new definition to “crazy in love.”
Wang Holder
She looks like she can handle marriage.
Crapp Beer
Guaranteed they served Natural Ice or Milwaukee’s Best at their reception.
Jaeger Meister
Now that’s more like it.
Poore Sapp
Could be said of every guy who ever got married … but especially this one.
Hardy Harr
Their wedding was a joyous affair, filled with laughter.
Kuntz Dick
They fit together like … yeah.
Gowen Geter
He got ‘er done alright.
Ruff Goings
Incredibly, the inevitability of this headline didn’t lead one of them to leave the other at the altar.
Gross Pantti
Doesn’t look like they’d be THAT gross … but point taken.
Golden Showers
It’s always the unassuming ones who are into the kinky stuff.
Appel Bottum
Nelly would approve.
Wacker Dailey
No, this isn’t a distant relative of Chris Brown. (Sorry)
Wendt Adaway
Where did they go after the reception, we wonder?!
Long Wiwi
Better than a Short-Wiwi wedding.
Drinkwine Layer
Why wait?
Busch Rash
It happens to the best of us. Particularly after wedding night … never mind.
Aikin Johnson
Ditto.
Cockman Dickman
Now that is a match made in hog heaven.
MacDonald Berger
If they didn’t hit up the Golden Arches for their first meal as a married couple, this isn’t a planet we wanna be living on.
Best Lay
These two had great chemistry from the start.
Broeker Knuckles
We don’t even wanna know how.
Filler Quick
Sometimes you gotta finish things up and keep it short and sweet.
Beaver Wetter
So, so wet.
Traylor Hooker
Humble beginnings.
Butts McCracken
You can’t make these up.