Late last month, Liz Woods tragically married Big Ed Brown in a private ceremony in Arkansas.
No one, from her fans to her harshest critics, wanted this fate for her.
And nothing that we’re hearing on 90 Day: The Last Resort, which filmed much earlier this year, is making this seem like a happier outcome.
On the latest episode, Ed whined about their sex life. Liz explained that their sex life had gone downhill because Ed was terrible at it.
On the Monday, September 4 episode of 90 Day: The Last Resort, the normal panel of couples counselors and therapists of varying degrees of legitimacy added one more.
This time, a sex educator spoke to the group. This was important, as at least a couple of the cast members never had a formal sex education. (Yes, there are countries where things are even more repressed than the US)
There were usual bits of banter, including Big Ed cracking a lame joke and then trying to body-shame Jovi Dufren. That didn’t go over well.
Ed commented that his sex life with Liz had gone downhill. He said that it had previously been an “11,” but was now more of a “5.”
Liz explained exactly why that was.
“I’m not someone to just like stop and give you like five or 10 minutes to catch your breath,” she reasoned. “And then like get back into it.”
“I prefer to get myself off,” Liz said frankly. If your sex life is that bad already, it’s unlikely to improve with time.
“Thinking about being intimate with Ed right now, furthest thing on my mind,” she admitted to the confessional camera.
Liz explained that this is simply “because it’s just really bad.” She confirmed what most viewers had assumed.
“If we don’t try to work on our sex life in the bedroom, the relationship’s over,” Liz claimed.
It should have been over a long time ago. They’ve had a dozen breakups, but she somehow keeps taking him back. So a lot of fans doubt that she’d dump him even if he never manages anything like that.
Liz explained this situation to the sex educator. Simply put, Ed doesn’t seem to be physically capable of engaging with her in sex.
Ed spoke to the confessional camera, arguing that he was trying to get back into shape after surgery.
But Liz knows that this is his explanation. The surgery, she noted, happened months ago — making it some time in 2022.
Liz said that she had no regrets about being honest about his underperformance. Lying to a couples therapist does little good.
However, as we all know, Ed freaks out by anything that he views as less than supportive.
So, even though he was the one who complained about their sex life, Ed accused Liz of “throwing missiles” at him.
He went on to accuse her of deliberately trying to embarrass him. Liz shot that down (with one of her missiles, we suppose) and — thankfully — did not apologize.
Liz also pointed out that Ed had irritated her by constantly cracking jokes — sometimes at the expense of others — during therapy sessions.
“The minute things get serious or I get nervous, I go funny,” Ed claimed. Is he actually funny, though?
“And,” he expressed, “I’m sorry for making jokes instead of paying attention.”
They both acknowledged that there are things that they can both do to improve the relationship.
The best thing for Ed would be for him to work on becoming a thoughtful, polite, halfway-decent person.
And the best thing for Liz would be for her to dump him and move on with her life. Even if he were the only available partner on the planet. Which, for the record, he isn’t.
Unfortunately, Ed seems to have his hooks in Liz.
Fans have long observed that the nearly-60-year-old’s “type” seems to be vulnerable single moms in their 20s. That was Liz’s age when he set his sights on her.
Presumably, the fact that they married about 8 months after filming this should indicate that Ed made improvements, both in and out of the bedroom. But many fans suspect that Liz simply gave up on hoping for something better.