After they used a translator to tell Rishi Singh’s family about the 3-year engagement, Jen Boecher and her friends were on the receiving end of some very harsh words — from fans.
Some 90 Day Fiance: The Other Way viewers did see their point of view. And even Rishi himself spoke up in support of Jen, saying that her friend Randi really did him a favor.
That has not been enough to stem the flood of condemnation.
Now, Jen is speaking out. In a tearful video, she is exposing Rishi’s family. There are things about them that viewers have not seen during their limited screen time.
On both TikTok and Instagram, Jen Boecher addressed her followers — fans and critics alike — after Season 4, Episode 13’s big reveal.
“I know that a lot of people think me and my friends were very rude for going over to the family’s house,” she began.
As we all watched for ourselves, Jen’s friend Randi (by way of a translator) told Rishi’s family that he was engaged to Jen and had been for three years.
Rishi’s family was polite in front of company, expressing some concerns but not showing any signs of outright rejection.
Things changed considerably once Jen and her friends and the translator had left.
Rishi went back inside, where his mother and uncle ceased mincing words.
Rishi’s family expressed more concern about what other people might think than they did about Rishi’s actual happiness.
90 Day Fiance: The Other Way fans have seen this ugly dynamic play out before.
The heartbreak left Rishi in tears. And a lot of viewers seemed more interested in blaming Jen than in blaming the people who had denied Rishi his happiness — or who wanted to, anyway.
So, in her video, Jen shared that she understood the backlash “to a certain degree” … but that’s it.
What Jen does not understand is why some critics believe that she should have humored Rishi’s astrologer and waited another two months to have the exact same conversation. The engagement had already spanned three years.
But the biggest point came when she spoke about Rishi’s family. Because there is more to them than we have seen on screen.
“Let me tell you this about the family. And a lot of people might shame me for it,” Jen shared.
She then listed various “criteria” that Rishi’s family demanded from him for a future wife that he might have.
Apparently, the future Mrs. Rishi “must not be dark skinned,” she “must not be short,” and she “must be educated.”
Colorism sometimes exists within communities that also experience racism. The height requirement is odd for many reasons, including the average height of an Indian woman being just five feet.
“So all you people who think this family is so great,” Jen shared, “they don’t want a dark-skinned daughter-in-law.”
It’s unclear who might have mistaken Rishi’s family for good people after seeing what we have witnessed this season. But it does, at times, feel like different viewers watch completely different shows.
Jen revealed that what “really broke my heart” was hearing Rishi’s uncle refer to Rishi’s brother, his own nephew, as “useless.” Why? Because he has a cognitive impairment.
“I’m sorry if you want Rishi to do the chores around the house because your other nephew is ‘useless,’ but honestly, how dare he?” she asked, growing tearful. “To me, that’s not OK.”
Asking fans to reconsider their feelings, Jen concluded: “There are things that, you know, haven’t come out. A lot of people, if they knew, they would think a whole lot differently.”
The comments included a great deal of support (though not universal), with castmates Debbie Aguero and Nicole Sherbiny cheering her on.
Fiance Rishi expressed: “Shame on me because of me you have tears in your eyes.”
It sounds like he’s not necessarily the cause.