Go ahead and check the calendar, readers.
This is not April Fool's Day.
Yes, we once cracked wise about Kody Brown bringing on a fifth wife - but only out of respect to the quasi-holiday that falls each year on April 1.
We're many months past that date at this point, folks, so the headline about should be taken seriously. As stunning as it may seem.
According to Life & Style, Kody Brown oncee proposed -- yes, he proposed! -- to a 25-year-old woman that he hoped would join his large immediate famiily.
We don't know her name.
We don't know her background.
But we do know rumors have been circulating for years now that Kody was anxious to add a fifth (preferably rather young) spouse to his brood, which includes Robyn, Janelle, Meri and Christine.
We also know the following:
The 25-year old woman turned Kody down!
“He’s heartbroken,” an insider told Life & Style of the 49-year-old, adding:
“He had his sights set on her."
It gets better/worse.
The Kode Man allegedly had his eye on her "as a sister wife replacement for his first wife Meri, but she turned him down.”
As previously noted, Kody's supposed search for a Meri Brown replacement isn't breaking news.
We're written about it multiple times before.
But this is the first we've heard of Brown actually getting down on one knee and actively trying to make a spousal switch -- although it explains a whole lot, doesn't it?
Meri and Kody have clearly been miserable for a very long time.
Yes, they share screen time together each season on Sister Wives, but they spend almost no time together once the cameras stop rolling.
Meri often posts photos from the bed and breakfast she runs in Utah, while Kody has stopped even trying to pretend that things are normal or amicable.
"I think we miss the idea of us -- we don't miss each other," Kody said on a Sister Wives episode this spring, prompting a hurtful response from his first spouse:
"Speak for yourself. I do have a strong draw to you, but I do not act on that because I know how you feel."
"I can't make you care for me. I can't change that."
Kody has also admitted that he and Meri don't sleep together.
The tension between this spiritual husband and wife stems from Kody filing to divorce Meri in 2013 so that he could marry Robyn and legally adopt her kids from a previous relationship.
Following that development, Meri tried to go out on her own and date...
... only to get humiliated by a catfishing scandal, as a woman posing as a man online flirted with Meri and got her hopes way up about establishing a new romance, only to them crash those hopes down a cruel manneer.
Following this misadventure, Kody asked for another woman's hand in marriage.
“She’s beautiful and Kody liked her tomboy spirit,” the Life & Style report read, adding that she was also a divorced mother of two.
“She told him, ‘Let me know if you ever want a young, hot wife.’"
"He was over the moon.”
Obviously. Who doesn't want that?!
In all seriousness, while it seems impossible to believe any actual human female said this too Kody Brown, the anonymous source providing these quotes sure sounds adamant that it happened.
As for why the proposal failed?
“The woman told him she didn’t like the way Robyn controlled him so much,” concluded the insider.
"And said she could no longer see a future with him."
Not so crazy in the sense that Kody was dickish enough to look elsewhere for a wife, but that any woman would even consider marrying this loser.