Jenelle Evans hatches so many ridiculous get-rich-quick schemes that it can be tough to remember all of them — especially the ones that blew up in her almost as soon as she announced them.
You may recall that back in March, Jenelle teamed up with Deavan Clegg of 90 Day Fiance fame to launch a podcast with the unfortunate title of Girl Sh-t.
Before long, word got out about what a horrible person Jenelle is — apparently no one googled her before they hired her — and Clegg got Evans fired from the gig, citing her past abuse of animals as the cause.
For any halfway-sane person, the story would have ended there.
But Jenelle waved bye-bye to the last shreds of her sanity long ago, which is why she’s decided to reignite this feud in the most bizarre way possible.
On Sunday night, Jenelle went live on Instagram, and as usual, she spewed a bunch of ridiculous nonsense, much of which left her vulnerable to lawsuits and/or criminal charges.
Evans announced right off the bat that she would be discussing the Girl Sh-t situation, but we figured she would just rehash the same old gripes she’s already whined about a million times before.
How wrong we were.
Jenelle kicked things off by basically admitting she would be doing a lot of lying.
"This is my truth. Of course, there’s two truths, according to somebody else, but I’m gonna tell mine," she said.
Needless to say, Jenelle wouldn’t fare very well on a witness stand.
From there, Evans said that she signed a non-disclosure agreement, but is now going to break it because "it doesn’t matter."
A brilliant legal mind, if ever there was one.
Evans goes on to say that she went to Tennessee to take part in "a girls’ podcast," but it didn’t go according to plan because of "one certain person."
She was obviously referring to Clegg, whom she then accused of stealing her prescription anxiety meds:
"[Girl Sh-t co-host Gabbie Egan] and Deavan would go out to their cars, separately, and make phone calls, I guess to their families to check up. Which is fine," Evans began.
Then she dropped the bombshell:
"But, when I left Tennessee, my anxiety medicine was missing for my esophagus," she said, adding:
"And I don’t think Gabbie had anything to do with it."
Obviously, Jenelle was accusing Deavan of stealing her medication (she’s stated in the past that she takes Xanax for her esophageal spasms, so it’s safe to assume that she’s talking about that prescription or some other benzodiazepine).
But after Evans made the allegation, someone must have told her that she had set herself up to get sued into oblivion by Deavan.
Because she quickly posted a second clip, in which she backtracked on everything she said in the first one.
"I had a 45-minute conversation before I filmed my YouTube video, and I know what I legally could and could not say," Evans began, again laboring under the hilarious delusion that she knows anything about the American legal system.
"I didn’t accuse anyone of taking drugs," she continued.
"I just said Gabbie didn’t do it, and that my medicine was missing."
Well, wrap it up, team of attorneys Deavan has definitely already spoken with!
Jenelle might not have your fancy "law degrees" or "ability to string a coherent sentence together," but she didn’t say the specific words "Deavan Clegg definitely stole my Xanax," so she’s in the clear, motherf–kers!
Sure, she quite heavily implied as much, and it’s obvious to any who watched the video that she’s accusing Clegg of stealing her drugs, but Jenelle is like Matlock in this b-tch, and she’s found a legal loophole that allows her to allege whatever she wants about whomever she wants!
Okay, so clearly, we’re being sarcastic, and Deavan is 100 percent gonna sue Evans for defamation of character and hopefully drain the last $3.79 out of her checking account.
We usually wouldn’t feel the need to point out such heavy-handed sarcasm, as it’s obvious to anyone with half a brain.
But there’s a good chance Jenelle is reading this, and we wouldn’t want her to think we paid her a compliment.