Late last week, a deeply depressed Larissa Lima worried fans as she expressed the depths of her despair.
She has a lot of regrets and currently feels trapped, with no way out.
The 90 Day Fiance legend then took to Instagram Live to share more with her fans and followers.
We tuned in, and Larissa had a lot of heartbreak to share.
Larissa is known for her one-liners and her larger-than-life personality.
But fans have almost never seen her actually cry.
She was crying on her Instagram Live as she shared her depair with fans.
Larissa acknowledged that her depression is in full swing.
At the moment, she feels stuck in her apartment, miserable and alone in Colorado.
For Larissa, the weather is too cold, and her depression has left her with not enough energy to move.
Larissa and Eric Nichols broke up just weeks after sparking engagement (or even marriage) rumors.
According to Larissa, Eric no longer cares about her or returns her messages.
It sounds like it was another painful breakup for the on-again, off-again couple.
In fact, Larissa said that Eric doesn't seem to care if she's alive or dead.
Except, she added, that if she were dead, Eric might be able to say whatever he wanted about her.
We are thankful that she is alive, and not just so that she can refute others' claims.
Part of what makes Larissa feel stuck is a little more concrete than the terrible toll of depression.
Larissa does not have her passport. It was confiscated by ICE last September.
She cannot really go anywhere, despite her recent talks about going back to Brazil.
Larissa is currently living in an apartment in Colorado Springs.
She revealed that she only moved to Colorado with Eric because he had promised to go with her to Brazil eventually.
Now that is off of the table and she feels trapped and alone.
Larissa noted that she feels unable to date right now because she was on 90 Day Fiance.
Fame has its price, and so do the times that her ex-husband Colt had her arrested.
Larissa shared that one date in particular blew up in her face.
Apparently she connected with a guy after one of her many breakups with Eric.
They were going to go on a date, but the guy googled her.
He saw her feud with Fernanda Flores and threw that in her face, shaming her for past comments.
Larissa was visibly depressed during the Instagram Live, worrying fans for many reasons.
She did assure her followers that she has a therapist.
Even so, she is filled with regret.
Larissa does know that a larger city might make her relative fame less of a big deal.
But Colorado Springs has a mid-sized city of under 500,000 residents.
She feels like it's harder to get lost in a crowd outside of a major metropolis.
Larissa expressed a desire to redo her life, this time without 90 Day Fiance.
She never imagined that her whole life would revolve around having appeared on the franchise.
After all, she thought that she would be married to Colt Johnson for the rest of her life.
The good news is that Larissa does have a therapist.
But obviously, neither medication nor therapy make you immune to misery.
Larissa was having a very hard week, and she shared a lot of raw pain with her fans.
Larissa spoke fondly of the idea of returning to Brazil.
However, she did not share any plans to show her children to fans.
Having received so many vicious messages and death threats, she is unwilling to make her children targets.
Larissa even stated, miserably, that her children are better off without her.
She believes that, if they were in the US, they would suffer for her actions.
This, folks, is the depression talking.
Larissa also noted that 90 Day Fiance does not get a lot of respect for stars who appear on it.
It's not like The Real Housewives, for example.
According to her, even porn stars get less stigma than 90 Day Fiance alums.
Larissa spoke repeatedly of her impulse to delete Instagram altogether to cut off the vicious trolls who send her death threats.
Instead, she suggested, she may just hand over her password to her friend, Julia, who is Canadian.
Honestly, a social media manager is not a bad idea, especially if you get the kind of vitriol that Larissa does.
We have to confess that during her Instagram Live, we did send a couple of comments encouraging her to stop.
We here at THG love reporting on what Larissa is up to, but it was painful to watch someone suffering when we cannot help.
Hopefully, Larissa will soon be feeling better and more in control over her life.